Taking Chances
by BlueMoonFan
Summary: Inspired by a youtube video MommyToBe. Kate married Josh and gets pregnant. He doesn't want kids and leaves her. What happens when Castle finds out? Will Kate allow him to mend her broken heart? Will the two find the love they are looking for in each other? Rated M now.
1. Chapter 1

**Firstly, I must say that the premise for this story came from a youtube video. MommyToBe. I'm using some of the story idea, but changing it up a bit to fit my ideas.**

Still working on my other story, but a bit of writers block has me stuck for now.

Definitely AU.

Cast of Characters:

Katherine "Kate" Beckett- Tough New York Detective. Recently separated from her husband of three years.

Richard Castle- Best selling crime author. He's madly in love with Kate, but since she is married, he doesn't act on those feelings. Simply content to be her best friend and partner.

Alexis Castle- I have made her younger for the purposes of this story. In my story she is six years old. Just as precocious, but her parents divorce and being abandoned by her mother has had a terrible effect on the young girl.

Martha Rodgers- Castle's mother and grandmother to Alexis. She is eccentric and loveable. Always good for a laugh. Very protective of Castle and Alexis.

And because I like him, Roy Montgomery is alive and well in my story. Along with the usual cast of characters. Lanie, Ryan and Esposito will definitely be a big part of the story.

* * *

Lanie Parish sat in the woman's restroom and waited for her friend to show herself. When she did, she looked ashamed and shook her head, "I don't want to talk about it Lanie."

Shaking her head she told her friend, "Yeah, you've said it often enough over the past three days." Feeling her friends forehead, she continued, "You don't have a fever so that rules out the flu or food poisoning. Your eyes are clear. So, I don't think there's anything wrong with you. And yet you keep getting sick. Numerous times a day."

"I'm fine Lanie. I..."

Lanie crossed her arms in front of her and gave her a look that told Kate she didn't believe her, "Girl, you can lie to a lot of people here. You can lie to Espo and Ryan. Hell, you can even lie to Castle, but you can't lie to me. Tell me what's wrong with you."

Kate didn't want to tell her best friend what was wrong. It was bad enough that she had put her self in this position, but the tell someone else would make it that much worse. She shook her head, "I can't Lanie. I..."

Lanie sighed, "I'm your best friend. What is wrong with you sweetie? First you and Josh separate and now you're getting sick. Please tell me..."

Kate simply shook her head and Lanie saw the tears shining there. Lanie watched as her friend pushed past her and walked out of the bathroom. Leaving a confused Lanie standing by herself.

Kate went into the break room to get a cup of coffee. It probably wasn't good for her, but she didn't care right then. She needed something to calm her nerves and coffee would do that for her.

She watched as her coffee brewed and thought back on the events of the past month.

_She and Josh had been so happy together. They married after a whirlwind romance. They had been married for nearly three years. They never argued. Except about one small thing. Kate wanted a family. She wanted children. Josh didn't. He wanted to be free to go off on his trips around the world. He didn't want to have to worry about the time and expense that children would bring into his life._

_So, when Kate missed her first period six weeks ago, she knew that she was pregnant. She had always been regular and could count on her period coming like clockwork. So, she had taken a pregnancy test and for a brief moment, she had been excited. However, all that changed when she told Josh about the baby. _

_The look he gave her was one of contempt. Then he asked, "Are you going to get rid of it?"_

_Kate had been horrified at the suggestion. Even if it wasn't a planned pregnancy, she couldn't imagine getting rid of their baby. He or she was a product of the love that they shared. She finally told him, "No. I want the baby."_

_He swallowed hard, "You want the baby. You want it more than you want me." _

_Shaking her head, Kate whispered, "No. I love you." _

"_Then you will do the right thing. The sensible thing."_

"_I can't... I..."_

"_Listen Kate, it's very simple. You have to choose. It's me or that __**thing**__ that you are carrying. You can't have us both." _

_Putting her hand on her stomach, Kate shook her head, "I can't Josh. Look, it's all a big shock, I'm sure in time you will grow to love this baby and..."_

_Josh simply shook his head and told her, "No Kate. I won't grow to love it. I've never wanted kids and you knew that. You agreed that we weren't going to have children. You betrayed me Kate. So, you have to do the right thing and take care of it."_

"_Why? Because you say that it's the right thing! What if I want this baby?"_

"_Then you will lose me. It's one or the other Kate. You can't have both."_

_Kate could only stand there in shock. She couldn't believe that the man that she loved with her whole heart would talk to her like this. When she didn't answer him immediately, she watched as he shook his head and left the room. She heard him slam a door somewhere in the house. After a few minutes, he reappeared in the kitchen and told her, "I'll get the rest of my clothes when you're at work. Don't bother calling me." He turned to leave, but turned back around and told her, "Unless you get rid of it. Then I will forget all about your betrayal and I will gladly take you back. However, if you don't get rid of it, I will have no choice."_

"_What are you talking about? What choice don't you have?__  
_

_He shrugged, "I will divorce you."_

_Kate was shocked. How on earth could a baby make him mad enough to leave her? She had to have been dreaming. She would wake up and Josh would tell her how happy he was about the baby and everything would be back to normal._

_However, she knew that it wasn't a dream when she woke the following morning and saw that Josh's side of the bed hadn't been slept in and a some of his clothes were missing from his side of the closet. She sighed sadly and got ready for work that day._

_She knew that she should have stayed home that day. She had snapped at everyone and everything got on her nerves. Especially Castle and his damn theories. She had finally looked at him and snapped, "Would you please shut up? No one wants to hear your theories all the time." _

_The others had gotten so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop. Kate was horrified at her behavior. So, she grabbed her coat and hurried out of the station. Ignoring Castle as he called for her to wait for him._

_Once she was out of the precinct, she slumped up against the wall and she let the tears fall. How had her life fallen apart in the span of a day?_

_When she got home, she noticed that her house had been cleaned out. He had taken every piece of furniture that they had bought. The only thing he had left her was their wedding album. Which she picked up and hurled across the room. Then she slumped down the wall and fell apart._

_She had been debating about whether or not to do as Josh asked. She loved him and she could have him back very easily. All she had to do was get rid of the baby. It was a very simple procedure. It could be done easily in her doctors office._

_So, she made an appointment with her doctor the morning after Josh left. She wanted to talk to him and get the pregnancy confirmed. She also wanted to find out about possibly terminating the pregnancy. She loved Josh and wanted him in her life. Even if it meant getting rid of the baby that she carried inside her._

_Kate had always loved her doctor. He was a wonderful man. He had always been like a father to him. When he walked into the room, he smiled at her and said, "So Kate! I hear that you think you might be having a baby." _

_Kate could only nod and say, "Yes." _

_Doctor Taylor was a smart man. He'd been delivering babies for longer than Kate had been alive. He knew how to read people and Kate was no different. So, he asked her softly, "What's wrong?"_

_Watching her closely, he saw her swipe at her eyes and she whispered softly, "My husband doesn't want the baby."_

"_Why not? Is there some kind of disease in the family that he's afraid of?"_

_Kate shook her head, "No. He's never wanted kids. And I didn't think I did..." She sighed and then she continued, _"_At least until I took the pregnancy test. Now however...__I want the baby..."_

"_But?"_

"_But I don't want to lose my husband. I want to talk about terminating the pregnancy. I..."_

_Doctor Taylor looked at his patient and smiled sadly. He could tell that she didn't want to get rid of the baby that she carried. He hadn't been delivering babies for forty years for nothing. He could tell women who were serious about having an abortion and someone like Kate. Someone that felt trapped between the man she loved and the baby she carried._

_He smiled at Kate and said, "Well, lets determine if you are indeed pregnant or not." _

_He handed her a cup and pointed towards the bathroom. Once that was done, her performed the test and smiled at her, "You are pregnant. If you can lay down I want to perform an exam and listen for the heartbeat."_

_Kate nodded and laid down on the table. She closed her eyes and cried silently. Part of her wanted this over and part of her hated Josh for putting her in this position. For making her choose between him or the baby she was now carrying. She thought it would be easy. That she would go in and the doctor could give her a pill to take and it would all be over. She sighed and wished that she was home in bed. At least there she could cry in private._

_After a few minutes, she heard a soft swooshing sound fill the room. Her eyes popped open and she asked, "What's that?"_

_Doctor Taylor smiled, "That's your baby's heartbeat."_

_It was at that moment that her heart melted and she whispered softly, _"_My baby? It sounds very fast."_

_He smiled and nodded, "It's completely normal. One hundred and thirty beats per minute. Now, since you want to terminate the pregnancy, I need to explain the procedure to you."_

_Kate walked out of the doctors office and the sun hit her in the face. She decided that she needed to call and tell Josh the news._

_When he answered the phone he didn't say hello. All he said was, "Did you do the right thing?"_

"_I couldn't do it. I heard the baby's heartbeat and..."_

"_You decided to keep the thing then."_

"_Yes Josh."_

"_So, you made your decision then."_

"_Yes. I'm sorry. I still love you."_

_Josh laughed harshly and said, "No you don't. Otherwise, you would have gotten rid of it. Do me a favor Kate."_

"_Anything."_

"_Don't call me again. Any communication that we have will be through our lawyers."_

_With that, he hung up the phone and Kate dissolved into tears..._

**Now I realize that not everyone is going to like this story. Some people are probably against any baby that isn't Castle's. I think it's an interesting premise and decided to explore how Castle would react to Kate having a baby that isn't his.**

**If you like it, please leave a review.**


	2. Chapter 2

The next few weeks went on like normal. At least until the morning sickness started. Until then, she'd been able to hide her pregnancy from her co-workers and friends. At least until the moment that Lanie caught her in the bathroom getting sick.

She hadn't wanted to tell her best friend that she was pregnant and that her husband and left her because of the baby. Hadn't want to admit failure.

Kate thought that she was safe from Lanie. She should have known that her best friend wouldn't give up that easily. She should have been surprised when Lanie showed up at her house that night, but she knew that it was only a matter of time before her friend confronted her.

Hearing a knock on the door that night, Kate rushed to open it. She stupidly thought that it was Josh. When she saw Lanie standing there, she sighed and asked, "What do you want?"

"It's nice to see you to."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"Sure you did, but that's okay. And you know why?"

"Why?"

"It's okay because you are my best friend and I love you and I care about you."

When Kate started crying, Lanie put a hand on her shoulder and pulled her in for a hug. She hugged her until she stopped crying and then asked, "Feel better?"

Kate shook her head. If anything, she felt worse than before. She was all stuffy and her head hurt from crying. Lanie handed her a tissue and asked, "What's wrong?" She held up a hand when Kate started to shake her head, "Don't tell me nothing. You don't cry like that for nothing."

Kate sighed and decided to tell her friend. She needed someone to confide in. Someone that might be there to confide in and lend her an ear. She finally told her friend, "I'm pregnant."

Lanie's mouth dropped open from shock. She finally asked, "Does Josh know?"

Kate nodded slowly and told her, "That's why he left me."

"What?!"

"He doesn't want children. He demanded that I get rid of it. He wanted me to choose between him and the baby. When I couldn't, he packed up everything and left."

It was then that Lanie looked around and noticed that all of her friends furniture was gone. She had an air mattress to sleep on, but that was it. She finally said, "What an ass. What are you going to do?"

"I'm keeping the baby. I hope that once he or she is born he will come to his senses. I know that once he sees the baby he will feel differently. I..."

Lanie didn't agree with her friend. She had always thought that Josh didn't deserve her. He loved himself and his medical career. He loved traveling around the world to help out in third world countries. He didn't deserve Kate and everyone knew it. Everyone that is except for Kate. Her friend had always had unfailing faith in her husband. And it seemed as if she was still unwilling to see him for who he truly was. He was an ass. An ass that didn't deserve a woman like Kate.

Lanie finally asked, "Does anyone else know?"

Kate shook her head, "No. And I want to keep it that way. You can't tell anyone Lanie."

"Not even Castle?"

"Especially Castle! God, if he found out he would say he told me so. He has always hated Josh."

Lanie knew why he hated the man and said, "Yeah, that's only because he's in love with you."

Kate shook her head, "We are just friends and..."

"You keep telling yourself that and maybe you will believe it. He loved you before you even met Josh and I know you loved him at one time. But the two of you were too stubborn to admit it to each other. Do you really think he needs to do any more research for his books? He probably has enough to fill fifty books. No, that man loves you, but he knows that you are married and he respects that."

Kate smiled sadly, "He does. Doesn't he?"

Lanie nodded, "Yes. You should really think about one thing."

"What's that?"

"Whether you really want to give Josh another chance. He doesn't deserve you and her certainly doesn't deserve that baby you're carrying. If he loved you he would support you. Not run away. Even if the baby wasn't planned."

"I still love him Lanie."

Lanie sighed, "I know you do. Misguided as it might be."

"Lanie... Please don't start..."

Lanie leaned forward and hugged her best friend. Then she told her, "I think you should tell Castle. You know he would be there for you."

"I know, but I can't ask him to do that. It isn't fair to him. I know what would happen. He would fall in love with this baby and it would tear him apart once Josh comes to his senses."

Lanie wasn't going to say that she doubted that Josh was going to come to his senses. Her best friend was hurting and didn't need her to add to her hurt. So, she said, "I won't say anything, but you need to tell him. Sooner rather than later. He's going to find out sooner or later. Especially once you start showing."

"I will. I just need to find a way to. I haven't even told him that Josh left."

"Really?"

Kate shook her head. She couldn't tell Castle. Because that would be like admitting that she had failed. She knew she needed to tell him, but she couldn't. At least not yet. Not until the time was right.

The next week went by quickly and before Kate knew it, the Christmas weekend was upon them. She was still having the occasional bought of morning sickness, but it wasn't too bad. She was nearly twelve weeks pregnant by then. She still hadn't told Castle. Hadn't told him about the baby or about splitting up with Josh.

Her secret would be out in the open when she arrived at work the day before the long weekend. She saw a man walking over to her desk. He had a manilla envelope in one hand and smiled at her. Then he handed her the envelope and said, "You've been served."

Kate was confused at first. At least until she opened it. When she read the contents, the tears started again. Divorce papers. Josh had filed for divorce. Great. So he was going through with it. She felt the tears start and she threw them on the desk and practically ran into the breakroom. She needed to get away from her desk.

Castle had been worried about Kate for weeks. She had been moody and depressed. So, when he saw her reaction to the papers, he couldn't help himself. He picked them up and saw that Josh was filing for divorce. That shocked him. He had thought that they were happy. Obviously they weren't. No wonder Kate was so upset. He smiled and made a split second decision.

He walked into the breakroom and saw her crying softly. He put his hand on her shoulder and whispered, "I'm sorry. I know that you love him and..."

"You saw the papers?"

Castle nodded, "Yeah. What happened?"

This was the opening she needed. She could tell him why Josh left. Tell him that he left because of the baby, but she couldn't. So, she simply shrugged and told him,"It's not important. We...we just grew apart."

Castle could tell that she didn't want to talk about it. So, he nodded and asked her, "You shouldn't be alone. Not during the holidays. Come with Alexis and me to the Hamptons. We will have lots of good food and I make an amazing cup of cocoa. I promise you will have fun."

He could see that Kate wanted to go, but she was hesitating. She told him, "I don't want to intrude on your time with Alexis and... I'm not really good company this time of year."

"What better way to take your mind off of things than to spend some time with me and my beautiful daughter."

"I don't know Castle. I'd hate to depress you. Especially at this time of the year. No, I think it's best if I stay home by myself and...

Castle waved his hand and smiled, "Alexis will love to have you join us. Besides, no one should be by themselves at this time of the year. And whether you know it or not, Alexis has been asking about you."

That surprised Kate, "She has?"

"Yeah. She wants to know when you are coming over for dinner again. You made quite the impression on her."

"Really?" Brilliant Kate. Can you think of any other response longer than one or two words? He must think I'm an idiot.

If he did, it didn't show. He simply smiled and told her, "Yeah. She thinks your pretty. I know she would be thrilled if you came with us this weekend."

Castle could tell that he was wearing her down.

She bit on her bottom lip. She wanted to go with him. She really did. And spending the weekend with Castle and his daughter sounded much better than being alone at her house. After thinking about it for a few minutes, she finally nodded and told him, "If you're sure Alexis won't mind."

"She will love it. We decorate the tree. Mother went up yesterday to start cooking. The house itself has been decorated since the day after Thanksgiving. It's going to be magical. Please say yes..."

Kate could tell that this was important to Castle. There was something about the way his eyes literally sparkled when he talked about spending time with her. Then when he asked her to say yes, her heart melted and Kate smiled, "Then yes. I'd love to go with you."

The smiled that sprang onto Castle's face made her smile. She felt happy for the first time in weeks.

He told her, "Yes! I knew that I could wear you down! I'll pick you up at your place. Do you think you can get tomorrow off?"

It had been slow around the precinct lately. No murders to solve. Just a lot of paperwork. Paperwork that would still be here when she got back. She was sure that Montgomery would let her have off. He nodded, "It shouldn't be a problem."

Castle smiled and hugged her tightly. He literally looked like a little boy at Christmas and his smile was contagious and he asked, "I'll pick you up at your place. Is nine too early?"

Shaking her head, she told him, "No. I'm usually up by seven."

She watched as he hurried to the elevator. He smiled as the door closed and waved goodbye to her. She couldn't help but smile.

Kate smiled as she walked into her Captain's office. Knowing that she would be able to get the time off and for the first time in a long time she was able to smile again.

That night, for the first time in weeks, she was able to fall asleep without crying herself to sleep. And when she woke the following morning, she was excited about the day ahead.


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N I know that some of you are wondering why Castle is still following Kate. Even though she's married to Josh. The best reason would be that he would rather have her in his life as a partner than not at all. I've briefly touched on this in this chapter. And they will explore it more as the story progresses.**_

Kate was sitting on the curb waiting for him the next morning. She didn't want to risk him coming inside and seeing her house without furniture.

When they pulled up to her house that morning, she smiled when she saw Alexis sticking her head out the window and waving at her. It was obvious to Kate that the little girl was excited to see her.

She smiled and heard Castle say, "That looks good on you."

Kate gave him a look and asked, "What does?"

Castle smiled over at her and whispered, "Your smile."

They looked at each other and smiled. Castle leaned forward and for a split second, Kate thought he was going to kiss her, but the moment was broken when Alexis asked, "What are you guys doing? I want to get to the house so we can go swimming!"

Kate jumped and Castle shook his head and laughed. Then he took her suitcase and put it in the car.

Kate sat in the car, put her sunglasses on and asked Alexis, "How are you going to go swimming? It's December and very cold out."

Alexis smiled and told her, "The pool is heated. Daddy did that so that we could go swimming when it was cold outside."

"Your daddy's pretty smart."

Alexis smiled brightly and with the confidence and admiration that only a six year old little girl can manage she said, "He is. He's the smartest daddy in the whole wide world."

Kate smiled at her partners little girl, "Wow. That's pretty smart."

"He knows everything. He's the bestest daddy in the whole world. I love him so much."

Kate looked out the window and felt tears pricking her eyes. How she wished that her child would think that about his or her father. Instead, they had a father that didn't want them. That he was divorcing it's mother because he didn't want him or her. She sighed softly and apparently it wasn't too softly because Castle asked, "Are you okay?"

Kate tried to smile and she said, "I'm fine."

Castle didn't think she was fine. She sounded upset. Sad even. He knew that if he wasn't driving, he could have studied her more and been able to get the truth out of her. However, he didn't want to confront her in front of Alexis. So, he decided that he would talk to her later.

For the rest of the trip, Kate and Alexis played a bingo game that he kept in the car for Alexis for the ride up to the house in the Hamptons. Alexis won most of the games that they played, but he loved the fact that his daughter was able to make Kate laugh. He'd always thought that there was nothing better than the sound of her laughter. Well, except the sound of his daughters laughter.

Castle had debated long and hard whether or not to invite Kate to spend the holidays with them. He'd wondered if he was just going to end up regretting spending this time with Kate. Part of him wondered if she and Josh would kiss and make up and then he would only be left with the memory of this Christmas that they spent together.

He did know that he wouldn't stand in her way. If she wanted to try and make things work with Josh, he would step aside.

The day that she had married Josh, he had went and gotten rip-roaring drunk. He had very nearly walked away from her and from their partnership for good. However, the thought of never seeing her beautiful face again, was something he couldn't bare. He would much rather have her in his life as a friend, then lose her altogether.

He had tried to put on a happy face for her. Tried to go on like nothing had changed. It was hard, but he would do it. Simply for the chance to be with her.

When he'd seen the divorce papers sitting on her desk, he had to admit that he was happy. However, when he saw her crying in the breakroom all he wanted to do was put a smile on her face again. So, he'd made a split second decision to invite her to join him and Alexis for the holidays. For a brief moment, he wondered if she would say no. He prayed that she wouldn't, but he'd held his breath.

When she said yes, he couldn't stop the smile that came to his face.

He was brought out of his musings when he heard Alexis say, "Daddy! Are you even paying attention to me?"

Castle laughed and shook his head, "I'm sorry Pumpkin. What did you say?"

Alexis sighed dramatically and shook her head, "You should really pay more attention."

Castle heard Kate laugh and the sound was like music to his ears. He would do whatever he could to hear that sound as often as possible. He smiled and said, "You're right Pumpkin. I should. And I'm sorry. What did you say?"

He didn't have to see his daughters face to know that she was rolling her eyes at him. She was six going on sixteen. He heard her ask, "I wanted to know if we can walk to the store when we get there."

Castle nodded, "I can walk with you and..."

"No daddy. I want to go with Kate. I need to get your Christmas present and..."

"Didn't you already get me a present?"

Alexis sighed again, "Have you been peeking at the presents again daddy?"

"Uh no..."

"Then how did you know I got you a present?"

"I just guessed..."

"Daddy..."

He heard Kate laugh again and he smiled, "I'm not sure if Kate wants to..."

Castle smiled when he heard Kate say, "I would love to walk with her. I can stretch my legs. They are a bit stiff."

"See daddy. She doesn't mind."

Castle nodded and smiled at his daughter, "Okay. Then who am I to stop you from going."

"Yay! You will love it Kate. The general store in town has everything you can imagine. They have this amazing fudge that melts in your mouth and..."

Castle smiled at his daughter's enthusiasm. He took a second to glance over at Kate and he noticed the smile on her face. However, there was a touch of sadness on her face. She looked almost wistful. She finally closed her eyes and fell asleep. When he heard nothing from the backseat, he realized that Alexis had drifted off also.

They arrived at the house an hour later. Alexis woke first and called out, "Wake up Kate! We are here!"

His daughter got out of the car and ran around the car. Then she disappeared into the house. Castle smiled and reached over to wake Kate. He smiled at her and said, "We made it."

Kate smiled, "And in one piece to."

"Yep."

She smiled at him and he felt his heart skip a beat. God how he loved her. He would always love this remarkable woman. If only she had known his feelings before she had met and married Josh. If only he hadn't been so afraid of losing her. Because in the end, he'd lost any chance he had ever hoped to have with her.

Castle got out of the car and headed inside. It was surprisingly warm that day. It couldn't have been colder than sixty degrees. He knew where Alexis had went to. She always headed to her room to put on a bathing suit.

So, when she came out dressed in her bathing suit a few minutes later, Castle laughed and told her, "I want to give Kate the tour and then we can go swimming."

Alexis nodded and sat down to wait for her father. Their first night away was wonderful. They had gone swimming and were relaxing by a bonfire on the beach. Tomorrow, Kate and Alexis were going to the general store in town.

The next day dawned bright and sunny. Kate woke up and dressed for the day. She smiled when she heard Alexis giggling and it was a sound that warmed her heart. When she walked into the kitchen and saw Castle and Alexis sitting there, she smiled and asked, "Why didn't you wake me?"

Alexis sighed and pointed at her father, "I wanted to, but daddy wouldn't let me. He said that you needed your beauty sleep."

Kate laughed and leveled a glare at Castle, "Oh really?"

"I didn't say that. I..."

"You did to daddy. You said..."

Castle started tickling her and that stopped her from telling on him. She finally called out, "Stop it daddy! I give up!"

Kate simply smiled and ate her breakfast. The scene between Castle and his daughter was bittersweet to her. Castle was such a wonderful father. He truly loved Alexis and she could tell that the feeling was mutual. This is what she wanted for her baby, but she knew that it was probably not meant to be. Josh wasn't Castle and while he was a good doctor, she was starting to realize that he wasn't a good man.

Kate heard Alexis ask, "Are you ready Kate?"

Finishing her breakfast, Kate nodded and told her, "Lead the way!"

Alexis smiled and took Kate's hand as they walked out of the house, Castle could hear his daughter chattering all the way.

Everything was normal on the walk down to the store. Alexis found what she was looking for and proudly paid for her purchase. When they got back, Alexis wanted to go swimming on the beach. Kate thought that idea was lovely. The weather was nice, so Castle agreed.

The rest of the Christmas holiday went wonderfully. They ate too much and drank too much. Kate had to admit that she didn't want to go back home.

What happened on Christmas night left her speechless and questioning her feelings for Castle and for her soon to be ex-husband.

Martha and Alexis had gone to bed. Leaving Castle and Kate sitting up talking. Castle kept making her laugh. It felt like she hadn't laughed in years. It felt so good to laugh again. Castle finally looked at her and asked, "Talk a walk with me?"

Kate nodded, "Gladly."

She grabbed her coat and they walked outside together. She was surprised when he reached for her hand, but it somehow felt right. So, when he tried to let go, she held on tight. He raised an eyebrow, but didn't pull his hand away.

Soon, they found their way to the beach. The night air felt wonderful to Kate. The air was so different here. It was clean and fresh. She found herself wishing that they didn't have to go back to reality. When she looked back on it later, she would wonder why she did what she did. They reached the beach and sat down on the sand. She felt so safe with him. She had always felt safe with him. There was a time when she had thought she was falling in love with him, but then she had met Josh. She had been swept off of her feet by the handsome doctor. Looking back, she realized that she had made a big mistake. Marrying Josh had been a huge mistake on her part. Now, she could admit that she regretted not giving Castle a chance.

So, when she was sitting on the beach with him, she forgot about everything she was trying to escape from. She forgot about Josh. She forgot about the baby that she carried. She forgot that she was married. All she could think about was the man sitting beside her. The man who had never given up on her. No matter what. She turned her head to look at him and before she knew it, she was kissing him.

She felt his hands cup her cheeks and she realized how easy it would be to let him take her to bed. How she could use him to forget all of her troubles. Then she realized that she couldn't do that to him. It wasn't fair to him. She was, after all, a married woman. In that split second, she realized that she no longer loved her husband. She loved the one man that had always stood by her side. Even when she didn't deserve it.

She finally pulled away and whispered, "I'm sorry."

Castle shook his head, "No. I'm the one that's sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I..."

She wanted to tell him the real reason why she and Josh were divorcing. Wanted to tell him about the baby. She wanted to tell him so many things. Mostly, she wanted to tell him how sorry she was. For marrying Josh. Instead, Kate put her hand on his cheek and whispered, "I wish I was free to love you. There are just so many things that you don't know about. So many things I want to tell you."

Castle smiled at her softly, "Then tell me. I'm all ears."

Kate shook her head softly, "I can't. It wouldn't be right to burden you with everything. It's not fair and.."

"Let me be the judge of that Kate."

She shook her head. She stood up and brushed the sand off of her pants. She had tears in her eyes when she whispered, "I can't. I'm sorry Castle. I..."

She turned and headed to the house. He could hear her cry softly as she went. He hoped that it wasn't because he had kissed her. It had just been an impulse. One that he had tried to control, but after three years of loving her, he was unable to resist. He wondered if that one simple act was the one thing that would drive her away from him for good.

He got up and walked back to the house. He noticed that she was in bed already and he sighed as he walked to his bedroom. Wondering if he had finally succeeded in driving her away from him forever...


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N- Just a filler chapter. Figured that Kate needed a bit of girl talk and who better for that girl talk than Lanie... Thank you for all the nice reviews and follows. I really appreciate it since this story is so AU..._**

Kate woke up early the morning after Christmas. To be honest, she hadn't really slept the night before. She'd replayed the kiss that Castle had given her over and over again in her mind. It was nothing less than magical.

They would be driving back to New York tomorrow, so Kate wanted to walk into town again. She wanted to pick up a few things at the store. Walking out to the kitchen, she noticed that Alexis was sitting on one of the barstools. She looked annoyed and Kate asked, "Are you okay Alexis?"

Alexis shrugged, "I'm bored. Daddy's still sleeping and so is Grams. I want to go swimming, but I'm not allowed to unless an adult is around."

Kate bit on her bottom lip. Surely she counted as an adult. So, she told Alexis, "Go get your suit on and I'll watch you in the pool. Then, when you're done you can walk with me to the store."

Alexis cheered and Kate laughed at her enthusiasm. What she wouldn't give sometimes, to be six years old again.

Kate had grabbed her cell phone and she was sitting by the pool watching Alexis swim. It was a bit cold, but it wasn't too bad.

Her phone rang and Kate smiled when she saw that it was Lanie. She picked it up and said, "Hello Lanie."

"You sound happy."

"Lanie. Don't start."

"What? I'm not doing anything. Simply stating a fact. Are you having a good time?"

Kate watched as Alexis turned a somersaults in the pool and popped out of the water, she laughed and said, "I am. It's nice to get away for awhile."

"Away from Josh?"

"Lanie..."

"What?"

She decided that she could talk to her friend while she watched Alexis, "He served me with divorce papers before I left. He's really going through with it."

Lanie laughed sarcastically and told her, "Of course he's going through with it. Did you think he was going to magically change his mind overnight?"

"No, but I thought he would at least wait until after the baby's born before he made a decision. It just seems so cold and heartless."

"Oh and telling you to have an abortion is right there on the top of the romantic things you tell the woman you love lists."

Kate closed her eyes for a moment and said, "Lanie... Please don't start. It's hard enough dealing with Josh being an ass because of the baby. I don't need it from my best friend to."

"I'm sorry. It just hurts that you are having to deal with this on top of being pregnant. Having a baby should be a happy time."

Kate laughed sarcastically and told her, "Well, nothing new there. My life seems to be one big ball of sadness. Now I can add being pregnant to that list."

"Kate, you don't mean that."

"I do Lanie. If I hadn't gotten pregnant I would still be happy with Josh and I..."

"Were you ever truly happy with him? I mean the deep down, butterflies in your stomach kind of happy?"

Kate sighed and then told her friend, "I was at first, but..."

"But what?"

"I wondered if I had simply settled for him because I thought I couldn't find someone better."

Lanie huffed, "You had someone better right there all along. Someone that followed you around like a little lost puppy dog. At least until you decided to kick him to the curve in favor of that ass of a husband. Which I might add, I told you wouldn't work out and..."

"Lanie..."

"Alright, alright. Have you told Castle about the baby yet?"

"No. I don't know how to Lanie. How do you tell someone that you're having a baby and that's the reason why your husband is divorcing you? I don't want to see the look in his eyes when I tell him Lanie."

"Girl, you just need to tell him. It can't be any worse than when you told him you and Josh were getting married."

Kate closed her eyes as she remembered the look of pain that crossed Castle's eyes when she told him that she was marrying Josh. He had been so very sweet about it. He had kissed her on the cheek and wished her luck. Thinking back now, she remembered wanting him to say something. To tell her that he cared about her and wanted a chance with her. In the end, he hadn't done anything except stand aside gracefully while she married someone else.

Kate swallowed and whispered, "I've made such a mess out of my life. I wonder if I'm making a mistake having this baby. What if I screw up?"

"Girl! You aren't going to screw up. Regardless of what you may or may not have heard, babies don't come with an instruction booklet. No one knows what they are doing at first. It's trial by error."

"I just wish things were different. I definitely didn't pick well when I picked Josh."

"Be that as it may, you are having a baby and we will all be there for you. And that includes Castle."

Kate sighed heavily and asked, "How can you be so sure? How can you be sure that he won't tell me to have a nice life and run away screaming in the opposite direction?"

Lanie laughed, "Please! You obviously haven't seen or you have conveniently forgotten how that man looks at you. He's in love with you girlfriend. And don't even try to say that he isn't. Because it's written all over the man's face."

Kate smiled as she remember how it felt when he kissed her last night. There was so much tenderness in that one single kiss. She couldn't deny the love he felt for her. Even if she tried. So, she whispered, "I still don't know how to tell him."

"It's three little words."

Laughing harshly, Kate told her, "The words seem pretty big from where I stand."

"How hard is it to say, Castle, I'm pregnant? Not very hard at all."

"Yeah, because you aren't the one having a baby by a man that's divorcing you because of that baby. Because you won't do the 'right' thing and get rid of it. Most men would be thrilled that their wives are having a baby. And yet I marry the one man in a million that thinks it's a curse rather than a blessing. Go figure."

"Not all men are like Josh. Some men, most men are, in fact, like Castle. You won't know how he will react until you tell him. I can tell him for you if you want."

Kate screamed out, "No! Lanie don't you dare!"

"I'm just kidding. Seriously, what are going to do? Wait until you are in the hospital having the baby before you tell him you're pregnant?"

Laughing, Kate told her, "The thought had crossed my mind. I figure maybe I can just say that I swallowed a watermelon or something."

"What is wrong with you? You take down criminals for a living, but you're scared to tell Castle that you're pregnant."

"I just don't want to see the look of heartbreak in his eyes Lanie. I saw it once and it was more than enough to last one lifetime. Thank you very much."

"You never know, he could surprise you. It could be the best gift you ever gave yourself sweetie."

Kate picked at an imaginary piece of dust on her shorts and whispered, "Or it could be an everlasting nightmare. I've already lost one person I thought loved me. I couldn't stand it if I lost another person. Especially not someone as important to me as Castle is."

"I'm pretty sure he won't leave. Hell, he stuck it out after you married the man. Surely a little thing like having a baby wouldn't drive him away."

"You're right. I know I have to tell him. I just don't know..."

"See, that's where you're going wrong. You're thinking about it way too much. Just march into that house and tell him. Tell him that's why Josh is divorcing you. I promise you that Castle won't leave. He loves you too much for that."

"You really believe that. Don't you?"

"I really do. In case you haven't noticed, Richard Castle isn't like any other man on this planet."

"I will tell him today Lanie. I promise."

She talked with Lanie for a few minutes more and then finally told her, "I need to go. Alexis is turning blue from being in the pool for so long. I'll call you later. Love you."

"Love you to. And don't worry. Everything will work out just fine. I promise."

Kate disconnected the call. She wished that she could be as optimistic as her best friend was, but she had a feeling that Lanie was way off the mark on this one.

"Come one sweetpea! Lets get out and get you out of that pool and get you dressed! You're turning into an Alexis popsicle."

The little girl laughed at her joke and got out of the pool and grabbed her towel. She ran towards the house and Kate followed close behind her.

"Are you ready to go to the store? I heard that there's a piece of fudge with out names on it? And maybe you can help me figure out some of your dad's favorite foods."

"Oh that's easy, he loves steak and potatoes."

Kate smiled and said, "Well, then maybe we will have to make steak for dinner."

"With macaroni and cheese?"

Kate smiled at the little girl and said, "Of course. Are you ready?"

Alexis nodded and Kate took a minute to scribble a note to Castle. Letting him know that they had gone to the store.

Kate hurried after Alexis and smiled as the little girl skipped ahead of her. She missed the days when the promise of a pool trip made her happy. She wished that she could be that carefree again. Sometimes being an adult was a lot harder than it should be. She made the decision right then and there that she would tell Castle about the baby during dinner that night. She would let whatever happened happen. She just hoped that she didn't lose the best person that ever walked into her life in the process...

_**A/N 2- The next chapter is already written. Just tweaking it a bit before I send it to my beta reader... **_


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N- I'm not sure how much I like this chapter. I think I wrote and rewrote it five times before I came up with this._**

They had just turned the corner of the road when it happened. Later, Kate would say that it had happened so fast that she barely had time to think about what was happening. She simply reacted. That her cop instincts simply kicked in. She saw a car coming straight towards them. She knew that Alexis was in danger. So, she simply reacted and ran to grab Alexis. The car managed to avoid hitting her, but she tripped and fell. The momentum from the fall caused Kate hit her head on a rock. It knocked her unconscious. Thankfully, Alexis didn't have a scratch on her. So, she was able to run back to the house for help.

She ran into her dad's bedroom and said, "Daddy! Come quick!"

Castle turned and saw the fear in his daughters eyes. He asked, "What's wrong?"

Alexis was talking so fast and she barely made any sense, "It happened so fast daddy! I don't know how she did it."

"Who did what?"

Alexis took a deep breath and said, "Kate daddy! I think a car hit her. She saved me and..."

That was all Alexis was able to get out before Castle took off running. He had to wait for Alexis to show him where to find her. On the way, he called for an ambulance. When he reached her, he noticed that she was bleeding from an open wound on her head. She was unconscious and her arm looked like it was broken. He hoped to God that she wasn't hit by the car and simply fell.

The ambulance arrived a few minutes after he did. They tried to wake her, but were unsuccessful, so the paramedics told him, "We are going to need to take her to the hospital."

Castle nodded, "Of course. I'll meet you there."

Castle hurried back to the house and woke his mother. He told her briefly what had happened and that he was going to the hospital.

He broke nearly every traffic law to get to the hospital. When he arrived, the nurse told him, "The doctors are still examining your wife. Someone will be out with more information soon."

Castle simply nodded. Not bothering to correct her. He paced the waiting area nervously. What had she been thinking? That was a dangerous part of the road, but she had no way of knowing that. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

After what seemed like forever, but was really only an hour, he heard someone say, "Katherine Beckett's family?"

"That's me!" The doctor smiled and Castle decided that was a good sign. He asked, "How is she?"

Smiling, the doctor said, "Your wife is a very lucky woman. She suffered a minor concussion and her arm was broken in the fall."

"But she will be fine?"

Her doctor nodded, "She appears fine, but we are a bit concerned about the baby. So, we want to keep her overnight. Just to monitor her for any signs of a miscarriage. She still unconscious, but you can sit beside her bed."

Baby? Kate was pregnant? How had he not noticed it? Why hadn't she told him? Was this going drive her back to Josh? He had a million questions running through his head as the doctor led him back to sit by Kate's bedside.

When he sat down beside her, all he could do was look at her. She didn't look pregnant. He took her hand and kissed it softly. Then he whispered, "Thank you for saving Alexis. I don't know what I would do without her. I just wish you hadn't gotten hurt."

Castle lowered his head as a million thought ran through his head. He felt her hand move and he watched as she opened her eyes. When she saw him, he could tell that she was panicking and looking around the room. When she saw him, she asked quickly, "Alexis?"

Castle smiled at her, "She's fine. A little scared, but she fine." Then he looked at her and whispered, "And your baby is fine."

She got a panicked look on her face and then she whispered, "You know about the baby?"

He nodded, "The doctor's told me." He squeezed her hand and asked, "What I want to know is, why didn't you tell me?"

Kate closed her eyes and turned her head away from him, "I didn't know how to tell you. I... I'm sorry.."

Then she heard him ask, "Are you going to go back to Josh?"

He heard her laugh harshly and then watched as she shook her head, "No."

"Why?"

"Why does it matter Castle?"

"It matters to me Kate."

She sighed and a tear slipped down her cheek. She sighed, "He doesn't want the baby. Gave me an ultimatum."

"What ultimatum?"

She swiped at a tear and then whispered, "It was either him or the baby. I couldn't get rid of the baby. I refused to get rid of the baby like he wanted... So, he's divorcing me."

Castle didn't know what to say. He wanted to say that he was sorry, but he wasn't. Not really. He was only sorry that Kate was hurting because of it. He could have said a million thing about Josh. How he was an ass and never deserved a woman like Kate. He finally asked, "How far along are you?"

"Three months. Give or take. I don't have anyone now."

Castle shook his head, "You have me. I l...care about you."

"You're sweet Castle, but you don't have to do that."

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. Josh might have left you, but I won't. That baby needs a father and..."

Kate shook her head, "You aren't responsible for me or this baby."

"I know, but you are a friend and regardless of what you think about me personally, I happen to be a pretty good father. If you need references you can ask Alexis. Although she might be a bit biased."

Kate turned to look at him and she saw nothing but the truth in his eyes. She finally smiled and whispered, "Thank you, but I can't ask you to do that."

He shook his head, "You're not asking me to. I offered."

"Yeah right."

Castle could tell that she was getting tired and stood up to kiss her on her forehead. He finally asked, "Is it okay if I bring Alexis to visit you tonight? I think it really scared her seeing you like that."

She smiled and nodded, "I would like that."

"Do you need me to bring you anything?"

She thought for a minute and then said, "If you can bring me my suitcase. I need my toothbrush and a few other things."

Castle nodded and he wanted to give her a kiss, but he wasn't quite sure where they stood. So, he kissed her forehead and then turned to leave the room. He wanted to punch something or rather, someone. He wanted to find Josh and hurt him. Wanted to punch him and ask him what he was thinking. Ask him if he knew what an incredible gift he had been giving and was throwing away. A baby with Kate would make him the happiest man in the world.

He had meant it when he said that he would be there for her and her baby. He wondered if he could raise another man's child as his own. For him it was an easy answer and that answer was yes. He would love Kate's baby as his own. He would be the man that Josh refused to be. In any way that he she needed him. Any way that she would let him.

He drove back to the house in silence. When he walked into the house, he was immediately tackled by Alexis. She asked him, "Is Kate okay?! Where is she daddy?"

"She's at the hospital."

"It's all my fault. I..."

Castle shook his head and told her, "No. It's the fault of the person driving that car." He turned and saw his mother standing there. He could tell that she wanted to ask him a million questions. So, he told Alexis, "Go draw Kate a picture and then I will take you up to the hospital and you can visit her."

Once he thought Alexis was out of earshot, he told his mother, "She has a broken arm and a slight concussion. They are keeping her overnight."

Martha could see that something was troubling her son. So, she smiled and asked, "What aren't you telling me?"

He took a deep breath, "She's pregnant."

"Oh boy. Is she going to go back to her husband?"

Castle shook his head, "No. He doesn't want the baby. He's divorcing her because she's pregnant. What kind of man doesn't want to be a father to their child?"

Martha laughed sarcastically and told Castle, "The same kind of woman that doesn't want to be a mother to that precious daughter you have in there. Maybe you should introduce them. They would make a lovely pair."

Castle knew that his mother was only half joking. He went to get ready to take Kate her things. When he turned to go to her room, he saw Alexis standing in the hallway. Her crayons and paper scattered on the floor. Her eyes were red and Castle knew that she had been crying and asked, "Alexis. What's wrong?"

"You have to help her daddy."

"Help who?"

"Kate. Every baby deserves a daddy and you're the best daddy there is. I know you would love Kate's baby. Just like you love me."

He took his daughter in his arms and hugged her tight. Then he told her, "It's really not up to me Pumpkin. That's for Kate to decide. No matter what she decides, we will both be there for her. Even if we are just her friends."

Alexis understood what her father was saying, but she didn't agree with him. No matter what she did, she would make Kate realize that her baby was lucky to have her daddy for it's daddy. No matter what.

Castle hurried and got Kate's things together and soon they were back at the hospital. Alexis wanted to get a teddy bear for the baby. She took forever choosing the right one. She finally picked out a purple bear with flowers on its tummy. It was almost as big as she was. Castle couldn't help but smile. She insisted on carrying it herself and they walked onto the elevator.

When they got to Kate's room, she was sleeping. So, Castle put the bear at the foot of her bed and he was surprised when Alexis climbed in with her. He watched as she whispered something to Kate's stomach. When he asked, "What did you say?"

Alexis would only tell him, "It's between me and her baby."

"Alexis..."

She gave him a funny look and asked, "What?"

Before he could say anything, Kate was opening her eyes and she smiled at Alexis and hugged her with her one good arm, "I'm so glad you're okay sweetie."

Alexis' eyes clouded over and she whispered, "I'm sorry you got hurt. And I'm sorry about your baby's father not wanting him or her."

Castle wanted to crawl into the floor and disappear he warned her, "Alexis..."

Alexis gave him a look, then went on to say, "I told your baby something. I told her that I would share my daddy with her. Because he's the bestest daddy in the whole wide world. And he gives the best hugs and kisses. He hardly ever gets mad at me. Well, unless I do something really bad." Alexis thought about it for a minute and then said, "And he has just the right sized hands."

Kate could barely speak because of the tears, but managed to ask, "Right size for what?"

"They are just the right size for holding your baby and rocking her to sleep."

Alexis snuggled closer to her and Castle mouthed, "I had nothing to do with this..."

She wasn't sure if he did or not, but she wasn't ready to make a decision. Part of her felt that Josh would change his mind when he saw their baby. She could honestly say that she no longer loved him, but her baby needed a father. But the other part of her could see herself with Castle and Alexis. Could see herself and her baby as part of their family. It would be so easy to love both of them.

She knew that she could never use Castle. She would let him be there for her as a friend, but she couldn't let him act as a substitute father for her baby. No matter how much he claimed to want it, she would have to keep him at arms length. What she couldn't anticipate was how far Castle would go to weave himself into her life and make her come to the realization that both her and her baby couldn't live without him in their lives...

_**A/N2- Okay, so there it is. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go semi-dramatic or sweet. I chose this as a small compromise between the two. I hope you enjoyed it and please leave a review. Next chapter will be full of fluffy Castle goodness...**_


	6. Chapter 6

Kate was released from the hospital two days after the accident. Kate fell asleep on the way home and it gave Castle a lot of time to think about the events of the past few days. He meant what he had told Kate. He would be there for her and her baby. A baby who was currently without a father. It wouldn't be like that for long if he had anything to say about it though. He was going to do everything he could to show her that he could be the kind of guy that her baby deserved. The kind of man that she needed in her life. The kind of man that Josh wasn't.

He drove up to her house and parked the car. He smiled as he shook her awake and she turned and smiled at him. He smiled back and whispered, "You're home."

She nodded, "Thanks for bringing me home. I'll call you in the morning."

Shaking his head, Castle told her, "You're not staying here."

She did a double take and asked, "What?"

"I said that you're not staying here."

She laughed, "Okay then. Where am I going to stay?"

"With me and Alexis of course."

"And why would I do that?"

"Because you have a broken arm and you're pregnant. You need someone to take care of you."

"I'm a grown woman Castle. I've been taking care of myself for years. Before you . Before Josh. I don't need..."

Castle held up his hand and stopped her, "I know, but if I come home without you Alexis is going to keep bugging me. Until I have no choice but to come back here and get you anyways. So, I'm just going to take you home with me and save us all a lot of trouble."

She laughed and said, "Alexis huh? That's who you're going to blame?"

"What can I say? She's six and she's cute as a button, but she's a redhead and she has a mean temper when I don't do like she says. And in all honesty, do you really want to disappoint a little six year old girl?"

Kate laughed and shook her head, "You're impossible. You know that Castle?"

He gave her a big smile and then told her, "So I've been told. More than once."

"I don't even want to know."

He walked her to the door and she said, "Let me pack my things and I'll be right out."

"You know I can help you. Right?"

"And I'm a big girl. Look Castle, I've agreed to stay at your place. Don't push it."

He held up his hands in front of him, "I'll stay right here. I promise."

Before she could say anything else however, she heard a phone ring from inside. She ran to get it and didn't realize that she left the door open and Castle could see inside. He could see the absence of furniture. He walked inside and heard her arguing. Apparently with Josh.

"I'll sign the divorce papers and get them to your lawyer tomorrow."

She sighed, "You know I can't afford to buy your half of the house. The realtor can come by anytime. I don't really care Josh. I just want to get on with my life. And get over you."

Shaking her head, "Fine. Goodbye Josh."

She laid her head up against the wall and sighed. Then she heard, "What happened to all your furniture?"

"Castle... I asked you to wait outside."

"Like that has ever worked before."

"No it hasn't. I should have learned my lesson a long time ago."

"So, where is all your furniture?"

She shook her head and the tears fell. She finally managed, "Josh took everything when he left."

"Everything?"

She laughed, "Yeah. He even took the bed. Not that I would have wanted it."

Castle took her in his arms and held her lightly. Careful not to hurt her arm. He kissed the top of her head and whispered, "Oh Kate. Believe it or not, I know how you feel. I felt the same way when Meredith left. She might have given birth to Alexis, but she hasn't been there. Not really. I've been taking care of her since she was a tiny baby."

She laid her head on his chest. It felt good to have someone to lean on. Someone that seemed to understand what she was dealing with.

He walked her back out to the car and told her, "You stay here. I'll get your clothes and then we will go home."

She smiled at him, "Thanks Castle."

Castle shot her a smile, "Always."

After awhile, Kate saw Castle leave her place with practically every piece of clothing that she owned. She smiled and he struggled with getting the door open. She smiled, "Having trouble there Castle?"

"Nope. You just have a lot of stuff. How can a woman have so many clothes?"

She laughed, "Just wait until Alexis gets to be a teenager."

Castle gasped, "She's only six!"

Kate laughed, "It's only a matter of time Castle."

"You're mean."

"I'm realistic. Teenage girls are a special breed."

Castle put his hand over her ears, "La la la la... I don't wanna hear this."

Kate laughed and decided that it felt good. It felt good to laugh with him. She'd had very little to laugh about in the last few months. She decided to tease him a bit more, "Just wait until you have to buy her first bra. Talk about shocking."

Castle shot her a look, "Stop it! She's only six. I have at least ten years."

"It's more like six or seven."

She laughed at the look on his face. It was a mix of horror and shock. He finally whispered, "I think I'm going to be sick."

She laughed, "Don't worry Castle. When the time comes I'm sure you will find someone to take her."

He looked over at her and thought to himself, "_**I want it to be you.**_.." Instead he said, "Possibly."

She smiled and closed her eyes. She was tired from the drive and from the emotions of the day. She opened one eye and said, "Lets go home."

Castle smiled and started the car. He already loved Kate and he knew that he would love the baby that she carried. If she could only teach her to trust her emotions and open her heart to love again. He wanted to be there for everything and he would prove to her that she could count on him to be there and not walk away like Josh had. He would worm his way into their lives and into her heart. Because in the end, she would need to take a chance on love again. He wanted to be a father to the baby she carried and a husband to Kate. If she would let him that is.

He would start with baby steps. He would prove that he was in it for the long haul. And he would start by making sure that she knew how much he loved her and how much both her and Alexis needed her in their lives.

When Kate and Castle walked into the loft that night, she was immediately tackled by Alexis, "Kate! You came home with daddy! I didn't think you would, but you did!"

Kate put her hand on Alexis' head and smiled at Castle. She shook her head, "Yeah. Your daddy threatened me if I didn't."

Alexis turned to her father, turned her head to the side and told him, "Daddy... That wasn't nice."

"I didn't twist her arm." When she heard Kate clearing her throat, he whispered, "Much."

Kate laughed and smiled at her partner. Then Castle told his daughter, "Okay my darling daughter. Can you show Kate to her room please?"

Alexis nodded and said, "It's upstairs. It's right next to my room. So if you get scared or need anything I can be right there to help. Okay?"

Kate laughed, "Okay..."

Castle just smiled at the exchange between Kate and Alexis. Seeing his two favorite girls together melted his heart and made him smile. Alexis led her upstairs chattering the entire way.

Walking into the kitchen, Castle smiled and whistled happily as he made dinner for them.

When Alexis came downstairs, she smiled and told her father, "Kate is taking a nap before dinner. I told her that I would wake her up when it's ready. What are we having daddy?"

"How about baked macaroni and cheese, hot dogs and green beans."

Alexis made a face at the last part and asked, "Can we have peas instead? I don't like green beans..."

He smiled at his daughter, "Fine. We will have peas."

"Yay! Thank you daddy!"

Castle simply shook his head. He knew that his daughter had him wrapped around her little finger and he knew that the same thing would happen with Kate's baby.

Kate laid down on the bed in Castle's guestroom and thought about how her life had changed in the span of a few days. She'd come to realize that she never loved Josh. Laying her hand on her stomach she found herself smiling and she realized that she loved this baby already. She wanted this baby. Most surprisingly of all, she found herself wanting this baby to have a father like Castle. Maybe having him involved in their lives wouldn't be such a bad thing. She still wondered if the baby deserved to know it's father, but having Castle as a father wouldn't be a bad thing. He had done a wonderful job with Alexis. She was a smart, funny little girl and Kate found herself falling in love with her. But she wondered if it was fair to Castle. She decided that she was overthinking things again. She decided that maybe she needed to start thinking with her heart instead of her head.

She realized that she loved Castle as more than just a friend, but could she open herself up to heartbreak again. She knew that they could be something wonderful. She would take it day by day and see what happened. Maybe they could be something great and she knew that Castle already loved her. She felt herself smile and decided that maybe he was worth taking the risk for...


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N- I know that some of my reviewers don't like how angsty some of the chapters have been, but it's a necessary part of the story. Kate's still healing and even though she loves Castle, it wouldn't be right for her to run straight to Castle after the bad relationship she's had with Josh. Her heart is still healing and with the help of Castle and Alexis she will learn to take chances on love again.**_

_**Thanks for sticking with me and the angst is pretty much done. There will still be some, but not as much now...Thanks again for the reviews...**_

That night, after Alexis had gone to bed, Castle and Kate sat up and talked. Mostly they talked about the baby. Castle sat across from her, took her hand and whispered, "I want to be involved in everything when it comes to the baby. I know you find it hard to believe, but I know what it's like not to have a father. It's tough growing up without one..."

"I can do it myself Castle, I..."

"I know you can, but raising a baby is hard work. Trust me, I've been there."

"You've done a good job with Alexis. She's a great kid."

Castle laughed, "She makes it easy and she keeps me on my toes. She's an old soul."

"Why would you want to raise another man's child Castle?"

He decided that he was going to be completely honest with her. So, he said, "Because I'm already crazy about her mother."

"Her?"

"Alexis is convinced that the baby is going to be a girl. I've tried telling her that it's a fifty-fifty chance either way, but she's stubborn."

Kate laughed, "I wonder where she gets that from."

"I know right. I'm not stubborn. Not in the least. She gets that from my mother obviously."

Kate rolled her eyes and took his hand in hers. She looked into his eyes and told him, "I'm not going to deny that I have feelings for you Castle. I've had feelings for you for a long time. Maybe even before Josh."

Castle looked at her in shock. Then he asked, "Why?"

She knew why he was asking why, "Because you are such a good man."

"And you don't deserve a good man?"

She shook her head, "You had just gotten divorced from Meredith and I didn't want to be your rebound relationship. And Josh swept me off of my feet. It was a whirlwind romance and before I knew it we were engaged. Remember the night I told you?"

Castle nodded, "It was the worst night of my life."

"I wanted you to give me a reason not to marry him. Wanted you to give me some sign that we could have a future together."

"But all I did was kiss your cheek and wish you luck."

"You remember..."

"Of course I remember. I remember everything about that night. I replayed that night over and over again in my mind a million times. It was awful watching you walk away from me. Even worse knowing that I would never get to tell you how I felt about you."

"How do you feel about me Castle? If I wasn't pregnant would we be sitting here in your living room having this discussion?"

Castle sighed, "Probably not. Because you would still be with Josh and I would never want to be the cause of wrecking another marriage."

She knew that was true. He's had the same thing done to him and he knew the kind of pain that could cause. Looking into his eyes, she made an important decision. She nodded and leaned forward and kissed his cheek ever so softly and whispered, "You are a good man Richard Castle."

"I'm just going to say this. I love you and have loved you for so long. I want to be a father to your baby and..."

"And?"

"And once your divorce is final, I would like the chance to love you. To build a life with you and your child."

She'd known him long enough to know that he was being truthful to her. It still amazed her that this man was willing to be the father of her baby when it's own father turned it's back on her. She finally nodded and whispered, "He broke my heart Castle..."

Castle nodded, "I know. Let me help rebuild your heart. Teach you that not all men are like him. Some men, namely me, can be stand up guys."

She smiled at him, "This is important to you. Isn't it?"

Nodding he whispered, "The most important thing I've done in a long, long time."

Looking into his eyes she saw nothing but the truth shining in her eyes. She finally asked, "What if you decide that after the baby's born you want out?"

"Not going to happen. I'm in this for the long haul."

"How can you know? This baby is half Josh's and..."

Castle shrugged and told her, "It's not your child's fault. That baby is innocent. I want to be there for everything Kate."

She looked down at their joined hands and took a deep breath. She finally told him, "Fine."

"Fine?"

"I will let you be there for everything during the pregnancy, but after the baby's born I want Josh to be able to see him or her and let him have one final chance. To deny or accept the baby. I don't love him anymore, but I want to make sure he knows what he's throwing away..."

Castle didn't think that it was right, but he would agree to it Because she held all the cards and he needed to let her know that she was, ultimately the one that made the decisions. So, he said, "I can live with that."

"Fine. Because you really don't have any other choice." Then she swallowed and told him, "I have an appointment with my obstetrician tomorrow. I don't think they are going to do anything important, but..."

"I'm there."

She saw a sparkle in his eyes and she shook her head and smiled at him. This man was nothing short of amazing. He was willing to be there for a baby that wasn't his. If she hadn't already loved him, she would have fallen in love with him simply for that. She stood up and told him, "It's at nine in the morning."

"I'll make us breakfast. Pancakes okay?"

Kate smiled and nodded, "Sounds perfect."

Castle stood up and whispered, "Goodnight Kate."

Before he could chicken out, he gave her a brief, soft kiss. A kiss that left them both breathless and wanting more. A kiss that spoke more than words ever could. A kiss that spoke of a bright and beautiful future for both of them.

When Kate woke the following morning, it was to the smell of pancakes and the sound of something crashing in the kitchen downstairs. After she dressed, she walked downstairs and saw Alexis shaking her head and Castle was cleaning up what looked to be pieces of plates scattered on the floor.

She laughed at the sight and asked, "What happened?"

Castle and Alexis both turned and said, "Kate!"

She laughed at them, "That's just scary..."

Alexis pointed at Castle and said, "Daddy tried to juggle some plates. And he broke them."

Kate smirked and shook her head. She started for the refrigerator, but Castle stopped her, "Let me sweep first. I don't want either of you girls walking on the floor. You could get some of the pieces stuck in your foot."

Alexis rolled her eyes at her father, "Well if you hadn't been acting silly daddy, then it never would have happened..."

Castle looked at his daughter and he heard Kate laugh softly. Looking at the two girls he loved more than anything in the world, he shook his head and said, "I hope the baby is a boy. There's entirely too much ganging up on your poor old daddy."

Kate smiled and told Castle, "I don't think your poor Castle."

He looked at her, smiled and said, "Funny. You're a regular comedian. Just for that I should make you cook breakfast."

Alexis looked horrified and Kate smiled, "I could do it and without breaking three plates in the process."

"Yeah daddy..."

He looked at them and shook his head smiling. He finished sweeping the floor and then turned to pick up the spatula. He finished making the pancakes and took the bacon out of the oven. Then, he poured them all glasses of orange juice. Kate took a bite of the bacon and closed her eyes. It was heavenly. She smiled at him and said, "Thank you."

"For what?"

Kate whispered, "For being you..."

Castle felt a lump in his throat. He could see that he was making quite the impression on her. He was determined not to let her go this time. He'd let her slip away once and he'd learned his lesson. In the most painful way. He watched her love another man and it nearly killed him. This was his chance to show her how great they could be together and he wasn't going to screw it up. He was going to be the man that she needed. Loving Kate was easy. It just came naturally to him. He knew what a wonderful gift he'd been given. The chance at a future with Kate. Nothing could be better to him.

He hadn't been paying attention and he felt something hit him in the head. He looked at say a balled up napkin sitting near his plate. He looked at the two other occupants of the room and they both had innocent looks on their faces. Too innocent.

He smiled and asked, "Who threw this?"

They both shrugged and Kate smiled, "We aren't telling. Are we Alexis?"

Alexis smiled and giggled, "Nope."

Castle loved the sound of his daughter's laughter. So, he stood up and said, "I can't get Kate to rat out the napkin thrower, but I know my daughter's weakness." He wiggled his fingers and walked closer to his little girl. She shrieked and jumped out of her chair. Giggling and saying, "No daddy!"

Castle laughed manically and chased after her. Kate knew the exact moment when Castle caught her because the little girls laughter increased in pitch and duration. It was music to Kate's ears and she knew in that moment, that her baby was incredibly lucky to have Alexis and Castle in it's life. To be born into the family with this much love and laughter. It was something she hadn't expected, but was glad to have found. Something that she would need even more in the coming months. It made her fall in love with Castle just a little bit more. If that was even possible.

She finished her breakfast and walked upstairs to get ready for her doctor's appointment. The sound of Alexis laughing filled the loft and her heart with joy and hope for the future...


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N- A little bit of Kate's memories on meeting and marrying Josh. Also a little explanation as to why Josh acted like he did. Of course, it's all made up so definitely a little bit of creative liberty here. Thank you for all the reviews and favorites. They mean the world to me... **_

Kate replayed the events of the doctor's visit that night and couldn't stop the smile that seemed to be permanently attached to her face. She smiled when she smiled during her visit that day. She hadn't expected anything out of the ordinary during the visit. However, because of her accident, Doctor Taylor wanted to perform an ultrasound.

When the nurse wheeled the machine into the room, she laid down on the exam table. Castle took her hand and she smiled at him.

When the doctor turned on the ultrasound machine the room got very quiet. Then, the doctor asked, "Would you like to see your baby?"

Kate could only nod and watched as the doctor turned the machine around. She heard Castle gasp and he squeezed her hand tightly. She looked over at him and he was wiping his eyes with his free hand. She turned back to the screen and smiled when she saw the baby moving.

She was disappointed when the doctor turned off the machine and the screen went dark. Castle leaned down and kissed her so very softly and whispered, "Thank you."

Kate could only nod. He helped her up and then she kissed him again. Then she told him, "Thank you for being here."

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world."

Looking into his eyes in the exam room, Kate could tell that he was being completely honest with her. The love she saw in his eyes had never been more apparent to her. It took her breath away and made her love him that much more.

The doctor handed her a few pictures and told Kate that he wanted to see her in a month. When she got out to Castle's car, she looked at the ultrasound pictures and took a deep breath. Then, Kate turned to him, handed him a picture and said, "For you."

Castle swallowed the lump in his throat and swallowed hard, "Thank you..."

Kate could only nod and smile at him.

Sitting in bed, she looked at the tiny baby in the picture. Her baby... She heard a knock on the door and she called out, "Come in!"

She saw Castle peeking his head in and he asked, "Can I come in?"

Smiling, she said, "Of course."

He saw the ultrasound pictures on her bed and he smiled, "You can't stop looking at the baby either."

Shaking her head, she whispered, "No. He's so tiny. Beautiful."

"You want a boy?"

She shrugged her shoulders and said, "I don't care either way, but I don't want to call the baby it."

He knew what she meant. He couldn't stop thinking about this tiny little person that she carried inside her. Before he saw the ultrasound today, he had been in love with the baby, but seeing it on the screen and hearing the baby's heartbeat had only magnified those feelings. He was even more in love with this baby. It suddenly became very real.

"Alexis is calling the baby peanut."

Kate smiled, "You showed her the pictures?"

Nodding, Castle said, "She saw me putting it in a picture frame."

Her heart skipped a beat when he said that. He was so very invested in this relationship. She was seeing that now. She could see how much he loved this baby. She whispered, "Thank you."

Castle smiled and asked, "For what?"

"For being here for us."

He smiled, "Always."

Then he leaned forward and kissed her softly. He smiled and asked, "I want to..."

She smiled, "What?"

"Lay down..."

She looked at him and then did as he asked. She closed her eyes and then felt his hands roaming over her body. She then felt him raising her shirt. Then, she felt him place a feather light kiss on her stomach. Then he whispered, "I love you little one. You are such a lucky baby. You have the most wonderful mommy in the whole world. I'm going to try and be the best daddy I can be."

Kate felt tears pricking at her eyes. She let her hand run through his hair and then she felt him lower her shirt. He stood up and leaned down to kiss her softly. She put her good hand on his cheek and whispered, "You are such a wonderful human being Richard Castle..."

All Castle could do was nod and then whisper, "Good night Kate."

"Night Castle."

She watched as he closed the door and then she squealed like a teenage girl. How she wished that she could have turned back time and done things differently. She would have changed so many things. Kate remembered back to her time with Josh. When she first met him, she had been looking for love and thought she had found it in him. She wished that she had known the heartbreak that was waiting for her.

_**Flashback**_

_They were introduced by one of Kate's roommates from college. Rebecca had told her that Josh was perfect for her. Handsome, rich and very successful. The perfect combination._

_When Kate saw him, she couldn't have agreed more. He took her out to fancy dinners and showered her with expensive gifts. He'd asked her to marry him after knowing each other for only a few months. She'd had doubts about marrying him. _

_So, she went to talk to Castle. Hoping that he would give her some sort of sign that he wanted her to say no. To tell her that he loved her. That he thought they could have a future together. All he had done was wish her luck and kiss her cheek. It had devastated her., but she accepted Josh's proposal the next day._

_After that, their working relationship had been somewhat strained. They fought more. They were as in sync as they had been before. There was an undercurrent of tension in their relationship._

_The night Kate got married, Castle showed up at the wedding. He hadn't smiled. He had simply attended the wedding. Then, while the rest of their friends attended the reception, Castle had left. She wondered where he had gone to, but had never asked him._

_Before the wedding, Josh had been open to the idea of maybe having kids one day. She wasn't sure exactly when that changed, but one day, Josh came home and announced that he was never going to have children. Kate had asked him what was wrong, but he refused to answer. Refused to discuss the subject any further._

_After that, she noticed little changes in Josh's attitude towards children. When they would go out to a restaurant and a baby would cry, he would get a look on his face and would mutter under his breath. She'd heard it once and he was asking why someone couldn't shut that kid up._

_The change in his attitude confused her. Until she showed up at his office one day. When she talked to his nurse, they told her that he was no longer taking children for patients. That the practice was going to adults only. When Kate had asked why, the nurse told her, "He lost a patient and it killed him."_

_She tried to talk to him that night, but he refused. Saying that there was nothing to talk about. That they were never going to have children and that was the end of the discussion._

_Shortly afterwards, she found out that she was pregnant. Maybe if she had gotten pregnant before Josh lost his patient he wouldn't have gotten so upset at her pregnancy. She would never now..._

_**Flashback Ends **_

Kate wiped at a tear and wondered how different her life would be if she would never have married Josh. If she could have done it over, she wouldn't have married him. She was at a desperate time in her life when she met him. She'd decided that she could settle for him. If only to have someone to come home to at night. Someone to have things to do with on holidays. She had been so wrong to use him like that. She knew that now. If only she could go back and change things.

Although she wasn't sure how much she would change things. Because this baby was bringing her and Castle closer together and she found that she really liked it.

Over the next few weeks, they grew even closer to each other. Castle would come into the bedroom to say goodnight to her every night. He would lean down and kiss her stomach, telling the baby goodnight, before he kissed her.

There had been times when she wanted to take it to the next level, but whenever she had tried, he would tell her that they needed to wait until she was divorced and free to love him fully. She understood, but it frustrated her to no end. Her divorce would be final the week she got her cast off. It seemed as if her life was finally falling into place.

She was nearly 18 weeks pregnant when the cast came off of her arm. Over the past few days, she had felt the baby moving. At first, it had felt like gas bubbles moving around inside her, but when it didn't stop, she realized what it was. It was proof that her baby was growing and healthy. She'd called Castle into the bedroom and smiled at the look on his face. He'd leaned over and kissed her and then whispered, "I wish I could feel it. I wish I could feel our baby move."

Kate had gasped and looked into his eyes. Then she whispered, "I love you. So very, very much. You are a wonderful and remarkable man Richard Castle. To love a baby that isn't biologically yours. You are an extraordinary man."

Then she kissed him harder and he whispered, "I wish this baby was mine."

Kate whispered, "This baby is yours in every way that counts. In every way that matters."

They kissed again then Castle whispered, "Good night Kate."

Kate went to bed that night extremely frustrated, but happier than she had been in a long, long time. Part of her wished that he would take her to bed, but another part was glad that he was an honorable and good man. She had a hard time getting to sleep. She was too excited about her divorce being finalized the next day. Six weeks ago she had been devastated at the thought of a divorce. Now, she was able to look at a divorce as a good thing. A chance to start her life over with a man that she loved. A man that loved a baby that wasn't his. That meant everything to her and she loved him even more for that...


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N- Some of you guessed correctly about Josh, but it won't happen in this chapter. It will be at a later date. This chapter might be a very, very light M at the beginning, but nothing too bad. It will be more M in later chapters though...**_

The night before her divorce was final things started heating up between Kate and Castle. She was standing in the guestroom looking out the window. Castle walked into the room to say goodnight. However, seeing Kate standing there in the moonlight, it took his breath away. She was absolutely stunning. She had her hands on her stomach and Castle was dying to touch her. To slide up behind her and kiss her neck. He closed his eyes and imagined kissing her senseless.

He froze when he heard her say, "Are you going to stand there all night or are you going to come over here?"

Castle said nothing. He simply moved over to where she was standing and stood behind her. He let his hands rest on her stomach and he whispered in her ear, "Do you have any idea how damn beautiful you are?"

Kate closed her eyes and turned her head to the side. God...the things he was doing to her. The feelings he was bringing out in her were driving her absolutely insane. When he found her pulse point and sucked on it lightly, she couldn't stop the moan that escaped her lips, "Ohhhh...God...Rick..."

When he reached down and cupped her stomach with his hands, she felt something ripple through her. She shivered and turned her head to meet his lips in a kiss. It was a kiss of hunger and love. Desperation and longing. Years of pent up emotions came out in that kiss. His hand went under her top and rubbed her stomach softly. He broke the kiss and panted out, "I know I shouldn't, but God I want you. So, so bad..."

She cupped the back of his neck and brought him down for another kiss and whispered, "Then, what are you waiting for?"

Castle knew that it would be so easy to make love to her. He'd been wanting to for years. He'd dreamed about it. It had gotten worse in the last few weeks. Ever since he'd been allowed to touch her. Watching her stomach grow bigger had been an amazing thing to see. Now, being allowed to kiss her like this, was like a dream come true.

His lips brushed hers and he whispered, "Can't...I..."

Kate rubbed her bottom against him and she smiled when he moaned softly. Ever since she'd entered her second trimester of pregnancy, she'd been, in a word, horny. And she'd had incredibly erotic dreams and the subject of those dreams was currently standing behind her doing incredible things to her body. Making her feel things that she was sure she had never felt before with another man. Her body responded to him in ways that it never had with Josh.

She heard him pant and felt him move away from her. She turned around and put her arms around his neck. She pulled him closed and then she whispered, "Take me to bed Rick... Please?"

Castle let his lips linger on hers for a bit and then he whispered, "I can't Kate..."

Kate let out a frustrated sigh and pulled away from him. He could tell that she was upset and when she laid down on the bed, she told him, "Well then I guess that settles that..."

She had turned away from him, but he put his hand on her back and she pulled away from him. He finally asked, "What's wrong?"

She laughed harshly and said, "What does it matter? I'm getting bigger and obviously it's disgusting you."

He shook his head and turned her around. He saw that she had been crying and he could have kicked himself. She thought that he didn't want her. When nothing could be further than the truth. He whispered, "I think you are the most gorgeous woman in the world. Everything about you drives me crazy."

She looked into his eyes and asked, "Then why?"

"Why won't I take you to bed? Why won't I make love to you all night long?"

She closed her eyes and shivered at his words. She had always loved his voice. Loved how he had a way of making the simplest of things sound like the worlds best love poem. She simply nodded and he leaned down close to her lips and whispered, "Because. The first time we make love, I want you to be free to love me."

"I do love you Castle. I..."

He shook his head and then whispered, "I want you to be free to give me your heart. I don't want there to be any more barriers between us. I want to make love to you as a single woman..."

"A divorced woman..."

"Not your fault." He kissed her softly on the lips. Soon, the kiss deepened and he whispered, "Do you have any idea how hard it is going to be to walk away from you tonight? I want to spend the entire night with you. Even if it's just holding you."

She turned her head and kissed him again. Then she whispered, "Stay the night with me. Please?"

He smiled, "Okay. But I'm sleeping with my clothes on. And God... Your nightgown is absolutely sinful." He nibbled on her neck and she moaned. This was going to be the longest night of his life. She finally fell asleep with Castle holding her tightly.

When Kate woke the following morning, she couldn't stop the smile that crept to her face. Last night,she had slept better than she had in weeks. She had felt so safe in his arms. Safer than she ever had before. She turned and kissed him awake. When he deepened the kiss, she smiled and whispered, "Good morning."

"Mmm... I can get used to you waking me up like that."

She smiled and climbed out of bed. Smiling when Castle said, "Can't we just spend the entire day in bed?"

She turned and said, "We could, but then we would miss my divorce hearing. I'll just have to stay married to Josh forever."

That got him to jump out of bed and he said, "Breakfast and then I'll get Alexis off to school and I will call a car to take us to the courthouse."

He practically ran over to her and gave her a quick kiss. She smiled and shook her head as she hurried to get dressed. As weird as it might have sounded,she couldn't wait until the divorce was final. She never would have said that at the beginning of this whole nightmare. Then, she had felt as if her life was ending. Now, she was looking forward to spending a lifetime with Castle and raising a houseful of children.

At that thought, she bit her bottom lip. Would he want more children? Or would this baby be the last for them?

She shook her head and smiled. After she dressed, she walked into the kitchen and bent down and kissed Alexis on the head. She looked up at Kate and smiled, "Morning Kate."

"Morning sweetpea. Did you sleep well last night?"

Alexis nodded and smiled again. Kate looked at Castle and smiled. She was so in love with this man. Just six months ago, she would have denied it, but now, she wouldn't have been able to deny the way she felt about him. She was sure people could tell just by looking at her.

After they walked Alexis to school, Castle and Kate climbed into the car. Kate never would have admitted it, but she was extremely nervous. Sitting in the courtroom that day, she looked straight ahead. She didn't spare a look a Josh. She simply listened to the lawyers speaking. Josh was signing over all right and responsibilities to the baby. He wanted no legal or financial responsibility to the baby. Also, the baby was not to be given his last name.

The judge looked at Josh's lawyer and asked, "Is the paternity of the baby in question?"

Kate watched as his lawyer swallowed and said, "No, your Honor. Mister Davidson simply wants nothing to do with the baby."

"That is highly unusual."

"Yes your Honor. But my client is determined to put all of this behind him. He simply wants out of the marriage. No spousal support or child support."

The judge looked at Kate's lawyer and asked, "And is Ms. Beckett okay with these demands?"

Her attorney stood and nodded, "She is your Honor."

The judge put his hands together and looked at the people gathered before him. He finally nodded and said, "While this is highly unusual, I will grant this divorce on the grounds or irreconcilable differences."

With that, the judge banged his gavel and the case was over. In less time that it took to have lunch, her marriage was over. Even though she knew this day was coming, it was still hard hearing it. Hard to admit that she had failed in her marriage. She sat there until she felt a hand on her shoulder. Without looking, she knew that it was Castle. She let him cup her cheek and he bent down to kiss her head. Then, he whispered, "Lets go home."

She nodded and he helped her up. She took his hand and let him lead her out of the courthouse and home to help mend her broken heart...


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N- This chapter is quite long. And we are travelling into the M-Rated portion of the story. It's the first time venturing into this territory and well...I hope it's not too bad... Definitely M Rated so be warned!**_

Castle couldn't help but kiss her during the entire ride home. He was finally free to love her again and she was accepting of that love. He cupped her chin with his fingers and drew her face closer as he leaned down, pulling her to him. She was powerless to resist him, even if she had wanted to. Castle's eyes stayed on hers, searching for the emotions that were surging through her, wondering if she could see the desire and hope in his eyes. The moment their lips met was more beautiful than any other moment in his life. With the exception of the day that Alexis was born.

He kissed her softly and cupped her stomach. Afraid of all the emotions running through him. Today had been a whirlwind day. Both emotionally and physically. He loved her and he already loved this baby that she carried. He let his thumbs gently caress her stomach and then whispered, "I was so scared of losing this. Losing you..."

Kate was confused and turned around to look into his eyes. She asked softly, "What are you talking about?"

Castle sighed and whispered, "I was afraid that Josh was going to back out of the divorce. Afraid that he was going to ask you to go back to him. I don't think I would have been able to let you go again. Not when there is so much to lose. Not with you pregnant with your baby..."

Kate shook her head and took his hand and guided it to her stomach. Then she whispered, with so much emotion in her voice, "No... It's not my baby. It's our baby... If you love me and are willing to accept this baby as your own..." Kate took a deep breath and continued, "Then I am willing to let you love us both."

Castle simply stared at her and smiled.

They kissed again and she whispered, "I need to take a bath. Meet me in the bedroom?"

Castle smiled and nodded. Then she turned around and asked, "Alexis?"

"Mother has her for the night. They are going to have a girls night in. Then, she's going to take her to school in the morning."

Kate laughed and then she was horrified, "Your mother knows about us? Is she okay with it?"

Castle laughed, "She's been wanting us to get together for years. For some reason, she thinks we belong together. She thinks you're good for me."

Kate smiled brightly at him and whispered, "I doubt that. I hurt you and I don't think she ever forgave me for not giving you a chance. I know I don't think I will ever be able to forgive myself. When I think about all the time we lost Castle. I..."

"Don't. Don't think about the past. All that matters is that we are here now. Together. And not being able to love you, even in my dreams, nearly killed me."

She nodded, put her hand on his cheek and whispered, "I'm sorry. So very sorry Castle. If I could go back and change it I..."

"I wouldn't change a thing. Because every road we took back then has led us to this moment.

Kate walked into the bathroom and took her clothes off. She'd never felt completely comfortable in her body before. Like all women, there were things that she wanted to change. She'd always thought that her eyes were too close together. Her teeth could be a bit straighter. However, when she was with Castle, she had never felt more beautiful. He always made her feel like she was the most beautiful woman in the world. At least she was to him.

Staring in the mirror, Kate slowly, opened her big brown eyes. She smiled when she looked up into his beautiful blue eyes reflected in the mirror. The beginnings of a small smile turning up just the corners of his mouth and his eyes closed slightly, causing the tiny laugh lines to crinkle in the corners giving him that ruggedly handsome look that she loves. And that he seems to love to remind her about every time they are teasing each other about their looks.

His right hand softly caresses her shoulder. Back and forth, back and forth, taking the strap of her bra with his hand each time, until the strap is slowly lowered down her arm until her right breast is completely visible to his admiring gaze. Her eyes never leave his. She watches as his eyelashes rest almost on his cheek as he gazes down at her naked breast. Kate's nipple puckers just from the contact of his eyes. Because other than his gaze, he has not even touched her there yet. Kate's nipple puckers, reaching out to him begging him for more attention as he gently slides his warm hand across her left shoulder to drop the other strap.

Once the satiny bra falls past Kate's hardened nipple, it slides silently into her lap allowing both of her breasts to fall free and unveiled in the soft sensuous light. He raises his eyes slowly to meet hers. His large hands reach down to lightly pinch her nipples, one at a time and Kate gasps softly. The sound is just a hiss that is barely able to be heard in the darkened room. Kate feels a raw ache low in her stomach, as a moist warmth begins to dampen the soft material in the center of her panties. She sighs and whispers, "Oh Rick..."

His hands leave her nipples and press against her heated skin to softly slide down her rounded tummy and down to her lap. He rubs his hands against her stomach. Almost as if he were trying to ease away the ache he knows is there, but instead, he only increases it. He leans over to touch her again and Kate can feel the rough material of his clothes scratching her naked back. It should feel strange, but it feels incredibly arousing. His distinctive cologne hits her nose and makes her shiver. He holds Kate against him for just a few minutes longer before he places his hand under her right elbow to show her that he wants her to get up and follow him.

His hands slide smoothly down her arms as he holds her away from his body so he can just look at her. She sees him swallow and then he whispers, "So damn beautiful."

His heated gaze begins at the top of her head and lowers until his eyes meet hers. Continuing, they stop for just a second at her quivering lips noticing that they are slightly parted to allow her shallow gasps of breath to escape through them. His eyes lovingly stop at her full breasts. He whispers softly again,"They've gotten bigger."

She smiles and says, "You've been checking out my assets Mister Castle?"

He laughs at her and whispers, "Always. Because you have some mighty fine assets. If I do say so myself."

His hands quickly drop down to her rounded stomach. Relishing the feel of her naked skin under his hands. Kate is nearly hypnotized by the feeling of his hands on her body.

Kate shivers with arousal and she closes her eyes. That is when she realizes that she just had a small orgasm. Since she's been pregnant, every sense in her body was heightened. Lately, her arousal was through the roof.

When Kate finally opens her eyes she sees him looking at her with a cocky grin. The grin that she hated when they first met, but now fills her with love and hope.. At that very moment, his eyes silently tell her that he knows what just happened. Crossing his arms, he stands looking at her for few minutes longer, making her body tremble yet again.

He whispers, his voice deep and strong, "Slip out of your panties. Take them off Kate. I want to see you. All of you."

Without any hesitation, she does as he asks. She feels very vulnerable but at the same time she feels excited standing there completely naked in front of him. Especially since he is still fully clothed. Tenderly, he opens his arms for her and she quickly step into their warmth, feeling his comforting protection. She thinks about how he smells so good and how he makes her feel so safe and warm. The roughness of his clothes rubbing coarsely on her naked body stimulates her even more. She looks into his eyes and whispers, "You make me feel so loved. So cherished. I don't think I've ever felt like this before."

Castle smiles, "I always want to make you feel that way Kate."

Pulling her with him, Castle sits on the edge of his bed. Carefully, he places her on his lap. She is suddenly very aware of the wetness that is slowly seeping from between her legs and is now moistening his pant leg. She blushes with the knowledge that he to is very aware of what is happening to her. All because of her feelings for him. Feelings that she kept buried for far too long.

He places his hand under her chin and he turns her face to his and they look deep into each others eyes. Then, he kisses her again for at least the hundredth time that night. It is a soft, but deep and probing kiss and she closes her eyes first. Kate hears soft moans escaping her lips, but the tiny sounds are lost in his open mouth as it still presses against hers.

Without taking his lips away, his hand leaves her chin to trace a line down her slender neck, stopping for a moment at the pulse point to feel her racing heartbeat. Then he asks, "Are you nervous Kate?"

Kate shakes her head and whispers softly, "Not nervous, just very aroused."

Castle just smiles. His hand moves on to her soft shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze. Wasting no more time, he touches her breast. He pinches her nipples softly between his thumb and forefinger. Kate moans loudly and pulls away from the kiss and calls out, "Ohhhhh... God..."

Castle sees the look in her eyes and asked, "Are you okay?"

She nods and whispers, "I'm more than okay."

He kisses her again deeply. Kate's tongue pushes out to greet his at that exact moment, telling him what he wants to know.

The kiss stops abruptly, and just as quickly his hand leaves her breast. Suddenly, she feels cold and empty. Missing his kiss and the passion that filled her. Placing his hands firmly on her arms, he gently forces her to rise. Kate looks down at his pants where she was sitting and she sees the wet spot she has left. He looks at the spot also before raising his eyes to look deep into hers. Watching her blush, he just smiles tenderly at her. Then he whispers, "Excited?"

Kate can only whisper softly, "Yes. A little..."

Castle laughs, "Only a little?"

Kate smiles brightly, but says nothing. Castle bends to gently lift her naked body up into his strong and loving arms, carrying her to the side of his bed where he delicately lays her down and she sinks into the soft comforter. Kate rests her head on the pillow and looks up at him. Castle takes off his jacket and tie and discards them into a pile on the floor. Both of them are very impatient now.

Kate's gaze pierces him as the rest of his clothing just seems to melt away. When Castle kneels on the bed, he causes the side of the bed to lower as he slips over her body to lie next to her. Kate looks over at him and shivers when she sees him completely naked. He looks so powerful and virile.

Lying on his side, he faces Kate, pulling her body towards him. They lay there for the longest time just staring at each other as if they were trying to memorize each others features so that they could be remembered long after this moment is gone. They don't speak a word. The only thing that can be heard in the quiet room is their breathing and Kate is sure that he can hear her heart pounding. Castle rises up to give her a tender kiss.

With his hand on her shoulder, Castle gently pushes her back and she doesn't resist. Suddenly, he is above her, placing soft little kisses on her face, on her neck and on the soft undersides of her arms. Kate loves his kisses. Especially the sweet one he places in the palm of her hand. She quickly curls her fingers tightly to hold on.

He deliberately misses her breasts and lowers his lips to pepper her stomach with a mixture of kisses and licks, seemingly tasting her. Further down her body, his mouth travels slowly until he reaches her mound. Pressing his face into her, he kisses the soft curls that he finds there.

Slipping his hands between her legs, he gently presses against the insides of her thighs silently asking her to open herself to him. And she does so willingly.

Castle sits back on his knees and he admires her beautiful opening that has been hidden from his gaze until now. Lowering his head to her, Castle inhales deeply. Slowly, raising his head with his eyes closed, he holds his breath deep. Savoring the scent of her. The tell tale sign that she is ready for him.

His lips softly touch the inside of her thighs. Carefully he dodges the area where she wants him to touch her the most. Teasing her, he kisses her body everywhere, but he continues to avoid kissing the place she needs it the most. The spot that her silent pleas keep begging him to touch. It feels as if her body is burning with the tremendous need for him. Kate raises her hips to try to meet his moving face, but he is always careful to only let his breath brush her there.

Kate closes her eyes just as he moves up her body to quickly take one of her hardened nipples into his mouth. He is not gentle and he sucks it hard offering tiny little bites that send sparks right to her core. He is careful not to forget to offer the same attention to her other nipple.

Kate can feel the tears stinging behind her closed eyelids as she moans, "Please Rick... I need more... I..."

She begs him release her pent up frustration.

Finally, listening to her moans, he slips down from her tender breasts and he instantly presses his tongue long and hard against her. She moans loudly telling him that is exactly what she wants him to do, "Oh God Rick..."

The tip of his wet tongue flicks at her clit. She screams from the intense feelings he is causing to roll through her, "Oh Rick!"

Her head flips rapidly from side to side and gentle mewling sounds escape through her parched lips. Her hands opening and closing, continuously grasping at the bed-sheets while her body shudders with pleasure. Lights explode behind her closed eyes and the tears that have been stinging behind her eyelids begin to flow.

Moments later, she reluctantly returns to reality and only then can she hear her own heavy pants loud in her ears. Kate feels dizzy as she lays next to him. Enjoying the feeling of warmth that spreads up from her center right through to her stomach and onto her breasts. Castle looks up at her glowing face and smiles at her. With the pads of his thumbs he gently wipes away the tears that have fallen onto her cheeks. He whispers softly to her, "Why the tears? Did I hurt you? Did I hurt the baby?"

Kate shakes her head and whispers, "God no... That was incredible. I've never felt anything quite like that before Castle. I... It was incredible Castle. I love you. So much..."

He smiles that wonderful smile that she has grown to love so much over the years. The smile that she swears he reserves just for her.

Kneeling before her, he carefully places himself between her opened legs. Rubbing himself in the creamy wetness. The wondrous proof of her orgasm. He moistens himself well before placing himself at her entrance. Then, he whispers, "Are you sure?"

Kate gives him a look that is something between disbelief and wonder. He is such a wonderful, wonderful man. Always so attentive to her every need. So very thoughtful to her emotions and feelings. Giving her until the last moment to change her mind. As if she would ever do that. This is right where she wants to be. She can't speak. She can only nod.

He hasn't entered her yet. He waits, holding his weight off of her body by placing his hands on either side of her. Speaking softly, his voice so deep and so filled with passion, he says, "Look deep into my eyes Kate. Don't look away."

Kate couldn't look away. Even if she wanted to. Which she didn't. She has wanted this for weeks. Although if she was completely honest with herself, it has been much longer than that. Way before Josh. Before everything got so complicated and pathetic. She knew that she would do anything he asked of her. Her smoldering brown eyes meet his soft blue ones and she can feel him push slowly and gently into her. Her eyes roll back in her head and they both sigh at the same time. He fills her completely and makes her feel so wonderful. His deliberate movements are so very slow.

Castle slides in and out of her slowly, but in time increasing the speed, maximizing the friction and creating the most pleasurable heat inside her. That wonderful ache builds again, in the lowest part of her stomach with its warmth spreading upwards like the branches of a tree, spreading and spreading throughout her entire body.

Castle watches her closely and he can tell what is happening to her. Even before she is aware of it herself. He quickly falls back on his heels in a kneeling position and he pulls her up with him onto his lap in one gentle swoop and without missing a single stroke. Kate tries to hug him closer to her, feeling such love and tenderness, but he doesn't allow it. Holding the upper part of her body away from him, he tells her softly, "Turn your head toward the mirror. Watch us make love Kate..."

Kate watches their naked bodies moving in a rhythm as old as time. It's the age-old dance of the sexual human. Her eyes return from the mirror and she looks back at him. Kate can see that he is looking down at the place where they are connected, still holding her back slightly so he can watch them coming together.

Kate's hands are behind her back holding herself up so she is totally defenseless when he takes his finger and touches her clit, gently caressing it.

Overwhelmed by the sensations, she screams, "Oh Rick!"

Kate feels the lights explode again behind her eyes.

Castle finally pulls her closer to him and allows her to wrap her arms tightly around him. With both his large hands crushing the sides of her head, he kisses her hard and deep, capturing her ecstatic screams in his open mouth. Their bodies move in unison. Constantly trying to get even closer to each other, although it is physically impossible.

Too soon, Kate can feel herself spiraling back down into reality to hear the deep, low, guttural moans escape Castle's lips. He grabs her ass, squeezing the cheeks tightly in his grasp, holding her to him so close and so still. He comes hard as the spasms from deep inside her surround him, milking every drop of juice from him.

As the intensity of their orgasms subside, he holds Kate close to him, resting his face against her cheek. He feels the moisture from the tears she had cried during their powerful lovemaking. He grows worried and he asks, "I didn't hurt you. Did I? The baby's okay?"

She shook her head and kissed him so very softly. Then Kate whispered, "The baby and his mother are absolutely perfect Castle. That was amazing..."

Castle holds her tight and rocks her so very gently. Caressing her back softly with his hands. And he tells her how beautiful she is, without the use of words.

What feels like hours pass, but in reality is only minutes, he pulls her from his lap and tucks her gently into bed. He slides his naked body in behind her and they fit together like two spoons in a drawer. His hand rests on her stomach, cupping it and running it over the place where their baby now rests.

Placing a loving kiss just below her ear, he whispers, "I love you" as she closes her eyes and falls in a deep contented sleep...

_**A/N- So, there it is. Hope it doesn't stink too badly. Reviews are definitely appreciate for this chapter...**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N- First I need to say thank you to all of the wonderful reviews. I was honestly nervous about the last chapter. I'm glad that you enjoyed it.**_

When Castle woke the following morning, Kate wasn't in the bed. His first thought was that she was going to run. That she had second thought about last night and she had retreated to the guestroom. He was worried that last night had been a reaction to the emotions that her divorce had brought out. So, he walked out to the kitchen and smiled when he was greeted with a wonderful sight.

Kate was in the kitchen cooking up a storm. She had bacon, eggs, waffles and even cut fresh fruit. When he walked closer to her, she gave him a big smile, "Good morning."

Castle smiled and walked behind her and kissed her neck softly. Kate moved her head to the side and she moaned softly. She dropped the spatula and turned around and looped her arms around his neck. She smiled and kissed him deeply. Then she whispered, "I love you."

Smiling brightly, Castle kissed her again and then asked, "Hungry?"

"I'm starving and the baby was protesting the lack of food also."

"Oh, so it's the baby's fault huh?"

"Of course."

Once the food was done, they sat down at the table together. Finally Castle asked, "Any regrets?"

Smiling she told him, "None. How about you?"

He shook his head, "The only regret I have is that we didn't admit how we felt about each other years ago."

"Remember? No regrets about the past."

He smiled at her and nodded. They ate in silence and soon it was time for Kate to go to work. She had a ton of paperwork to do and then she was meeting with the realtor to finalize the sale of the house. She was happy that there was an offer on the house. Selling the house would be the final chapter in her life with Josh. Then she would finally be free from everything that was their past. Then she could concentrate on her future with Castle and their baby.

Their baby. It felt strange to say it, but wonderful at the same time. She'd always known that Castle had a big heart, but she hadn't seriously expected him to be so accepting of another mans baby. Putting her hand on her stomach, she smiled when she felt the baby move. It was almost as if he or she was trying to tell her not to worry about it.

She still had doubts, but decided that she would put them aside. At least for now. For now, she would concentrate on being happy. And Castle made her happy. Incredibly happy. If she was honest with herself, she was happier now than she had been in years. The best part was that she was no longer afraid to admit that she loved him.

She had been quiet for awhile and he finally smiled at her and asked, "You okay?"

She nodded and with tears in her eyes, she told him, "I'm perfect. Last night was incredible Castle. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being you. For loving me. For being willing to raise this baby as your own. I don't know what I did to deserve a man like you. I don't deserve you." She put her hand on her stomach and whispered, "We don't deserve you."

Castle shook his head and whispered, "Don't Kate. You deserve to be happy. WE deserve to be happy. I love you and Alexis loves you. Let me ask you a question. Do you love Alexis?"

She nodded slowly, "Yes. She's easy to love."

Castle smiled, "She's not your child and yet you love her. The same goes for this baby. I don't share a lick of this baby's DNA, but I love her already."

Kate smiled and turned her head to look at him. Then she said, "You're convinced that the baby is a girl. Aren't you?"

He shrugged softly, "Alexis seems to think the baby's a girl, so who am I to doubt her? Plus, I'm pretty good around the ladies."

Kate laughed and rolled her eyes, "Always the ladies man Castle."

He looked up at her and shook his head, "I only have eyes for one lady. Well, unless you count the baby and Alexis that is."

They kissed softly and Kate whispered, "God, I love you..."

She felt Castle's hand rest on her stomach. Then he whispered, "I know this is going to sound crazy, but after last night I feel like this baby..."

He looked down and Kate knew that there was more he wanted to say. So, she put her hand under his chin and asked, "What?"

Castle swallowed hard and then rubbed his hand on her stomach softly. He kissed her on the lips and Kate noticed the tears in his eyes. She put her hand on his cheek and whispered, "Castle. You can tell me."

She watched as he swallowed and then heard him whisper, "I feel like this baby is mine. I don't care about genetics or any of that other stuff. All that matters." He swallowed hard, "All the truly matters is that you love me and I love you. We can work everything else out. You, me, Alexis and this baby are going to be so happy together. The perfect family."

Kate looked at him with tears in her own eyes. Then she told him, "I couldn't agree more."

They kissed and then she headed to work.

The next month went by so very quickly. Castle finally finished his latest Nikki Heat novel and they were planning the launch party for the following month. Of course Paula wanted everyone to attend. Castle wanted Kate to go, but she was apprehensive about going to a party of this magnitude when she was going to be nearly six month pregnant. She tried to get out if it. Saying that she didn't want to ruin his playboy image. Castle shook his head and told her, "I'm done with my playboy days. The only image I want now is that image of the family man to our two children."

She had looked into his eyes and she saw nothing but truth in his eyes. She sighed and told him that she would go. Little did she know that he had something very special planned. Something that would change their lives forever.

The night of the premier, Alexis was practically bouncing off of the walls. She had grown up going to these parties and she looked forward to them. She looked for any excuse to show off a pretty dress.

Kate had picked a beautiful red dress for the occasion. However, she had refused to show it to Castle until the night of the launch. She thought that she looked beautiful, but she was a bit self conscious about the baby bump. Castle loved it though. He would let his hands rest on her stomach all the time. And when they made love he was so gentle with her. Always making her feel like she was precious and beautiful.

Castle was waiting in the living room the night of the book launch and he heard the door to their bedroom open. He stood up and saw Kate walk into the room. All the air left his lungs and he whispered, "Beautiful. Simply beautiful."

Kate blushed and asked, "You think so?"

He kissed her softly and whispered, "Definitely. This makes me want to stay here." He kissed her neck, "Makes me want to do naughty things to you."

Kate felt the thrill at his words. She shivered and whispered, "Paula would kill you."

"I know. So would Alexis and mother."

It was then that Alexis came running into the room. She was twirling around in her dress and she asked her father, "Do you like my dress daddy?"

Castle smiled, "It's beautiful Pumpkin. Did Grams help you pick it out?"

Alexis shook her head, "Nope. Kate took me shopping with her. We picked out dresses out together."

It was then that Castle noticed that his girls had matching dresses on. The only difference was that Kate's was cut lower in the bodice and Alexis' dress had frills at the bottom. He raised an eyebrow and asked, "Mother was okay with you taking her? That's always been her thing."

Kate shrugged and told him, "It was actually her idea. She said it would be good bonding time for me and Alexis."

"Wow..."

The fact that his mother had insisted on Kate taking Alexis dress shopping really surprised him. Martha had been taking Alexis dress shopping ever since she was old enough to walk. He had told his mother about his plans for that night weeks ago. Martha had simply smiled and told him that she was proud of him. He'd wondered what she meant by it, but said nothing. She simply wished him luck. He knew that he would need it because he wasn't sure how Kate was going to respond. He knew that they had grown closer in the past few months, but he wasn't sure if it was too soon or not.

After the sale of Kate's house, she had started looking for a place. However, Castle had asked her to move in with him. That had resulted in their first big fight.

_**Flashback **_

_When Castle walked into the kitchen the night after her house had sold, the night after they made love for the first time, he found her looking at the paper. He asked her, "Doing the crossword puzzle?"_

_She shook her head and told him, "I'm looking for an apartment." _

_Castle had been shocked. He had just assumed that she would stay here with him. She never stayed in the guestroom anymore. She had moved all of her stuff into his room. They spent every spare moment together. So, when he heard that she was moving out, he panicked and blurted out, "Why? You already have a home here?"_

_Kate had looked up at him and shook her head, "We both knew that this wasn't going to be a permanent thing Castle. I need to move out."_

_He asked, "Why?"_

"_Because you and Alexis don't need me underfoot every time you turn around."_

"_You aren't underfoot Kate. We love having you here." _

_She shook her head, "Castle... Don't make this any harder than it has to be."_

"_I don't understand Kate..."_

_Kate sighed, "I feel like you're smothering me. I can't breathe and..."_

_Castle simply looked at her and whispered, "Well I'm sorry if I'm bothering you. By all means, go. It's what you were planning on doing all along." _

"_What the hell is that supposed to mean?"_

"_You know what I mean." _

_Kate shook her head, "No, no I don't. Would you care to enlighten me here Castle. Because I'm really confused right now." _

"_You didn't tell me about the baby. I didn't find out until the doctor in the hospital told me. You don't want me in your life. Yours or the baby's."_

"_That's crazy Castle! I..."_

"_Is it? If it's so crazy then why are you running just as fast as you can? You have a home here. Alexis and I both love you. We want you to stay here forever."_

"_Castle...please..."_

"_Please what?"_

_She sighed and told him, "You knew that this was only until the house sold. The plan always called for me to move out."_

"_Well, what if I want to change that plan? I don't want you to move out. I want you to live here with Alexis and I..."_

_Kate shook her head, "I can't Castle. I..."_

_He'd simply looked at her and whispered, "Can't or won't?"_

_Before she could answer, he walked out of the room and Kate cringed when she heard the door to the bedroom slam behind him. _

_God, she had made a mess of things. She realized that two things had happened. One was that she assumed that Castle would want her out of the house once the sale of her house was finalized. She hadn't bothered to ask him about whether or not she was welcome to stay here. Sometimes, she still felt like a guest here._

_The second thing that happened was that Castle had assumed that she was going to stay here forever. Without actually asking her to stay forever. She knew that she had to fix this. So, she walked into the bedroom that they shared and saw him laying on the bed that they now shared. _

_He had obviously heard her come in. Because he asked, "Come to pack your things?"_

_Kate sighed and sat down on the bed. She put her hand on his shoulder and told him, "No. Can we talk?"_

"_What about? You've obviously decided that you're going to move out. Not much I can do to stop you. And stop you from taking the baby."_

_Kate closed her eyes and laid down beside him. She put her arms around his waist and then kissed his neck softly. Then she whispered, "I'm sorry. I always thought that the plan was for me to find another place as soon as my place sold."_

"_Even after we've gotten so close these past few weeks?"_

"_I had no idea Castle. You never asked and neither did I."_

_He whispered to the wall, "Do you want to stay?"_

"_Do you want me to?"_

_Castle had answered immediately, "Yes. I want you here forever." _

_Kate smiled and told him, "That sounds wonderful to me. I'm sorry. I should have talked to you." _

"_No, I'm the one that sorry. I just panicked when you said you were moving out. I had flashbacks of..."_

_Kate knew that he was having flashbacks to when Meredith had left. This time however, he would have no legal rights to the baby that she carried. She had kissed him, then laid on the bed. Over the past few weeks the baby had gotten more active. And this was no exception. She smiled and took his hand. Laying it over her stomach, she pushed down and the baby responded with a swift kick. She smiled and then she heard, "I felt it Kate..."_

"_I know. She's telling you not to worry so much daddy."_

_He leaned down to kiss her softly. Then he whispered with a voice full of tears, "Please..."_

_She knew without asking that he was pleading with her not to take this away from him. He had fallen in love with her baby. She knew that it would devastate him if she took this away from him. She finally whispered, "Castle, you are her father in every way that counts. I would never take her away from you."_

_He put her head on her shoulder and she soon felt the wetness of his tears. She let her hand run through his hair. She kissed him and then whispered, "I love you Richard Castle. And I'm sorry that I didn't ask to stay." _

_Castle simply looked at her and then they made love for hours that night. Kate had never felt more connected to him than she did that night. And in that moment, she decided that she would be with him forever._

_Flashback Ends_

That night had been hard on both of them. They had worked through it and had come through stronger. Their relationship seemed even better since then. They hadn't spent a night apart in over a month. Castle felt himself falling deeper and deeper in love with her.

So, he had went out and bought her a ring. He planned to ask her to marry him. However, things wouldn't turn out like he planned. Because in the background of their happiness loomed a dark and foreboding shadow. And that shadow took the form of one Doctor Josh Davidson. What he did that night had the potential to change everything for the happy couple and it would be up to Kate to save the man that she loved...


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N- I have to say that I don't usually write cases and am not even going to try. So, this is mostly Kate's search for Castle...**_

Castle woke with a splitting headache and he was seeing double. He shook his head and realized immediately that it was a mistake. It cause the room to start spinning and he had to close his eyes to keep the world from tilting off of it's axis.

The room finally stopped spinning and he was able to open his eyes. The room was dark except for the light from a camera. It practically blinded him and he needed to close his eyes to keep from getting sick. He heard a voice in the distance say, "I see that you've decided to wake up. Good. I was hoping that I didn't kill you."

Castle recognized the voice immediately. His eyes widened and he asked, "Josh? Where am I? What are you doing?"

Josh kept himself hidden within the shadows. He said nothing else for a few moments. Then he told Castle, "You were always there. You wouldn't leave her alone. I thought that once we got married you would take the hint and back the hell off."

"I couldn't back off. She's my friend and..."

Josh laughed harshly and said, "She never gave our marriage a chance because of you. We could have been happy, but you couldn't back off. Then, she betrayed me and decided to keep that baby. And you made it so easy for her. Always there to help her. Offer a shoulder to cry on."

"You divorced her. I saw the papers."

"I divorced her because she gave me no other choice."

"No other choice? She's carrying your child!"

"A child that I never wanted. A child that she should have gotten rid of months ago."

Castle couldn't say anything to that. This man didn't deserve Kate or the baby that she carried. He looked at Josh and asked, "So what are you going to do with me?"

Josh smiled and told Castle, "Simple. I'm going to torture you. And see that camera over there? That is going to broadcast everything directly to Kate's computer. Then, when I get tired of playing with you, I will kill you. In her grief, she will turn to me. Where she belonged all along. Then, when she is feeling safe, I will administer a combination of drugs that will cause a late term abortion. I should have done it earlier. Then she never would have gotten involved with you."

The only thing that Castle could think of was that this man was insane. The next thing he thought of was that he needed to get out of here. To save the baby.

Before Castle could say anything else, he watched as Josh turned on the camera and walked towards him with a board in his hand. He closed his eyes and waited for the blows to come.

Meanwhile, Kate was pacing the floor in the loft. Castle had gone downstairs to pull the car around. When he hadn't returned after almost thirty minutes, she had gone down to check on him. The car was gone and there was nothing to indicate where Castle had gone.

So, Kate had gone upstairs to call Martha. Martha hadn't heard from him either. She was starting to get pissed off when she heard her phone alert her to a new email message. When she opened it, there was only a link. Which she clicked on. What she saw nearly killed her. Castle was slumped over in a chair. His face was bloodied and bruised. It barely even looked like him. She whispered softly, "Oh Castle..."

Then she got another email. This one was of a live feed. She saw a figure dressed in black approaching Castle from behind. Then man held a knife to Castle throat. Before she could tell what was going to happen, the camera went black.

Kate stumbled to the couch and stared at the picture of Castle. Then, she did the only thing she could think of. She headed down to the station.

When she got there, Ryan and Esposito were doing paperwork. When Ryan saw her, he asked, "What are you doing here Beckett? I thought you an Castle had big plans tonight."

Kate couldn't speak. All she could do was hand Ryan her phone. She had pulled up the email and handed it to him, "Click that link."

After seeing the picture of Castle, he gasped and that's when they went into action. Ryan contacted the tech department and asked them to put a trace on the emails. It was disappointing however. Because the emails were being routed through several different servers. All of them in various countries. The same for the live feed.

Ryan knew that they had to find some clue to find Castle. He knew that Beckett wouldn't have been able to survive losing Castle.

After being beaten and stabbed, Castle knew that he needed to escape. He wasn't sure that he could survive another one. Josh was hell bent on killing him. He felt that it was sooner rather than later. The man was seriously deranged and he knew that he was running out of time.

Castle was thinking about how to escape when he was once again knocked unconscious. All the while hoping that Kate wouldn't fall for Josh's charms once again.

Kate opened up her email on her computer. She replayed the video over and over again. Looking for some kind of clue as the where he was. There was nothing. The room was completely nondescript. There was no light. Except for the light from the camera.

She ran her hand through her hair. She felt the baby move and she cried softly. She placed her hand on her stomach and whispered, "I'll find him peanut. I'll find your daddy. I promise you that."

Castle woke and he could tell immediately that Josh was no longer in the room. After working for nearly an hour, Castle freed his hands. He managed to also free his legs. Thankfully, most of the damage was to his upper extremities. So, he was able to walk over to the computer. He clicked on the email program and sent a one word email to Kate. It read, Josh...

Then he collapsed onto the floor.

When Kate heard another email come in, she was afraid to check it. Afraid of seeing another email with a video of a battered and bruised Castle. So, she called Ryan over to check for her. What he saw stopped his heart. He cleared his throat and told her, "You need to see this."

Thinking that it was another picture of the man she loved being tortured, Kate shook her head, "I can't Ryan. I'm not strong enough..."

Shaking his head, Ryan told her, "It's not bad. It's only a text email. It says Josh."

At hearing her ex's name, her head popped up. Was it possible? Could Josh be behind this? The thought alone was crazy. He had divorced her, but did that mean that he was truly over her? Did he blame Castle for the breakup somehow? A thousand thoughts went through her head. She didn't want to think that Josh could be responsible for kidnapping the man that she loved, but she had to think that if Castle found a way to send a message then it was worth following up.

Kate took a deep breath and asked Ryan, "Can you bring him in please? I don't want to see him if it's at all possible."

Ryan nodded and hurried to bring Josh in for questioning. It was at that point the Kate got the idea to check the GPS on Castle's phone.

Little did she know, but that would be the clue that would break the case wide open.

So, while Ryan and Esposito questioned Josh, Kate contacted the cell phone company to start the trace on his cell phone.

She could only hope that they found Castle before it was too late.

Ryan and Esposito brought Josh in for questioning. He was very cooperative and answered all of their questions. Even though they thought he was guilty, there was no way to prove it. So, Ryan decided to follow him.

Meanwhile, Kate got the GPS coordinates on Castle's phone. It showed that he was being held in a warehouse in the Bronx. So, Kate signaled for Esposito to come with her. She knew that she should have let him go by himself, but if he was there, she wanted to make sure he was okay. Wanted to see for herself that he was alive and relatively okay.

When they pulled up to the location, Esposito told her, "I think you should stay in the car. If anything happened to you or that baby..."

"Listen Javi, I need to be there."

He knew that there was no way to discourage her, so he nodded and told her, "Stay behind me."

Kate nodded and followed him inside the storage unit. At first, they didn't see anything, but when Espo shone the light in the middle of the room, they saw Castle laying on the floor. He was deathly still and didn't appear to be breathing. Esposito knelt down and felt for a pulse. It was very faint, but it was there. He got on his phone and called for an ambulance.

Kate nearly collapsed when she saw the man that she loved on the floor of that warehouse. It was hard to breath and she heard someone coming. She turned and saw Josh heading that way. Without thinking, she walked towards him. He didn't bother trying to get away. She walked over to him and slapped him hard on the face and asked, "What the hell did you do to him?"

"I just gave him what he had coming to him Katie... Now we can be together."

Kate just looked at him and asked, "Are you crazy? There is no way that I'm getting back together with you. Not now. Not ever."

Before she knew what was happening, she saw a needle in his hand. Then, she felt a prick in her upper abdomen. Then the pain started and it was enough to make her black out. She didn't know what was happening, but hoped that the ambulance got there in time to save her and the baby..

When Kate woke, she was in a hospital bed. She felt her stomach and was relieved to find that she was still pregnant. She saw Martha sitting next to her and could see that she had been crying. She thought the worst and asked, "Castle?"

Martha stood up and gasped, "You're awake! Let me call the nurses."

Kate felt an excruciating pain in her head. She finally asked, "What happened? Castle!"

Kate tried to get up, but Martha put her hand on her arm and said, "You need to lay down Kate."

She could see the worry in the woman's eyes. She asked, "What's wrong?"

Martha could only shake her head and whisper, "The nurses will tell you."

It was then that Kate became extremely worried. She asked, "Castle? How is he?"

She smiled softly, "He's out of surgery. He lost a lot of blood. He's very lucky to be alive. What that man did to him. To you..."

Kate was really starting to worry. She put her hand on her stomach, pressed softly and then waited for the baby to move. She grew more worried when the baby didn't respond like normal. Usually there was an immediate response. This time however, it took a bit of coaxing to get the baby to move. Kate looked at Martha, "What happened?"

Martha could only shake her head, "Wait for the doctors..."

Kate closed her eyes and felt a tear fall down her cheek. If she lost her baby because of Josh, she would kill him. She didn't care about the law or anything else.

Kate's doctor soon appeared in the room and he smiled softly at her. The minute he appeared, she pounced on him, asking, "What happened to me? Is the baby okay? I..."

Her doctor smiled again and told her, "You're very lucky that the ambulance arrived when it did. You were injected with a powerful drug. It's used for late term abortions. However, we think that we administered enough drugs to counteract the effect. It's a potent combination of Misoprostol, Oxytocin, Laminaria, and Digoxin. We will want to do an ultrasound to check on the baby's condition and the condition of the placenta. But the good news is that your cervix is in tact and if you were aborting the baby there would be signs there."

Kate closed her eyes and whispered, "Do it now. I need to know."

Doctor Taylor nodded and they laid her bed down flat and wheeled her into the ultrasound room. It was there that she found out the sex of the baby. She smiled and whispered, "I knew it."

After nearly an hour later, Kate was told that the baby was, for now at least, fine. The delayed movement was due to the recovery from the drugs. They would need to monitor her for the next few days, but her prognosis was better than before. When she was back in her room she asked, "How's Castle doing?"

Her nurse smiled, "He's awake and asking for you."

"Can I go to him?"

"Not a good idea. I..."

"Please. Wheel me to his bedside. Or him to mine. I need to tell him about the baby. He needs to know that I'm okay." She put her hand on her stomach and whispered, "That we're okay."

Something in Kate's eyes told the nurse that she needed to do ask Kate asked. So, she held up a finger and went to get a wheelchair. Then, she helped Kate into it. She whispered, "I could get into so much trouble for this, but I understand what it's like to be expecting a baby and scared for it's life."

Kate felt the nurses hand on her shoulder and she reached up the squeeze it, "thank you."

"Anytime."

When they reached Castle's room, Kate wasn't prepared for the sight that awaited her. She put her hand to her mouth and tried to contain the gasp that escaped. Castle looked terrible. His eyes were nearly swollen shut and there were bruises everywhere that she could see. She finally whispered, "Oh Castle, what did he do to you?"

He must have heard her, because his head turned in her direction. She reached for his hand and squeezed it softly. Then she put it to her mouth and let the kiss linger there. She nearly wept when he asked, "Are you okay? They wouldn't tell me anything except that you were admitted and that they were monitoring you. I..."

Kate said that one thing she knew would shut him up, "The baby's a girl..."

She could see the smile that popped onto his face. Even through all the swollen tissue and bruises. She knew that it hurt him to smile, but he couldn't seem to stop. She stood up and took his hand and placed it on his stomach. When she pushed this time, it was as if the baby knew that it was Castle. Because she responded immediately. Kate looked at Castle and whispered, "She's going to be just as stubborn as her daddy is. I tried to get her to move and she wouldn't do it right away. You try once and she responds. She loves her daddy."

Castle didn't want to take his hand off of her, but he was extremely tired and soon fell into a deep sleep. Kate watched him for a few more moments and then she smiled. She knew that everything was going to be just fine. Josh hadn't broken them. If anything, he made their relationship even stronger...

_**A/N- And the Josh drama is over. I'm not a case fic writer, but this needed to be written about. So, here it is. As always, reviews are love...**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N- I haven't quite figured out what I'm going to do with Josh yet. LOL! I had fully intended to write a happy chapter, but my muse wasn't up for it. This isn't a sad chapter per say, but it has both of them wondering where the relationship is going. Each of them want the same thing, but it's complicated... **_

When Kate was released from the hospital a week later, she was feeling much stronger. The baby appeared healthy and strong. Castle was getting better and the bruises were fading.

Castle was finally released from the hospital after two weeks. The bruises were almost completely gone, except for a few on his chest and back. Kate would look at them and cry because of what he'd gone through. She blamed herself. If she hadn't left Josh. He never would have hurt Castle. But she knew that, if she hadn't left Josh, she wouldn't have known the love of this wonderful man laying beside her in bed. She would have had to get rid of this baby growing inside her. She would have to give up her chance to be a mother because Josh was too self centered to open his heart to a baby. Looking back, she knew that she wouldn't change it for anything. Because then she wouldn't know what it was like to love a man like Castle. She loved watching his eyes light up with absolute joy and wonder every time he felt the baby move. A baby that he didn't have to love. A baby that he chose to love. Simply because he loved her mother. So no. She wouldn't change anything about their love story.

One day, she found Castle in the study. He appeared deep in thought. He hadn't heard her come in and he was surprised when she put her arms around his neck and kissed him. She smiled and asked, "Whatcha doing?"

Castle kissed her softly and whispered, "Just thinking..."

"So you aren't doing anything."

Castle laughed at her, "Funny..."

Ever since the day he had been released from the hospital, Castle had one thought that kept creeping into his mind. He wanted to marry Kate. If he had died when Josh had taken him hostage, then Kate and the baby would be left with nothing. Oh, he knew that Martha would take care of her, but he wanted to make sure that everything was legal. He was just trying to figure out a way to ask her.

Then he wondered if it was too soon. Afterall, she had only been divorced for about six weeks. She probably wouldn't want to get married again. She had once told him that she was a one and done kind of girl. She'd had her one and it had failed. Would she want to risk it again? Especially for someone like him. Someone that had such a sordid past and a terrible track record with women.

He knew that she loved him. There was no question about that. He also knew that she loved Alexis. And the feeling was mutual as far as Alexis was concerned. No, the only question was whether she wanted to risk her heart again. She'd given it to Josh and he had thrown it away. Surely she knew that Castle was in it for the long haul. Hell, he was willing to raise another man's baby as his own.

He decided that maybe he would ask her after the baby was born. However, nothing would go as planned.

Castle forgot that he had hidden the ring in his underwear drawer and that was where Kate found it one rainy Saturday night. Kate was going through it and found the pouch. Part of her knew that she should put the ring back. That it was hidden for a reason. Another part of her was curious. Curious to know why he had bought the ring. So, against her better judgment, she opened the box. Inside was the most beautiful engagement ring she had ever seen.

It wasn't gaudy, but there was a heart shaped ruby surrounded by tiny diamonds. It took her breath away. It made her wonder why he had it hidden and how long he'd had it.

That was why she had gone into his study to find him that night. He was supposed to be writing, but instead he was staring off into space. She decided not to mention the ring. Instead she kissed him, then she smiled and asked, "Have you ever thought about getting married again?"

Castle did a double take and asked, "W-what?"

Kate bit the inside of her lip to keep from smiling. She knew that he hadn't seen that question coming. So, she repeated herself, "I asked if you have ever thought about getting married again."

"W-why? Have you?"

Kate shrugged and hoped that he would take the hint and ask, "It would have to be the right man. Someone that loves me. Someone that loves my daughter."

"You always said that you were a one and done type of girl."

Kate smiled then and turned to leave. Then she smiled and said, "Maybe I changed my mind..."

And with that she walked out of the study and hoped that maybe, just maybe she had planted the seed in his mind.

As he watched Kate leave, he could only wonder what just happened? Where had all of this talk about marriage come from all of the sudden? Was she trying to tell him that she wanted to marry him? He kept thinking about what she said about it would have to be the right man. And that he would have to love her and her daughter. He certainly fit those requirements.

He was still wondering about it when he made his way into the bedroom later that afternoon. He noticed that Kate had fallen asleep on their bed. He smiled and crawled into bed with her. Putting his hand on her stomach, he was rewarded with a small thump. He smiled as he closed his eyes. Then, he raised up her shirt and kissed the soft skin of her belly. He whispered to their daughter, "I love you so much little one. You are going to be so beautiful. Just like your mommy. I'm going to have to fight the boys off with a stick. Which means that there won't be any dating for you. Well, not until you're at least thirty." He kissed her stomach again and then continued, "I love your mommy so much. I want to marry her. But that's a secret between you and me. I'm not sure if your mommy would ever want to marry me. She really deserves better."

It was then that the baby kicked and Castle smiled. He wondered if it was her daughter's way of telling him that he was being crazy. He already loved this little girl that Kate carried inside her. He also knew that Kate could change her mind at any moment. All she would have to do is decide that she didn't want him in her life. It would kill him if she did that. Hopefully she could see that they would make a wonderful family. Right now though, she held all of the cards. Cards that could come tumbling down at any moment.

He didn't realize it, but Kate had woken when he was talking and had heard everything that he said. She felt a tear roll down her cheek when he told their daughter that she deserves better. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair and tell him that she couldn't do any better than him. A man that would raise another man's child as his own. A man that loved her despite how many mistakes she had made in the past. He had the biggest heart of any man she had ever known. She kept expecting him to change his mind and walk away from her and her daughter. Kept wondering if any man could love a woman enough to raise a baby that isn't his.

Every morning when she woke, she wondered if that would be the day that she decided that he'd changed his mind. That it wasn't worth all the pain. He had Alexis to worry about and she wondered if the risk she brought in their lives was worth loving her. Especially after Josh had nearly killed him. She'd walked on pins and needles for days. Visiting him in the hospital had nearly killed her. She kept wondering if he would tell her to pack her things and leave. That loving her wasn't worth the heartache and danger that it brought. She wondered if she would come home one day and find her bags packed and a note telling her to leave. The thought of not having him in her and her daughter's life scared her to death.

Part of her wanted to end it first. At least then she could control the time and place. She could revert back to her old ways of protecting her heart. But she knew that wouldn't solve anything. She'd spent so long running away from her feelings for him. Afraid of losing him if a relationship between them didn't work out. In the end, she'd nearly lost him. Their partnership had been seriously strained after she married Josh. She had sensed that he was on the verge of calling it quits several times.

Finally, she just had to run her fingers through his hair. Had to do something to quiet the thoughts that were running around her head like crazy. When he smiled up at her, she couldn't help but smile back. Then she whispered, "Talking to her again?"

Castle nodded and whispered, "She's the only female in the house that doesn't talk back."

Kate laughed, "Not yet, but just wait until she's a teenager. She will give you a run for your money then."

Castle hoped that she would. Because that would mean that Kate would still be in his life. He knew that he should just ask her to marry him. She could only say no. But it could scare her and he could lose her altogether. So, he kissed her stomach again and asked, "I want to ask you something Kate."

She smiled at him and said, "Shoot."

Castle knew it would be so easy to ask her, but he chickened out at the last second. Instead, he asked, "Do yo feel like going out for dinner tonight? Or I can cook if you'd rather stay in."

Kate could only stare at him in shock. She'd been so sure that he was going to ask something else. So, she shook her head with irritation evident in her voice the told him, "You decide for us. You always do anyways..."

With that she pushed him away from her and pulled down her shirt. Then, she hurried out of the bedroom and walked into the bathroom. She closed the door behind her and looked at her reflection in the mirror. He didn't want to marry her. What other reason could there be for him to not ask her. She lowered her head and let the tears fall silently in the seclusion of the bathroom. Her only witness was her unborn baby girl...


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N- Just a short filler chapter. It's short but important. Oh and a few of you have asked for the link to the video that inspired the story. You can find it in my profile page...**_

Castle watched as Kate closed the bathroom door behind her. He decided that he was going to go in, but when he heard her crying, he wondered how he was going to fix this. Obviously she wanted to marry him. How could he not have realized it sooner? So, he decided that he was going to ask her to marry him.

Martha looked more excited that he was. She hugged her son and told him, "Good luck."

Castle smiled, "I'm going to need it mother. Kate was so upset with me."

Martha waved her hand in the air and laughed, "It's hormones."

"She's happy one minute and the next she's upset at me for something I did or didn't do. I feel like I'm living with two different women. Women that look like her, but aren't."

Martha laughed and hugged her son. She was certain that everything would work itself out.

Meanwhile, Kate ran her hands through her hair and looked at her reflection in the mirror. What the hell was wrong with her? She loved Castle more than she had ever loved any other man and she knew that he loved her. So, when she found herself yelling at him, well she was embarrassed by her behavior. She needed to make this right. She put her hand on her stomach and laughed when her daughter kicked her. Hard. She swore that her daughter was taking sides and she had picked Castle's side. She smiled and whispered to her daughter, "I'll make this right sweetheart."

Castle was sitting on the bed waiting for her to come out of the bathroom. When she saw him sitting there, she walked over to him and put her arms around his shoulders. She placed a kiss on his head and she whispered, "I'm sorry Castle."

She felt him shake his head and he whispered, "I'm the one that's sorry. I.."

Kate laughed, "Can we talk? Please?"

Castle nodded and told her, "I think that would be a good idea."

Kate climbed into bed and waited for him to join her. She took his hand and laid it on her stomach. Then she put her hand on top of his. She laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and told him, "I love you."

"I..."

"Wait. Let me say this please." She felt him nod and then she went on, "I'm not sure exactly what's going on inside me. One minute I'm on top of the world in love with you and the next I'm doubting that any man can be this wonderful. I mean you want to raise this baby as your own. And after what Josh did to you... I guess I'm expecting you to change your mind. To tell me that it's not worth the risk. That you can't risk your life or the life of Alexis. I've loved you for so very long Castle. I wish that this baby was really yours."

She looked into his eyes and then she whispered, "I don't want to think what my life would be like without you in it. I need you and our daughter needs you. I love you Richard Castle. Forever and always..."

She looked at him and he was strangely quiet. She did see the tears in his eyes and then she whispered, "Say something Castle. Please?"

"As far as I'm concerned, this baby is mine. I love her just like I love Alexis. To me, they are equal. Loving you is worth all of the risks Kate. Don't ever doubt my love for you Kate. I want you in my life forever."

She smiled and kissed him so very softly. They both laughed when Castle jerked his hand away and said, "She's got one heck of a kick on her!"

Kate laughed, "She's going to be trouble. Just like her daddy is."

They kiss again as the screen goes dark.

The next morning found Castle sitting in Jim Beckett's office. He'd called him early that morning asking him if he could talk to him. He had to prepare for court that afternoon, but he could squeeze in a few minutes for him.

Castle knew that he had never been quite so nervous before. He was bouncing his foot up and down quickly when her father came into the office. He smiled at Castle and asked, "So, what do I owe the pleasure of this visit to?"

"Well Sir,I..."

Jim Beckett shook his head, "Please. Call me Jim."

Castle smiled and continued, "Okay, Jim. I'm just going to get right down to it. I love your daughter and I want to marry her. I want to raise the little girl she's carrying. I want to spend the rest of my life making sure that she's the happiest woman in the world. I want to ask her to marry me."

"And?"

Castle swallowed and continued, "Well, I would like to ask your permission to ask her."

Jim Beckett just stared at them man sitting across the desk from him. He'd been partners with his daughter for a long time. He'd seen her at her best and at her worst. He had known for a long time how deeply Castle cared for her. After a long few moments, Jim finally smiled and told her daughter's partner, "I've been waiting for this moment for years. I'm so glad you two deserve to be happy and I'm glad that you finally came to your senses."

"Is that a yes sir?"

Jim nodded and told him, "Yes. But please don't hurt her. I'm not sure that she could survive losing your trust Rick."

"That's not something you have to worry about. I'm in this for life."

Jim nodded and then stood, "I have to get to court. Thank you for asking me for my permission. Although if Katie knew about it, she would probably kill both of us."

Castle laughed, "You're probably right sir."

Jim laughed and told him, "Please don't call me sir. It's Jim or dad, but not sir. It makes me feel like I'm old."

Castle laughed, "Alright Jim. Thank yo again."

He nodded and watched as the man her daughter loved walked out of his office. Then, he took a picture of his wife out of the desk and told her, "You would like him Johanna. He's good for her. He loves her and her baby girl. Who would have guessed that she would have ended up with your favorite author. I just wish you were here to meet him."

He kissed his fingertips and then placed it against the glass. Not a day went by that he didn't miss his wife. It never got any easier. He was glad that Katie had found Richard Castle. Even more glad that she had fallen in love with him. More amazing was that the man loved the baby of another man growing inside of her. That alone made him respect Richard Castle even more. It took a special man to love a child that wasn't his. He truly believed that any man could be a father, but it took a special man to be a daddy. He believed that man for his daughter was Richard Castle.

He left his office with a smile on his face and headed to the courthouse. Happier than he had been in a long, long time.

Castle had one final stop to make. This stop made him a bit more nervous than he had been talking to Kate's dad. He walked over to the gravestone and placed the flowers he had bought after he had talked with her father. He wiped off a few leaves that had fallen onto it. Then he talked softly to Kate's mother, "I brought these flowers for you. I hope you like carnations. I know that you would be proud of her Johanna. She's a beautiful, smart and caring woman. I suppose that she's a lot like you. I wish that I could have met you. I have a feeling we would have gotten along very well." Castle took a deep breath and then continued, "I've loved her for so long now. I've forgotten what it feels like to not be in love with her. I hope our daughter is just like her. Strong and confident. Daring and bold. She doesn't back down and she never gives up. She honestly cares about the victims families. I think that's one of the reasons why I fell in love with her. I would like to think, if you were here, you would give us your blessing. I wanted to tell you that I'm going to ask her to marry me. Tonight."

It was then that Castle saw a robin fly and land on Johanna's gravestone. Castle didn't think anything of it at the time, but later it would come to have great meaning to him.

He stayed there for a few more moments and then turned and walked away. He had meant what he said to Kate's mom. He loved Kate more than he'd ever loved another woman before. He wanted her to be the woman that he grew old with. Forever and always...


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N- I definitely appreciate all of the wonderful reviews. I'm truly thankful for each and every one. I wasn't sure about the last chapter. I just thought that Castle asking Beckett's dad for his permission was a nice touch.**_

When Castle got home that afternoon he cooked a wonderful dinner for her. He was extremely nervous. He knew that she had hinted at this. That she wanted this. Part of him wondered if it wasn't simply hormones again.

He knew that he had one final person to ask about marrying her. One very important person. So, when he picked Alexis up from school, he made her a special snack. His daughter was smart, so she knew something was up. Alexis looked at her father and asked, "What did you do daddy?"

"What makes you think I did something wrong?"

"Because you look nervous. And Kate's not here."

Castle smiled, "She's not here because she's working Miss Smarty Pants."

Alexis turned her head to the side and looked at her dad. Even at six, she knew that her dad was nervous about something. Alexis' eyes grew wide and she said, "Is Kate moving out?"

"W-what would make you think that?"

Alexis looked at her father and shrugged her shoulders, "She's been crying a lot lately daddy."

"She has?" That was something that Castle didn't know.

Alexis nodded, "Yeah. I asked her about it, but she said she was fine. But she didn't look fine daddy. She was smiling, but..."

Castle smiled at his little girl and smiled at her, "I think the baby is making her sad."

"Why?"

"It's hard to explain Pumpkin. I can promise you that she isn't moving out. In fact, I wanted to ask you something. Something that effects us all."

"What daddy?"

"Well, you know that I love Kate and her baby right?" Alexis nodded and he continued, "Well, what would you think about me asking Kate to marry me? Marry us?"

Alexis was quiet for a few seconds. Then, a smile came to her face and she said, "I really love her daddy. She cuts the crust off of the bread when she makes me sandwiches. And she doesn't mind reading me bedtime stories. And she makes you happy daddy."

"So. Is that a yes?"

Alexis nodded, "She's good for you."

Castle smiled, "She's good for us pumpkin."

Alexis definitely thought that she was. Even since Kate had moved into the loft, she noticed that her dad smiled a lot more. He was a lot happier now. Happier than he had been since her mom had left. She was good for them and Alexis was looking forward to being a big sister.

Castle could see that his daughter was wanting to ask him something. She finally looked at her dad and said, "Do yo think Kate would be mad if I called her mommy?" At her dad's surprised look she said, "I know that she's not really my mommy, but I never see my mother and.. Well, the baby isn't yours but..."

"But what pumpkin?"

"I know you love her. And I think it would confuse the baby if I call her Kate and she calls her mommy. I..."

Castle had never heard anything sweeter in his life. He smiled and nodded, "I think it would be okay. I can ask her if you want and..."

"No daddy. I will do it. Please?"

Castle nodded and hugged his daughter tightly, "I love you pumpkin."

He felt her wiggling to get free and told him, "You're squishing me daddy."

"Sorry pumpkin. How about helping me with dinner?"

So, with that taken care of, Alexis and Castle made dinner for them that night. Castle had a very special job for Alexis when he asked Kate to marry him. Then, Alexis set the table and everything was perfect by the time Kate got home. She was met at the door by a very excited Alexis. The little girl hurried her to the bedroom and told her, "You need to get dressed for dinner Kate. Daddy and I made spaghetti for you. With the meatballs you love."

Kate smiled, "You did? What's the special occasion?"

Alexis shook her head and told her, "Daddy had a surprise for you."

"A surprise? What kind of surprise?"

Alexis shook her head, "I'm not telling. Daddy said to take a shower and put on the dress that's hanging on the closet door."

Before Kate could say anything else, Alexis ran out of the bedroom. She knew that Castle was up to something. She shook her head and smiled and headed for the shower.

Castle was waiting for Alexis in the guestroom. She came into the room and smiled. Then she gave him a thumbs up and she went to get dressed for dinner.

All three of them met in the living room nearly an hour later. Kate looked at the two Castle's and smiled. She was in love with both of them. She realized that this was what she wanted from life. To come home to Castle, Alexis and soon, their daughter. She was anxious to meet her. She just wished that this baby was Castle's.

She smiled when her daughter gave her a tiny kick. A kick to remind her not to overthink things. Castle loved her and that was all that mattered. So, she walked into his arms and kissed him softly. She felt Alexis tugging at her dress and Kate smiled when the little girl wrapped her arms around her legs. She smiled as Alexis took her hand to lead her over to the table.

When Kate sat down, Alexis smiled and said, "Night Kate." She turned and ran out of the room. Before leaving however, she turned down the lights.

Kate was confused now and asked, "Isn't she eating with us?"

Smiling, Castle lit the candles in the middle of the table. The he whispered, "No. She already had dinner. This night is just for us."

"What are you up to Richard Castle? First you tell me that you had something to do today so you can't come to the precinct and then this."

"You will see my dear. For now, lets eat."

She gave him a sideways glance, but she knew that she wouldn't get anything out of him. Even if she pushed. So, she nodded and smiled as he went to get their food. It was a wonderful meal. Once they finished, they walked into the living room. That was when Castle decided to ask her. She was sitting on the couch and gave him a funny look when he got down on his knees in front of her. She saw the love shining in his eyes.

He took her hand and whispered, "Katherine Beckett, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life doing everything I can to make you happy. I want to raise your daughter and eventually want to have a houseful of kids. You love me and you love my daughter. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?"

Kate was speechless. She looked at him and then looked at the ring. Then she asked, "You want to marry me?"

"Yes."

Kate put her hand on his cheek and whispered, "Richard Castle. You are a dear, sweet, loving man. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. You've loved me even when I didn't deserve it. You love my daughter and want to raise her as your own. You've given us a home and you've given us love. I can't ask for anything more than that Rick."

Castle watched as she smiled at him and for a brief moment, he thought that she was going to say no. That she only wanted to live with him and nothing more. However, when she smiled a bit brighter he knew. She finally whispered, "Yes. I will marry you Richard Castle. In fact, nothing would make me happier..."

Castle put the ring on her finger and then he sat beside her on the couch. It was then that they heard an excited, "Yes!"

Both Castle and Kate laughed at Alexis' excitement. Then, Castle whispered, "I love you Katherine Beckett."

"The feeling is mutual Richard Castle."

They smiled at each other and kissed softly in the living room.

Then they laughed when Alexis ran down the stairs and threw herself between them. Castle and Kate kissed her and then they both started tickling her. The sound of laughter filled the room and Kate swore she had never heard anything more lovely in her entire life.

Alexis cried out, "Stop mommy! Stop daddy! I give up!"

Kate stopped tickling her immediately and put her hand to her mouth. Kate wasn't sure that Alexis realized what she said. She was surprised that Alexis called her mommy. She had never done that before. Castle turned to look at her. She had tears in her eyes. So, Castle picked Alexis up and threw her over her shoulder. She cried out, "Stop it daddy!"

He smiled, "It's time for bed young lady. Tell Kate goodnight."

Smiling at Kate, Alexis said, "Night mommy."

Kate stood up and kissed Alexis on the cheek. Kate's eyes were shining brightly with unshed tears. It seemed as if she cried all the time lately. Ever since getting pregnant she seemed to cry at the drop of a hat. She went to stare out the window and she jumped a little when he wrapped his arms around her. She felt him rest his cheek on her shoulder. Then he kissed her neck and whispered, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Come on Kate. I know somethings wrong. You might as well tell me. You know that I will find out anyway."

"Alexis."

"What about Alexis?"

She swallowed hard and then closed her eyes. She loved Alexis like she was her own daughter. Hearing her call her mommy was so unexpected, but beautiful at the same time. She finally whispered, "She called me mommy."

"Are you mad?"

Kate shook her head, "I love her. Couldn't love her more if she was my daughter."

Castle smiled and then whispered, "She loves you."

"I understand now."

Castle raised an eyebrow, "Understand what?"

"I understand how you feel about this baby I'm carrying. Alexis isn't mine. I didn't carry her under my heart, but I don't love her any less."

Castle smiled at her. She smiled back and she knew what he had done. He had made her see that it doesn't take biology to love a child. It comes naturally. Just like breathing. Love means never having to explain why you are in love. Sometimes it just happens. One step at a time and one heartbeat at a time. Love just is...


	16. Chapter 16

_**A/N- I blame part of this on watching the Bones season premiere. It was not a happy one and it kind of came out a bit in my writing. Not too bad though. LOL!**_

The next two weeks seemed to just fly by. Between work and preparing for the wedding, Kate was busier than ever.

They wanted a small wedding. Inviting only their family and closest friends. Kate wanted to hold the wedding in the Hamptons. Every time she suggested it however, Castle would change the subject. It got so bad that they were fighting about it in the breakroom. It resulted in Castle walking out of the precinct and storming off.

Castle didn't come into the precinct for nearly a week and when he did finally come back, things were tense between them.

Finally, Lanie cornered her and asked, "What is up with you and Castle?"

Kate shook her head, "I don't know what you're talking about. Everything's fine Lanie."

Lanie gave her a dirty look and said, "You two most certainly not _fine_. You haven't worked together in a week. You've been moping at your desk and looking at the elevator every time it opens. You look like you've lost your best friend."

"No I don't. You don't know what you're talking about."

"Really? Things are back to like they were before you two got your act together. What's going on?"

Kate closed her eyes and told her, "We are arguing over where to hold the wedding. He wants to hold it at the library. As a symbol of where we first met."

"That's sweet." Seeing the look on her face, Lanie said, "But you want to have it someplace else."

Kate nodded and wiped at her eyes, "I want to have it in the Hamptons."

"Why there?"

"Because that's where I realized that I was head over heels in love with him."

"Is there a reason why he doesn't want to hold it there?"

"He won't tell me. Every time I try to talk to him he says that he has his reasons. Reasons? He has his reasons? What reasons could he have and why won't he tell me?"

Lanie shook her head, "You need to talk to him."

Kate sighed, "He won't talk to me."

"Then you need to make him talk."

Kate shook her head, "In case you haven't noticed, I have been trying to get him to talk. He just says that it's nothing and he shakes his head and walks away. "

"Then you need to try harder. You two are acting like you did back before you married Josh. You can cut the tension with a knife. You would never know that you are in love and engaged to be married."

"I know..."

Castle had been drifting further and further away from her. And it all began when she suggested having the wedding in the Hamptons. Not only was the view amazing, but it was the first place she fell in love with him at. Or at least where she realized it. She honestly couldn't understand why he was being so resistant to it.

Lanie finally suggested, "Do you want me to talk to him?"

Kate sighed, "We aren't children Lanie."

"No, but you're acting like it. Both of you. And when mom and dad aren't happy, none of us are happy. Just so you know."

Kate knew it. So, she told her friend, "I will talk to him tonight."

"Promise?"

Kate hugged her friend, "I promise." Lanie turned to walk away and Kate said, "Lanie?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for caring."

"Of course I care. You're my best friend. And I like Castle to. But don't let him know that I said that. Because then I will have to kill you. And I'm really looking forward to meeting that little baby girl."

Kate laughed and lowered her head. She was truly mystified by Castle's behavior lately. It made absolutely no sense whatsoever. Maybe she should just give up and give in. Was risking their relationship worth standing her ground on where they were going to have their wedding. Sure, she wanted to get married in the Hamptons, but when she thought about it, the only thing that mattered was that she was marrying him. She knew that she could get married anywhere and it wasn't worth risking their relationship over. So, she packed up her things and headed out of the precinct.

She walked into the loft and was surprised at how quiet it was. She noticed that the table had been set and there was a note on the table.

It read:**_ I'm sorry for being an ass._**

Kate smiled and walked into their bedroom. She saw him laying on the bed facing the window. She climbed into bed behind him and whispered, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"No you aren't. We aren't fine. And everyone around us can tell."

Castle turned around in the bed to face her. He kissed her softly and whispered, "It's stupid really."

"Castle. Talk to me please. We need to work this out."

She watched as he closed his eyes. He swallowed hard and said, "I want to have it at the library because that's where you first arrested me. I don't want to have it in the Hamptons."

"Why?

"Because that was where I almost lost you."

It was then that she realized how deeply her accident had effected him. She put her hand on his cheek and whispered, "I'm still here Castle. I'm fine and our daughter is fine. Do you know why I want to have the wedding there?"

Castle shook his head, "No."

"Because that was where I realized, for the first time in a long time, that I was in love with you. That I was willing to risk everything for a chance at loving you. After Josh broke my heart, I didn't think I was ever going to be willing to risk my heart on love again. Spending Christmas there with your family... It was wonderful. It made my heart soar and take flight."

He saw that it was important to her. So, he swallowed hard and whispered, "Fine. We can have it there. I love you enough to make that sacrifice."

Kate shook her head, "I don't want you to do that. How about if we compromise a little bit?"

Castle smiled, "What do you have in mind Detective Beckett?"

Kate smiled and pushed him onto his back. She climbed on top of him, kissed him softly. They didn't separate until breathing became a dire need. Kate panted and whispered, "How about if we get married here. At the library." She kissed him again, "Then we can honeymoon in the Hamptons."

"I don't..."

"I promise that I won't walk anywhere. In fact, I don't think that we will be going anywhere."

"Any how can you promise that?"

Kate smiled, "Because Mister Castle, I don't plan on leaving the bed or even the house for the entire week. Except to eat or go to the bathroom."

Castle smiled and whispered, "That sounds like a plan to me."

Kate fell asleep hugging the man that she loved with all of her heart and soul.

It took Kate the longest time to find a dress that she liked. It didn't help that she was six months pregnant. It also didn't help that the majority of the shop owners treated her snidely. Lanie, Martha and Alexis came along with her. When they approached them, most of the owners thought that Lanie was the bride. When they found out that it was actually Kate, they gave her a sideways look and made a show of helping Kate. In the end, Kate would walk out of the shops almost in tears.

That was when Martha decided to take matters into her own hand. The next shop they walked into, Martha went up to the shop manager and said, "Hello. You don't know me, but my son is getting married next month."

It was obvious that the shop owner knew who Martha was. She smiled and said, "You're Richard Castle's mother. I'm Sarah."

Martha smiled and nodded, "Yes, yes I am. Listen, we've been to almost ever shop in town and Kate is very frustrated with the service we have received. She will be six months pregnant next month and well, we need a dress that will make her look even more lovely than she already is. Before I bring her in, I wanted to make sure that you can help her. I don't want her to be even more disappointed and heartbroken."

"First of all, let me apologize for the others rudeness. I would be happy to help her find a dress for her special day."

"Thank you Sarah. You don't know how much this means to her. She's waited so long for this day and I want everything to be special. For both of them."

That was when Kate came into the dress shop. Followed by Lanie and Alexis. Sarah could tell that she was tired of a long and disappointing day of shopping. She was determined to change that for her. So, the first thing she did was take her over to a chair and sat her down. She got her a bottle of water and a stool for her feet. Then she told Kate, "You've come to the right place."

Kate was skeptical and asked, "Why is that?"

"Because we specialize in maternity dresses. So, sit back and let me bring a few dresses out for you. When you pick the one that you like, we will let you try it on."

Kate nodded and smiled. Then she watched as several different dresses were brought out. Each one was more beautiful than that last. However, she fell absolutely in love with the third dress that they brought out. It was a light peach colored floor length dress. It had beaded pearls all throughout the dress. The bust was very modest, but still a bit revealing. It was, in a word, perfect.

When Sarah found out that was the dress that Kate like, she smiled and told her, "I had a feeling that you would. Now, lets try it on. Shall we?" Kate sighed and Sarah put her hand on her shoulder and smiled, "Trust me dear."

Kate finally nodded. There was something about this woman that drew Kate to her. She wasn't sure what it was, but she reminded her of her own mother. She had a kind and gentle face and it put Kate completely at ease. She wouldn't forget the other shops, but this one more than made up for the awful that she'd had so far.

When Kate came out of the dressing room, all eyes in the shop turned towards her and the room went quiet. Alexis was the first to speak. She whispered, "You look pretty mommy."

Martha and Lanie could only nod their heads in agreement. Sarah smiled and told Kate, "This dress looks like it was made especially for you. We only have to make a few minor alterations and you will be good to go. When is the wedding?"

Kate smiled for one of the first time that day and said, "It's in two weeks."

Sarah smiled and clapped her hands together and suddenly people appeared seemingly out of nowhere and Sarah told her, "Our job is to get this job ready for the wedding."

"And my job?"

"Your job is to simply look beautiful for your husband to be."

Kate smiled and decided that today had been a good day after all...


	17. Chapter 17

_**A/N- Part 1 of the wedding.**_

Two weeks later, Kate was getting dressed for their wedding. She had never been quite so nervous in her life. She felt the butterflies in her stomach and for a brief moment, wondered if she was going to be sick. However, when Lanie put a hand on her shoulder and whispered, "You're beautiful sweetie."

Looking at herself in the full length mirror, she realized that she was, indeed, beautiful. Her hair was done up in a bun and the veil was placed on it. She had never felt more beautiful that she did that day.

Soon, she heard the music start up and she whispered, "It's really happening."

Lanie smiled, "Of course it's happening. That man out there loves you. He would do anything to make you happy."

She knew that and she smiled. Castle was the one person in her life that she could count on to be there for her. No matter what. No matter if it would put his life in danger. Since the day they met, his goal in life had been to protect her. Even when she thought that she didn't need it. He was always there. In the beginning, she had resented him. Hated him even. But little by little, she had grown to like him and then eventually, love him.

She was brought out of her thoughts when she heard her father say, "Katie, it's time."

When she turned around, her father gasped. Then he told her, "You are so beautiful Katie. You remind me so much of your mother. She would be so proud of you and what you've made of your life."

Kate had to shake her head to keep from crying. She hugged her father and whispered, "I wish she was here dad."

"I know Katie, but I believe that she's here with us and smiling down on you."

Kate smiled and hugged him again. Then she heard Lanie say, "We need to go."

Kate nodded and took her father's hand. She smiled and whispered, "I'm ready."

Castle was standing in the very room where she had arrested him all those years ago. The room where he had fallen head over heels in love with her. He watched the door and when he saw her walking towards him, he had to remember how to breathe. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Mayor Wheldon whispered, "She's beautiful Rick."

All Castle could do was nod. When she finally reached him, she smiled and he whispered, "So worth the wait."

Since the Mayor was marrying them, he smiled at the gathered crowd and said, "They have decided to make my job a lot easier today. They have written their own vows. Richard?"

Castle smiled and started out, "I, , Richard Castle love you, Katherine Beckett, with all my heart. You are my best friend, my one and only true love.

Since the day we met there has never been a doubt in my mind that one day I will make you my wife, and today here we stand.

Over the past four years we have learned a lot about each other. We grew apart for a time, but we eventually found our way back to each other. You've taught me more about love and life than I could ever have hoped to learn on my own and I look forward to spending the rest of my life learning more with you.

I promise to always be there for you, support you, to always make your life fun and never boring, to show you love, to tell you everyday just how beautiful you are.

I love you so much it is hard to put into words.

I looked forward to raising our children together. Teaching them about love and happiness through our love. I looked forward to having a house full of laughter and love.

You have changed me in ways that I never thought possible. When we met, I was this immature bachelor looking for a woman to share my life with. The moment I met you, something changed in me. I wanted to be a better man for you. Someone that deserves the love of an incredible woman like you.

When you kiss me, I am the happiest man in the world. Because I know that you love me and I've made it. I'm a better person because of you.

I am completely happy with you and the love that you have brought into my life. You love me and that's all I need to be happy.

So I stand here today in front of these witnesses, our friends and family, staring into your amazing brown eyes, to ask you a very important question.

Will you, Katherine Beckett, my best friend, my lover, my soul mate and my partner-in-crime be my lawful wedded wife?

Kate looked into Castle's eyes and whispered, "I will."

Then, Mayor Wheldon turned to Kate and said, "Now Katherine will recite her vows."

Kate smiled at Castle and started, "When we first met, I didn't like you. I thought you were arrogant, self-centered and most of all a pompous ass. You barged into my life with the force of a freight train. I didn't want to be your muse. I didn't want to have to worry about you getting hurt every time I turned around. I wasn't prepared for all of the changes you brought into my life and into my heart.

I'm not sure when it happened, but I slowly felt in love with you. I got used to you being around me every day. And when you weren't, I was lonely. You became a friend. A partner and eventually, my lover.

You loved me even when I didn't deserve it. You have been there for me in the darkest times of my life. You gave me hope when everything looked hopeless. I don't think I will ever be able to repay you for everything you've brought into my life.

We made a lot of mistakes along the way. Mistakes that seemed to drive us apart, but in the end, we managed to overcome everything.

So, I stand here today, in front of our family and friends and look into your beautiful blue eyes. To ask you a very important question.

Will you, Richard Castle, my best friend, my lover, my soul mate and my partner-in-crime and in life, be my lawful wedded husband?"

Castle smiled at her and said, "I will."

Mayor Wheldon smiled and announced, "By the power invested in me, by the State of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Castle put his hand on her stomach and then kissed her softly. She laughed when the baby kicked and Castle whispered, "She knows that her mommy is happy."

Kate smiled, "And so is her daddy."

It was then that Alexis ran over to them and Castle pulled her into his arms. Kate and Castle kissed her on each of her cheeks, causing the little girl to giggle. Then, the happy family walked down the carpet and out the door. Alexis could be heard giggling the entire way.

The reception was being held in the atrium of the library. Kate looked at Castle and asked, "How much did you have to donate for this?"

Castle laughed and told her, "You really don't want to know."

She shook her head and laughed, "I love you."

"I love you to. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For making me the happiest man in the entire world. I never thought I could be so happy. You've made me the happiest man in the world."

Soon, it was time for their first dance as husband and wife. They had picked, All About Loving You by Bon Jovi

_**Looking at the pages of my life  
Faded memories of me and you  
Mistakes you know I've made a few  
I took some shots and fell from time to time  
Baby, you were there to pull me through  
We've been around the block a time or two  
I'm gonna lay it on the line  
Ask me how we've come this far  
The answer's written in my eyes **_

Castle whispered to her, "You have made me the happiest man in the world Katherine Beckett."

She shook her head, "No."

"No?"

Kate laughed, "I'm not Katherine Beckett. I'm Katherine Castle. As of today."

Castle leaned down and kissed her so very softly. Then, he whispered, You are an amazing woman. Do you know that?"

"Just as amazing as you are. You waited for me even though I didn't deserve it. I never gave you any hope..."

"But I knew. Deep in my heart. I knew that we would be together one day. And that's why I never gave up hope and I couldn't simply walk away from our partnership and everything we were and could be to each other."

_**Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new  
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more  
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time  
When I look at what my life's been comin' to  
I'm all about lovin' you **_

Kate smiled at him and then whispered, "I think I knew to. That's why I never asked you to leave." When Castle started to protest, she smiled and said, "And I could have. Montgomery asked me more than once if I wanted you out of the precinct."

Castle raised his eyebrows and asked, "He did?"

Kate laughed, "Yeah. I told him that I would handle it. That I could deal with us working together."

Castle twirled her around and she laughed, "You loved me. Even back then. Even though you married Josh."

Kate laid her head on his shoulder and sighed. She hated to admit it, but he was right. At the time she had thought that it was friendship, but she knows that deep in the back of her mind, what she felt for him was love.

_**I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've paid some dues, baby  
We've been to hell and back again  
Through it all you're always my best friend  
For all the words I didn't say and all the things I didn't do  
Tonight I'm gonna find a way **_

He kissed her softly and whispered, "I can't believe that we are finally married. I thought for sure something was going to stop it. After all these years..."

He dipped her and she laughed. She knew that their friends and family were watching them, but she didn't care. The only thing that mattered to her was this man that was holding her. The man that loved her even when all hope was lost.

_**You can take this world away  
You're everything I am  
Just read the lines upon my face  
I'm all about lovin' you **_

She put her hand on his cheek and whispered, "This day has been a dream. This wedding has been beautiful. It makes me remember the first time I met you and it was perfect. I hate to admit it, but you were right. This was perfect."

Castle laughed, "Can I get that in writing?"

He twirled her around again and brought her back into him, "Have I told you how beautiful you are?"

She laughed, "Yes, but I never get tired of hearing it."

"Good. Because I won't ever get tired of saying it."

Lanie watched as her best friend danced with the man that she loved. This was how it should have been. She should have married him years ago. That baby should be his. But, she admired the man for stepping up and being willing to raise Kate's daughter as his own. The smile on her friends face told Lanie how happy Kate was. She never thought she would say this, but Richard Castle was good for her.

Seeing how in love they were made her wish for someone to love. Maybe, just maybe she would find it one day soon.

They finished the dance and all of their guests clapped. Kate rolled her eyes and they walked back to their table. Soon, it was time for the friends to give their toasts. And it would make them realize how loved each of them were in the lives of their friends and family...

_**A/N Wedding toasts to follow...**_


	18. Chapter 18

_**A/N- Part 2 of the wedding.**_

Martha was the first one to stand up. She smiled at her son and new daughter in law, "I had hoped for years that Richard would find a woman to share his life with. A woman that would love him and Alexis. Then he fell in love with you. I couldn't ask for a better daughter in law. And that little girl you are carrying is going to be so loved. Thank you for loving my son. I know that isn't an easy thing to do." Martha watched as the others laughed, then turned back to the happy couple, "And thank you for loving Alexis. You are a remarkable woman and we are lucky to have you in our my son and new daughter! "

Kate choked up when Martha called her her daughter. She had been without a mother for so long. If she had to have an adoptive mother, she was glad that it was Martha Rodgers.

With that, Martha raised her glass and said, "Cheers!"

Everyone else raised their glasses and toasted to the happy couple.

Jim Beckett stood up and spoke next, "I had never thought that Katie would find a man that deserved her. A man that could compliment her. She found that man in Richard Castle. I had always hoped that she would find love again. The first time I had met him, I sensed that he would play an important role in my daughter's life. Any man that is willing to raise another man's child as his own is a standup guy in my book. I want to welcome you to our family. Thank you for making my Katie a very happy woman."

When her dad was done talking, Kate had tears in her eyes. She looked at her father and mouthed, "I love you daddy."

Esposito stood up and started his toast, "Well, these two finally got their act together. I can't tell you how hard it has been to watch these two dance around their feelings for each other. Everyone could see how they felt about each other. From the moment they met, they had a special connection. They make the perfect partners. Both in life and at the precinct. We are lucky to count him as family. Even if he's not related to us by blood. I hope you have a long and happy life with each other. And have lots more children. To the happy coupled! May they live a long and happy life!"

Lanie smiled and stood up, "I'll go next. What do you say about these two? They make the perfect couple. They finish each others sentences. Which, I've only seen my mother and father do. And they've been married for nearly thirty-five years. Kate, you are my best friend. I am glad that you've finally found your one true love. I hope the two of you have a long and happy life. Filled with lots of love and happiness. And lots of babies. I expect to have a lot more nieces and nephews."

Castle leaned over and whispered, "How many more?"

Kate whispered, "Shhh..."

"I have seen them at their worst. And now I am seeing them at their best. May you have many more years together. To Kate and Rick!"

That was when Ryan stood up, "I was the first one to realize that these two were in love with each other. Even before they did. They are remarkable together. As Kate's co-worker we have seen them at their best and at their worst. We have seen them when they are barely talking to each other. I know this for a fact. They both do their best work together. We call them mom and dad, because they are the foundation of our little family at the twelfth. Work was, in a word, boring before Castle joined us. Although joined might not be the right word, it's more like barged in and made a life for him in our department. We know that at first it was because of his friendship with the Mayor, but soon, everyone could tell that it was so much more. Kate was happier when he was around. She smiled more. She wasn't as closed off when he was around. We could all tell that she enjoyed her job more when he was around. Thank you Castle. From the bottom of my heart. To the happy couple!"

Kate looked over at her now husband and smiled. She saw his face turn a dark shade of red. Which surprised her. He was used to the spotlight. She reasoned that it was because he was surrounded by the people that he considered their family and dearest friends.

It was then that Kate got choked up. Six year old Alexis walked over to them. She hugged Kate and told her, "Thank you for marrying my daddy. I've always wanted a mommy like all my friends have. And now I do..."

She hugged her again and Kate started crying. She gathered Alexis in her arms and hugged her tightly. She wasn't sure how long she held her, until Alexis said, "You're squeezing me too tight mommy..."

Kate wiped her eyes and whispered, "Sorry sweetpea."

Alexis kissed her and went to sit back down. The rest of the toasts went by fairly quickly. Then, it was time for the Kate to throw the bridal bouquet. All the single ladies lined up and Kate turned around. Then she smiled and counted to three. When she threw the bouquet, everyone stepped aside. Everyone that is except for Lanie. The bouquet landed in her waiting hands. She gave the others a sideways look and said, "Seriously?"

Kate laughed and hugged her, "You're next Lanie."

She had never seen her best friend speechless before. Kate chuckled as she walked away. Especially when she heard Lanie say, "I'm going to get you for this. Some best friend you are."

Kate shook her head and smiled to herself. She loved her best friend and wanted her to be just as happy as she and Castle were. It might be a bit superstitious, but she would do whatever it took. Even if it meant stacking the deck a little bit in her friends favor.

Castle threw the garter and as with Lanie, everyone stepped aside and Esposito managed to end up with it. He looked at Castle and asked, "Seriously bro? Did you and the rest of the guys plan this?"

Castle laughed, "Didn't have to. None of the other guys wanted to catch it. So, when I suggested them stepping aside..."

"You're just mean. I will get you back for this. I know people."

Castle simply slapped his friend on the back and laughed.

Esposito searched out Lanie and asked, "Can you believe them?"

She shrugged and smiled, "I think it's sweet."

Esposito smiled, "Yeah. Yeah it is."

Lanie walked away. Leaving Esposito rethinking his stand on so many things. Mostly, he was thinking about how, maybe, just maybe he wanted what Castle and Beckett had found with each other. He wanted it with only one person, but he wondered if maybe, just maybe he had waited to long to realize it.

Finally, after a long day of celebrating, they were ready to leave for their honeymoon. Alexis wanted to go with them. The little girl couldn't understand why her mother and father wanted to go off without her. There had only been a handful of times that She hadn't went with her father on a trip. Castle finally promised her a very special trip when they returned.

Kate had laughed, "She has you wrapped around her little finger. You do realize that right?"

"Yeah. Since the day she was born. I'm going to be in bigger trouble when peanut is born. Three beautiful ladies in the same household. It can only be bad news for me. As well as every other man in the world."

"You need to learn to say no. To me and eventually the girls."

He shook his head, "No. See, I can do it..."

Kate laughed and rolled her eyes. The man was definitely in for a world of trouble when her daughter was born. Three women in the same household. She took his hand a squeezed softly. Then she whispered, "I love you. Even if you are completely whipped."

"Hey! I take offense to that."

"Well, if the shoe fits."

"When did you get so mean? You weren't like this before we got married."

"Oh I was. I just hid it better so that you would marry me."

"Ahhh, so your true colors come out at last."

Kate nodded and leaned over in her seat and kissed him softly on the cheek. She loved this man. And one of the things that made her love him was his big heart. He was a wonderful father and she realized that her daughter was a very lucky little girl. She also found herself hoping that their next baby was a boy. A little boy that looked just like his daddy.

Kate fell asleep with a smile on her face. She hadn't been this happy in ages and now she had a new family to call her own and nothing could make her happier...


	19. Chapter 19

_**A/N- Another M Rated chapter. Not too graphic, but it is M rated.**_

While Kate slept and Castle drove, he found himself thinking about how hard it had been for them to get to this point. If anyone had told him that he would be married to her, he would have told them that they were crazy. He'd loved her almost from the beginning, but she'd married someone else. Someone that didn't deserve her. But now, she was his and he was hers. The beautiful woman that he had married only hours earlier. The woman that was slowly making all of his dreams come true. Simply by loving him and his daughter.

Loving came easy to him. Sometimes he loved them when the object of his affections didn't deserve it. The past eight years hadn't been kind to him in the love department. He'd met Meredith through a friend of a friend. At the time, he'd been blown away by her beauty and she'd been blown away by the money he had in the bank.

He realized soon after they met that he didn't love her. It was simply an attraction. However, by the time he realized it, she was already pregnant with Alexis. So, despite everything telling him not to, he married her. The next three years were the worst years of his life. He had to be both mother and father to this tiny human being. The first three months were the worst. Meredith made it perfectly clear that her job was now done and she wanted no part of a squealing, crying baby.

She had given birth and that was the end of it. Thinking back, he couldn't remember ever hearing Meredith tell Alexis that she loved her daughter. She only held their daughter when she had no choice. Castle never left the little girl alone with her mother. Because the one time he had, he'd come home to a crying and red faced Alexis. Her diaper was soaking wet and had leaked onto the crib sheets. To top it all off, it was obvious that she hadn't eaten in hours.

That had led to his biggest fight with Meredith up to that point. She finally admitted that she had never signed up for this. She wanted him. Wanted the parties and the nightlife. Wanted her acting career. What she didn't want was to be stuck with a tiny person that couldn't talk or take care of herself. And only cried and pooped. She looked him dead in the eyes and said, "That's your job."

The beginning of the end finally came after he came home from a meeting with his publisher. Alexis was two by then and Meredith grudgingly watched her for him that afternoon. However, the moment he entered the loft that night he knew that something was wrong. It could have been the fact that Alexis was crying uncontrollably at the top of her lungs. Which, wasn't anything new. It had happened more times that he could count by then. No, it was the fact that he saw Meredith's close strewn around the loft. Her bra on the coffee table. A shirt here and her pants in another part of the loft. He shook his head and sighed. He'd had enough of her antics to last him a lifetime. They needed to have a talk and this time, she was going to listen to him.

After he calmed Alexis down and sat her in her high chair with a snack, he went out in search of his wife. When he walked into the bedroom that he shared with Meredith, the sight that greeted him nearly tore him in two. Meredith was in the bed. She wasn't alone. She was having sex with another man. Her director. Castle had cleared his throat and the two people in the bed barely stopped what they were doing. Barely paid him a second glance. They were so wrapped up in each other. It wasn't until he spoke that they had the decency to separate.

He had whispered, "Sorry to interrupt."

The worst part of it was that she didn't even look ashamed. She just looked annoyed. Annoyed because he had interrupted them.

Castle told her, "I'm taking Alexis out. When we get back I want you gone. I don't ever want to see you again. Anything you have to say to me can be said through our lawyers."

With that, he went and got Alexis and they left the loft. He was heartbroken, but determined not to let his daughter know. They stayed out for hours that night. Alexis had finally fallen asleep in his arms and he headed home with her. When he walked back in the house it was quiet and he knew that Meredith was gone. He hadn't seen her again and neither had Alexis. The thing that hurt the most was that she didn't even try and fight for their daughter. In fact, she had requested that she have no contact with her. Ever. Alexis hadn't seen her mother since and not a day went by that he didn't feel bad about depriving his daughter of a mother's love.

Castle was heartbroken for his daughter. Because every little girl needed their mother. However, her mother didn't need or want her.

He had given up on finding love again. Making due with the occasional fling. At least until he met Kate. Meeting her was like a breath of fresh air. He had been so close to telling her how he felt. Then she married Josh and his dreams went out the window. At least until they separated. Now, she was his and he was never going to let her go. She loved him and his daughter. And for him, that was all that mattered.

When they pulled up to the house, Castle smiled. It felt good to be back here. To be able to relax and just be together.

He leaned over and kissed her softly. She opened her eyes and he felt her smile against his lips. He pulled back and whispered, "We have arrived my wife."

Kate loved the sound of that. Being his wife sounded like music to her ears. She kissed him again and whispered, "Lets go inside."

As he opened the door, he asked, "Hungry?"

"A little."

He smiled and told her softly, "I'll make us a quick snack. Why don't you go get more comfortable?"

Kate looked at him and smiled. Then she nodded and made her way into the bedroom. She quickly undressed and looked at herself in the mirror. She was getting bigger every day. She knew that Castle still thought she was beautiful, but she couldn't help but wonder if he thought she was fat.

She dressed in a nightgown and went into the bedroom. She was suddenly tired and closed her eyes to sleep for just a moment.

Kate was still asleep when Castle crept into the bedroom. Walking quietly so as not to wake her, he made his way over to where Kate laid on the bed and knelt down in front of her. Leaning forward, Castle kissed her briefly on the lips. Kate stirred briefly and then he kissed her again. Kates's eyes fluttered open. "Hello beautiful," said Castle, smiling brightly.

"Don't lie to me Castle." Kate demanded loudly as she sat up and stretched, "I look like and feel like a beached whale and you know it!"

Castle laughed. "Yes, but you're my beached whale and I love you."

"Do you really?" Kate asked in a small voice, "Really and truly?"

"Really and truly."

As Castle's lips touched hers, Kate felt her desire ignite. She held him close, refusing to let him go as she pressed her lips more and more firmly against his. "Oh Rick." She whispered as she broke away to catch her breath, "I want you so much."

Castle simply smiled and touched his lips to hers once again. He kissed his way down her neck. Down to her breasts and held them in his hands. Then he whispered, "So damn beautiful Kate."

Then he kissed his way down her chest. Stopping only when he reached her pregnant belly. He put a hand on each side of her and stared intently. Kate watched as he kissed her stomach. So very softly. He peppered it with soft kisses. She very nearly came from the intense feelings that he was bringing out in her. And he hadn't even touched her. Not really. Despite feeling like a whale, she felt beautiful when he touched her.

He whispered softly to her, "I wish with my whole heart that this baby was mine in every way. Even though she isn't, I'm going to love her like she is." Another kiss to her stomach and he continued, "She will know that she is loved and was wanted from the moment I learned about her."

Castle let his hand drift between her legs. He felt Kate open to him and he heard her gasp when he parted her lower lips. Then he whispered, "You are so wet Kate..."

Kate could barely think, but she managed to choke out, "For you. Only for you."

He kissed his way down her stomach. She felt him work his fingers in and out of her. So very slowly. Dragging his thumb across her clit every so often. She shivered every time he touched her clit. She threw her head from side to side. Closing her eyes tightly, she moaned, "Oh Castle..."

He smiled and whispered, "Feel good?"

She nodded, "God yes!"

He smiled and whispered, "You are so beautiful. Inside and out. I want to taste you. Please?"

Kate looked at this wonderful man and smiled. She wondered what she had done to deserve a man like him in her life. She put her hand on his cheek and she simply nodded.

She closed her eyes when she felt his lips on her clit. It was a feather light kiss, but it caused her to lift off of the bed. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair, but he seemed so far away and her arms felt heavy and it was an effort to even lift them, much less run her hands through his hair. All she could do was lay back and allow the feelings to wash over her.

Castle spread her open slowly. He had done this many times before, but each time filled him with wonder and desire. He knew that he would never tire of pleasing her.

He wiggled his tongue over her clit softly. He could hear her moans and felt her moving. He put his fingers inside her and she immediately tightened around him. Moving in and out ever so slowly and licking her clit, soon pushed Kate over the edge. When she came, she came hard and pushed his head into her. She only stopped when her orgasm subsided.

She pulled him up to her and kissed him hard. Loving that she could taste herself on his lips. She finally pulled away and whispered, "That was incredible Rick... I've never felt anything like it. I..."

That was when she started crying. He started to worry and asked, "What's wrong?"

She looked into his eyes, "Nothing. You dear, sweet man. These are tears of joy. Joy at finally finding the love I have with you." She swallowed and whispered, "Make love to me Rick. Make me yours forever."

Looking into her eyes, he nodded and ran his hands over her stomach. He whispered, "You are my dream come true. My past and my future. My everything."

And with that, he entered her slowly. He held her hips and rocked softly into her. She put his hands up to cup his cheek and whispered, "I love you so much Richard Castle. You are the most amazing man I've ever known. You fill my heart with such love and incredible joy."

He put his hands on either side of her and leaned down to kiss her softly. He made sweet love to her all night long. Pausing only to eat the snack he made before curling up again with her in bed to take her from behind. So very slowly and softly. Until they fell asleep in the early morning hours. Their hands clasped together on her ever growing baby bump...


	20. Chapter 20

_**A/N- I meant to have this chapter posted earlier, but my husband took me out for my birthday lunch and then my friends took me out for dinner. LOL! So, since I can't sleep I decided to work on and post it now. LOL! No beta reader for this one, so any mistakes are 100% mine this time... Enjoy...**_

The rest of the honeymoon went much like that. They talked. They made love. The grew closer and closer to each other. Kate enjoyed spending all of her time with her husband. On their last night there, they made love on the beach. Neither caring if they were spotted by their neighbors. They were so wrapped up in each other. Afterwards, Kate whispered to him, "I wish we could stay here forever."

Castle kissed the top of her head and then nuzzled her neck. She put her hand around his neck and kissed him deeply. Castle smiled and stood up. Then he whispered, "We will come back soon. Maybe after the baby's born."

Holding his hand, she whispered, "We need to think about names for her. I would like to name her after our mothers."

Castle gave her a look and asked, "You like the name Martha?"

Kate laughed softly, "No, but I was think about using their middle names."

Smiling, Castle told her, "My mother's middle name is Rose."

Kate got a wistful look on her face and smiled. Then she whispered so softly Castle almost missed it, "Lillian..."

"Lillian? That was your mom's middle name."

Kate nodded and a tear fell. Then she whispered, "Lillian Rose. That's what I want to name her."

Castle turned her around and smiled. Then he whispered, "I think it's a beautiful name for a little girl who's bound to be just as beautiful as her namesakes. I..."

It was then that Castle remembered that the little girl that Kate carried couldn't possibly look like this mother. He wished for the thousandth time that the baby was his biologically. He knew that he would love her, but it made it a little bittersweet.

Kate noticed how quiet he had gotten on the way back into the house. She walked over to the couch and pulled him down beside her. She kissed him and whispered, "What's wrong?" She interrupted him, when he shook his head, "And don't tell me nothing. I know you better than that Richard Castle."

Despite his melancholy, he had to smile at the tone of voice she used. It was the same tone that she'd used when she had walked into the library to arrest him during the first case they worked together. It was the tone that told him not to mess with her. So, he sighed and told her, "I think you should name her after someone else. I mean besides my mom."

Kate was confused. He'd seemed happy about the name when they were first talking about. She smiled at him and framed his face with her hands, she kissed him so very slowly and then whispered, "Talk to me Castle."

He knew that, in the past, one of their biggest obstacles was talking to each other. Telling the other how they felt was always hard for him. However, now that they were married, he knew that he needed to be honest with her. Honest about his feelings. No matter how crazy they might sound. So, he put her hand on her stomach. Feeling their daughter move seemed to give him the strength he needed to tell her. So, he whispered, "She won't ever look like me or my family. Alexis is a redhead. So is my mother. How do I tell her..."

Kate interlocked her hands with his on her belly and whispered, "Even if she was your daughter, chances are she might not look like you. She might never have red hair. She could take after my side of the family."

"Or Josh's..." Castle interrupted her.

Kate nodded, "Or Josh's. You know what we are going to tell her?" Not waiting for him to respond she continued, "We are going to tell her that everyone looks different. They are their own person. And while you might not give her her eye color, hair color or even the shape of her face or her nose, you will give her the most important thing that she will ever need."

Castle sighed and asked, "What's that?"

Kate turned her head to the side and smiled. Then she whispered, "You already know the answer to that one Castle, but I will remind you. Love. You love her already. I can tell by the way you talk to her when you think I'm asleep and even when I'm awake. You kiss my stomach and tell her goodnight every night. Let me ask you a question. Do you think I am going to love Alexis any less because she's not mine biologically? She doesn't have my hair color or my eye color, but I love that little girl like she was my own daughter. It doesn't matter to me that Meredith is her mother. What matters to me is the way she hugs me before I go to work. Feeling her little arms wrap around my neck is the best feeling in the whole world to me. I want to be the mother that she deserves. Because she is a very special little girl Castle. You've done a wonderful job with her. Just like I know you will do with this little girl. Any man can be a father, but it takes a special man to be a daddy."

Castle looked at her with tears in his eyes and whispered, "You really believe that. Don't you?"

Kate nodded, "I do. Our daughters are so lucky Castle. They are going to be raised in a house full of love and laughter. And hopefully a few more brothers and sisters..."

"A few more? Just how many kids are we talking about?"

She smiled and told him, "Well, to field a baseball team we will need at least nine. So..." She laughed at the look on his face. It was something between terror and disbelief. She leaned forward and kissed him softly. Then she whispered, "I want to make babies with you Castle. We will know when the number is right. I want our daughters to have the brothers and sisters that we never did. I want our house to be filled with the laughter of children."

Castle couldn't have agreed more. He smiled and kissed her softly and then lifted her shirt and whispered, "I love you Lillian Rose Beckett.."

Kate shook her head, "It's Castle now. Remember?"

He nodded and whispered, "Lillian Rose Castle."

Kate laughed when their daughter decided to kick again. She whispered, "I think she likes her name Castle."

Castle couldn't have agreed more. The name was perfect for their daughter.

When Kate woke the following morning, she watched Castle sleeping. She had decided early on in their relationship that she loved watching him sleep. He looked so peaceful and all the worry lines disappeared from his forehead. She could have spent all morning watching him, but their daughter decided that he bladder made a great punching bag. So, she stumbled out of bed and made her way to the bathroom.

After taking care of that, she went to the kitchen to make breakfast. Despite not needing to cook much in the past, she really enjoyed spending time in the kitchen. She found herself looking forward to teaching Alexis and Lillian all she knew about cooking. Which, although it wasn't much, it was something that her mom had taught her as a young girl and she was looking forward to passing it onto her daughters and later, maybe their sons.

Castle woke to the smell of bacon cooking and soon made his way out to the kitchen. He made his way out to the kitchen and smiled when he saw her in the kitchen. She had plugged her i-Pod in and was singing one of her favorite songs, "I'm Taking The Wheel by SheDaisy. She was singing at the top of her lungs, using the spatula as a microphone. She looked like she was having more fun that she had in a long time. She looked beautiful.

**Everybody says it can't be done  
We drive each other crazy  
But you're still the one (still the one)  
You make it hard to stay, harder to run**

**It's a knock-down drag-out fight**  
**Tongue-tied and twisted we can go all night**  
**You're comin' with me and here's the deal**  
**Baby, slide on over**

When she saw him coming into the kitchen, she stopped and he saw her blush. She smiled at him and said, "I love this song. It's perfect for us..."

He had to admit that the parts he had heard her sing, we perfect for them. At least before they got their act together. Now, he knew that the song would still prove true at times, but they would need to work to make their partnership and marriage work.

So, after eating a wonderful meal, they packed up the car and headed back to reality. Neither knowing the surprise that awaited them back at the loft...

_**A/N If you can, take a listen to that song by SheDaisy. They are one of my favorite groups and the song really does fit Castle and Beckett...**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**A/N- I want to thank everyone for their reviews. This chapter is a bit out there, but still believable within context of my AU universe...**_

Walking into the loft late that afternoon, Castle could tell that there was something wrong. It was quiet except for the sound of his mother slamming cabinet doors in the kitchen. Castle knew immediately that it was his mother. When she saw that the happy couple was home, she stopped what she was doing and said, "Hello you two! Did you have a nice honeymoon?"

Kate smiled brightly and said, "It was amazing Martha. Thank you for watching Alexis for us."

Martha shrugged it off and said, "Anything to spend more time with my granddaughter. I can't wait until the baby gets here. She will be spoiled rotten also. At least if I have anything to say about it."

Her words sounded happy, but there was something in her tone that made Castle look at his mother and raise his eyebrows. She shook her head and mouthed silently, "Later."

After talking with Martha for a few more minutes, Kate gave her a hug and then kissed Castle softly and told him, "I'm going to go lay down. Riding in the car is tiring."

Castle laughed and when Kate was out of earshot, asked, "Okay, what's going on?"

Martha honestly didn't know how to tell her son what had happened earlier that day. She knew that he would hit the roof and she wasn't looking forward to telling him. So, she told said, "First, you have to promise that you won't get upset."

"I think can promise that."

Martha shook her head, "I wouldn't be so sure of that Richard."

"Okay. You are starting to scare me mother. Is everything alright with Alexis?"

Martha sighed and told him, "She's fine. Now.."

Castle narrowed his eyebrows and asked, "What happened?"

"Meredith happened."

"What? Meredith showed up here? When? Why didn't you call me?"

He had a thousand questions and Martha knew it. So, she told him, "She showed up here this morning. I could tell that she had been drinking. She smelled like a brewery and..."

"Mother..."

"Right, right. Get to the point. Well, I wouldn't let her in so she started screaming at the top of her lungs about how she had a right to see her daughter and that she wasn't leaving until I let her in. Not only did she wake Alexis up, but she made such a fuss that the neighbors ended up calling the police. Meredith went on and on about how you had kidnapped her daughter."

"She what? That bitch... How dare she? I... How did you get them to leave?"

"I called your lawyer and he brought a copy of the custody agreement. I don't think he was too happy about how early it was."

Castle shook his head, "With the money I pay him it doesn't matter. Did Meredith leave?"

"Eventually, but the damage had already been done."

"What do you mean?"

Martha sighed, "Alexis heard everything. Then Meredith saw her. Before I could stop her she rushed over and picked her up. Started kissing her and telling her how her mommy loved her and that she was going to take her to California and away from you."

Castle closed his eyes and asked, "What?!"

"Alexis started crying and hitting Meredith. She told Meredith that she wasn't her mommy. That her mommy and daddy were in the Hamptons. Meredith tried to tell her that she was wrong and Meredith tried to walk out the door with her."

"She what?!"

"The police officers had to threaten her with arrest. She finally left, but promised that she would be back."

Castle ran his hand through his hair and shook his head, "Why is she showing up now? After all these years. Why didn't you call me mother?"

"I tried, but your phone went to voicemail. Your wedding to Kate made headlines everywhere. And the fact that she is pregnant is also big news. I mean, you are a best selling author and very well known. Meredith said that you don't need two children. That Kate won't want her getting in the way of the new baby. That Kate won't want her anymore. So she said that she wants Alexis back."

"Does she think that Alexis is a puppy? That she won't remember what she did to her?"

Alexis made her way downstairs when she heard her father's raised voice. She could tell that he was upset. She wondered if he was upset at her and would send her to live with her real mother. Her scary mother. She ran into Kate and her father's room and found Kate laying on the bed.

Kate could feel a pair of eyes staring at her. When she opened her eyes, she saw Alexis staring at her. She could tell that something was wrong with the little girl. When she saw her bottom lip tremble, Kate whispered, "What's wrong sweetpea?"

Alexis climbed into bed beside her and buried her head in Kate's chest. Kate could feel the sobs wracking the little girls body. Kate held her tightly and kissed the top of her head. She had no idea what was going on, but something had obviously upset the little girl.

Kate finally asked again, "Did you have a bad dream?"

Alexis shook her head, "My other mommy was here today... She said..."

Kate closed her eyes. Meredith. Shit...She finally asked, "What did she say?"

"She said that she was going to take me back to live with her in California. That you and daddy didn't want me anymore because of your baby and..."

At hearing Alexis' heartbroken words, Kate saw red. She wanted to find the other woman and tear her hair out. One strand at a time. Why would she say those things to her? Much less tell Alexis that Kate didn't want her. Meredith didn't know her. Didn't know how much she loved Alexis. Kate kissed the top of her head and told her, "That isn't true Alexis. Your father and I love you very, very much."

"But I'm not yours... I..."

Alexis was so much like her father that Kate had to smile. She finally told her, "Do you love me any less because I'm not your real mommy?"

Alexis shook her head, "No. I love you lots."

"And I love you. You and your father are the best thing to happen to me in a long, long time Alexis. I couldn't imagine my life without you. You or your father."

"She said that she was going to take me away from daddy. I don't want to go anywhere with her. Please don't make me go with her."

Whatever Meredith had said to, or in front of Alexis had scared the little girl badly. Kate kissed her and whispered, "You aren't going anywhere sweetpea. I can promise you that."

"Will you protect me?"

Kate felt like crying for Alexis. She shouldn't be worrying about needing protection. She should be worrying about school and her friends. Not if someone was going to take her away from the father that loved her. So, she nodded and told her, "You can count on it."

"I love you mommy."

Kate smiled at the little girls words, "I love you to sweetpea. Do you want to sleep here with me?"

Feeling her nod, Kate put her arms around her and held her close. After a few moments, she could tell that the little girl was fast asleep. Kate kissed the top of her head and whispered, "I will always keep you safe Alexis. Always."

Kate fell asleep shortly afterwards. That was how Castle found them when he went in to talk to his wife. Seeing them curled up in bed together made his heart do flip flops. He smiled and got into bed behind Kate. Not bothering to even take his clothes off. He put an arm around Kate's waist and it came to rest on the hand she was using to hold Alexis. Soon, he was fast asleep also.

Martha had been expecting her son and daughter-in-law to come out to the kitchen together. When they didn't, she went looking for them. Seeing the three people she loved curled up in bed together made her heart do crazy things. She had always known that Kate was good for her son and granddaughter, but seeing the protective way she held little Alexis, gave her positive proof. She knew that Kate would do anything to protect Alexis. She shut the bedroom door and went out to the living room to sit and think about the days events.

She knew why Meredith had shown up there that morning. She wanted money and she knew that the easiest way to get it from her son was to threaten to take Alexis from him. Martha was damned if she would let her son give that gold digging bitch another dime of his money. No, she had walked out of their lives all those years ago and she would be damned if she was going to let her walk back in and hurt her granddaughter and son once again.

She had nearly destroyed them once. She would be damned if she would let her do it again. Meredith had given up all rights to her daughter once. It was time to remind her of the terms of their divorce. Terms that she had violated. So, she smiled and picked up the phone to call her former daughter-in-law to set up a meeting. A meeting to remind her that no one crossed Martha or her family...


	22. Chapter 22

_**A/N- My original plan was to have Martha confront Meredith alone, but Kate sorta hijacked it. LOL! I think this turned out pretty good.**_

The next morning, Kate and Castle took Alexis to school before they headed into the precinct. Once they left, Martha picked up the phone and called Meredith. Inviting her over to the loft. Martha waited impatiently for her to arrive. When she heard the knock on the door, she opened it immediately.

"Come in."

Meredith walked inside and eyed the older woman suspiciously, "You said on the phone that you needed to see me."

"I did. Listen, I'm going to get right down to it. You are going to stay away from my son and granddaughter."

Meredith laughed, "And why would I do that?"

"It's simple really. When you divorced Richard the reasons for it were kept out of the celebrity news magazines. More for Alexis' well being than yours. It would have ruined your career. A mother abandoning her only daughter. A daughter that threatened to take the spotlight off of you."

"What can I say? I made a mistake and I want to do it over again."

Martha laughed and Meredith sensed something evil in the laugh, "See, this isn't like one of your movies Meredith. You don't get another take at playing the loving and concerned mother. No. You only get one shot at that and you lost. Richard and Alexis are happy without you in their lives. Neither one of the need you anymore."

"I'm still her mother."

Martha shook her head, "Not according to the parental dissolution papers that you signed. You gave up all rights and responsibilities to her the day that you divorced my son. And do you remember the penalty for showing back up here?"

Martha watched as Meredith swallowed hard and said, "I will owe him five million dollars. But she my daughter and I have every right to..."

That was when Martha heard Kate say loudly, "She's not your daughter anymore!"

Both women turned and looked at the younger woman. Martha was shocked and said, "Kate! I thought you and Richard were at work."

Kate nodded, "I was, but I forgot something." Then Kate shot Meredith a look that bordered on disdain and contempt. Then, she turned back to Martha and said, "I forgot something. Castle is with Ryan and Esposito. So, I figured that I would head over here and.. What is _**she**_ doing here? Is she bothering you again?"

Martha could see how fiercely protective Kate was of her and their family. She was ready to go to battle for not only Richard and Alexis, but for Martha. Smiling, Martha told her, "I actually called her."

Kate turned around and asked, "You what?! How could you call her after everything she did to Alexis and..."

Martha held up her hands, "I was just reminding Meredith of the consequences of her showing back up here again. See, she wants money from Richard and she knows that the easiest way to get that is by threatening to take away the single most important thing in his life."

"Alexis."

Martha nodded, "Yes. I let her know that she is not welcome here. And if she insists on showing up here, well I will just remind Richard of that nice little codicil that his lawyer insisted on adding to the divorce decree."

Meredith decided to plead to the woman as mothers, "Sure you both can understand why I want her in my life again. I'm here mother and she's my only little girl and I love her."

Kate felt a rage unlike any that she had felt before. How could this woman stand here and say that she loved Alexis? Castle had told her how she had treated the little girl before their divorce. No one deserved to be treated like that. She looked at Meredith and said, "You don't get to say that you love her anymore and just because you gave birth to her doesn't make you her mother. Anymore than I am. I love that little girl like she was my own daughter."

"But she's not."

She turned on Meredith and said, "No, she's not! But she isn't your daughter either. Do you know what her favorite color is?"

Meredith looked at her and said snidely, "Pink..."

Kate laughed harshly and said, "No! It's blue! Do you know that she wants a puppy for Christmas this year? Or that she's no longer afraid of the dark? She's afraid of horses, but not ponies. Do you know what it's like when she wraps her arms around you and tells you that she loves you? No! Because you were never her mother. You never could be Meredith! She isn't yours anymore! Castle isn't yours anymore! They have a new life with me. The three of us are a family. Soon, we will be four and you aren't needed."

Martha was stunned at the way that Kate was talking to her. She had meant for this to be her telling Meredith to get out of their lives, but Kate was doing a better job that she ever could have.

Meredith simply stared at the other woman and said, "Wait until I tell Richard about this. I..."

Kate shook her head and laughed, "When are you going to get it Meredith? Rick is mine. Not yours. Mine. You gave him up nearly four years ago and for that I will be forever thankful to you, but he doesn't love you anymore. He married me. He loves me. We are having a baby together. My name is Katherine Castle! He is my husband. Mine."

Martha smiled and then said, "I think you made your point Katherine. Now, Meredith, please remember the five million other reasons why you are going to turn around and leave."

Meredith swallowed, "Leave?"

"Leave this loft. Leave this state. Leave my son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter alone. Forever. I don't ever want to see your face here again."

"And if I refuse?"

Martha smiled, "Then I will remind Richard of the codicil in the divorce papers. Then money you made him pay you. Money that will need to be paid back if you break the agreement."

Then, Kate smiled and added, "Then I will make sure that you are so busy taking care of the 'warrants' out for your arrest that you won't have time to bother my family."

"Warrants? I don't have any warrants."

Kate laughed, "No, no you don't, but I can make your life a living hell. So much of a living hell that you will be begging me to let you leave the state."

"I could report you for this."

Martha laughed, "Like anyone would believe you."

"Why are you doing this? All I want is my daughter back."

Martha shook her head, "No, you see dollar signs. You figure that you can get Richard to pay you off again. Just like before. Well, I got news for you sweetheart, that isn't going to happen this time. This time, you are going to turn around, get on the first plane back to LA and never show your face in this state again."

She looked at Martha and then at Kate. Something in the way that the women looked at her made her realize that they weren't going to back down and she wasn't going to win any argument with them. With either of them. So, she turned to leave, but Kate stopped her and said, "You didn't realize how much you lost when you left them. Did you?"

Meredith shook her head, "No..."

"Well, you lost more than just a beautiful little girl. She's amazing. Has an amazing heart. And that has nothing to do with you. That has everything to do with her father. He made her into the amazing little girl she is today. She doesn't need you in her life. She has a father that loves her."

"She needs a mother also and I..."

Kate shook her head, "She has a mother."

"You? You aren't her mother and..."

"I'm more of a mother to her than you are. Than you ever were or could hope to be. One day, you will realize what you've lost. I feel so sorry for you Meredith."

Meredith shrugged and said, "If you say so. I have a job that I love and feel sorry for you. You obviously can't say that same. Nothing can be better than the feeling of accomplishment I get from my acting work. I feel sorry for you."

"No Meredith. I feel sorry for you. Feeling her wrap her arms around my neck and her telling me how much she loves me." She felt the tears in her eyes and continued, "That is the best feeling in the world. Hearing her call me mommy... I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world. No job can be better than that. I might not get paid, but it's the most fulfilling thing I've ever done in my life. I would give up everything for them. For both of them."

Meredith looked at the two women and shook her head. She would never be like them. Never be content to raise a family or settle down with one man for the rest of her life. She finally nodded and said, "I'm still her mother and..."

Kate and Martha both shook their heads and said, "No you aren't!"

The two women looked at each other and smiled. Meredith was surprised at how well they seemed to get along with each other. She'd never had that with her former mother-in-law. She finally sighed and said, "Well, I can tell where I'm not wanted."

Martha said snidely, "Apparently you can't."

Meredith gave Martha a dirty look and then turned to Kate and said, "Would you tell Richard something for me?"

"It depends on what it is that you want me to tell him."

"Tell him that I'm sorry for everything. I will leave and never come back."

Kate nodded, "I will tell him that."

Martha and Kate turned to watch her leave. Both sighing with relief when the door shut behind her. Then Kate turned to Martha and the two women hugged. Then Kate asked, "Do you think she will go away for good?"

"If she knows what's good for her she will. Thank you."

Kate looked at Martha and asked, "For what?"

"For loving my son and my granddaughter. I never thought that I would see them this happy again. Alexis really loves you and so does Richard."

Kate swallowed hard and then said, "I love them Martha. So, so much. They've given me so much happiness in the past few months. Happiness that I never thought I would have again. They've made me part of their family and for that I can't ever repay them."

Martha hugged her and whispered, "And they wouldn't want you to repay them. They just want you to love them."

Kate smiled and the two women embraced. Then she whispered, "I don't think we should tell Castle about our talk with Meredith."

Martha nodded, "Agreed. Sometimes, what he doesn't know won't hurt him."

Kate laughed and then looked at her watch, "I really have to go. He's going to think I got lost or something. Thank you again Martha. For everything."

Martha simply waved her off and smiled as Kate walked back out the door. Her son had picked a wonderful woman to fall in love with this time. A woman that loved all of his little quirks and was able to look beyond his sometimes childish behavior. A woman that was smart and sensitive. A woman that deserved a man like her son. Martha would always fight for those around her and Katherine had just become one of the few that Martha would always do anything for. No matter what...


	23. Chapter 23

_**A/N- I decided that it was time for a bit of angst. So, this is what I came up with...**_

Everything was soon back to normal for the new family. Alexis wanted to sleep with them for a few days afterwards, but for the most part, she was back to a normal, happy little girl.

At seven months pregnant, Kate was finding a lot of things harder to do. She had gone from wearing her heels to wearing flats. She tried to stay at her desk, but there were times when going out into the field was inevitable.

Castle was at home on the day that could have changed things for everyone. He had a chapter due at the end of the week and it had been pretty quiet around the station lately. They had gotten a call about the location of their suspect in the latest case. She had been so bored lately that Ryan and Esposito decided to include her on the arrest of a suspect. It was supposed to be routine and she was covering the back of his apartment building. However, when she spotted the suspect heading down the fire escape, her police training kicked in. She started running after him.

She had tackled him and almost had him in handcuffs. That's when the arrest went terribly wrong. The man started kicking at everyone and everything. Kate's center of balance had been off lately and he managed to knock her to the ground. She fell and hit her head. She felt all the air leave her lungs and she saw stars for a brief moment. She heard Ryan ask, "You okay Beckett?"

She could only nod and then managed to whisper, "I'm fine."

However, when Esposito helped her up, she felt a sharp pain ripple through her stomach. She hissed in pain and this made both men turn around and look at her. Before she could say anything else, she crumbled to the ground and the blackness surrounded her.

Espo immediately called for an ambulance and then called Castle. He wasn't looking forward to making that call. He heard Castle answer with a cheery, "Hi sweetheart. I know you miss me, but..."

Esposito interrupted him and said, "Castle. It's Esposito."

Castle asked, "What happened?"

"There's been an incident. She's been hurt. They are taking her to Presbyterian hospital."

"What?! Why was she out in the field? She was supposed to stay at her desk and..."

"We needed her to watch for us and..."

"I'm leaving now."

Ryan took their suspect back to the station while Espo rode in the ambulance with Kate. He prayed that everything would be okay with her and the baby. It took them nearly twenty minutes, but they finally arrived at the hospital.

Castle had beat them there and was nervously pacing the floor. When Esposito walked in, he pounced, "What happened?"

Esposito shook his head and told him, "It was a routine arrest. She had been so bored lately. She wasn't supposed to get hurt. She had him in cuffs, but he started kicking and knocked her off balance. She fell and hit her head. The paramedics suspect she might have a concussion, but she grabbed her stomach before she blacked out."

"What?! Is the baby okay?"

"I'm not sure."

Castle went off in search of a nurse and announced, "My wife was brought in here a few minutes ago. She's pregnant and..."

The woman smiled sympathetically at him and said, "The doctors are with her now. They will be out as soon as possible."

All Castle could do was nod and go sit in the waiting room. Praying that his wife and daughter would be okay. After less than an hour, the doctor finally called out, "Mister Castle?"

Castle was up and over to him in less than two seconds. He called out, "That's me!"

The doctor smiled and told him, "Your wife is fine and asking for you."

"The baby?"

The doctor nodded, "The baby is just fine. Although we are going to keep her overnight for monitoring. She took a nasty fall and we want to make sure that everything is okay with the baby."

Castle let out a deep breath and nodded. Then he asked, "Can I see her?"

"I'll take you to her."

Castle followed the doctor and soon, he was walking into her room. She turned when she saw him and smiled. Her hand was resting on her stomach and it was obvious that she had been crying. He sat down beside her and asked, "How are you feeling?"

She shrugged and whispered, "Scared."

He kissed her hand and then said, "That's normal."

She shook her head and whispered, "I shouldn't have gone with them. I was just so bored Castle. I hate doing paperwork and..."

"Shhh...What's done is done."

"I put her in danger...What kind of mother am I?"

Castle smiled, "You are a wonderful mother Kate. You shouldn't have been out in the field, but what's done is done and you are both fine. That's all that matters. I think this just proves that you shouldn't go out in the field anymore. At least until after she's born."

Kate shook her head, "I can't promise you that. It's who I am. It's what I do."

Castle sighed, "Well, you need to start thinking about the fact that your seven months pregnant and you can't do everything you normally do."

"You think I'm not aware of that Castle? It's none of your business anyway."

"What do you mean it's none of my business? I love and worry about both of you. If anything was to happen to either of you..."

"Well, we aren't your concern. I'm fine and she's..."

"She's what?"

"She's not yours."

Castle did a double take and then asked, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that she's mine. I make all the decisions. Not you. Me. If I want to go out into the field then I will."

Castle just looked at her and wondered what had made this conversation go so terribly wrong. So, he asked, "What happened to all those words you spoke. Telling me that it didn't matter to you or not that she wasn't mine. That all that matter was that I love her. Was that all a lie?"

Kate turned away from him and closed her eyes. Then she whispered, "Maybe love just isn't enough after all."

"Fine. You know what? You're right. You're always right Kate. You always make all the decisions Kate. Just like you always have. Once again, you hold all of the cards in this relationship. If you decide to include me again, call me. I won't come back until then... I need to pick up Alexis from school. My daughter needs me..."

With that he walked out of the room and stormed off. Kate wanted to call out for him. She wasn't sure how the conversation had gone so horribly wrong. He had only been trying to protect her, but she had taken it the wrong way and lashed out at him. She put her hand on her stomach and felt her daughter kicking again. She turned onto her side and cried tears of anguish. Why did she always end up hurting him? The one man in her life that loved her no matter what and she had to find a way to push him away at every turn. She wondered if this time was the time that would push him away forever.

After picking Alexis up from school, he started cooking dinner. Alexis asked innocently enough, "When is mommy coming home?"

"It's Kate and she's not coming home tonight. She's in the hospital."

"Is she okay daddy?"

"She will be."

Then Castle started slamming the pots and pans onto the counter. Alexis wanted to ask where she was, but it was obvious to her that he father was in a bad mood. So, she walked over to him and hugged his leg.

Castle stopped what he was doing and sat on the floor. He gathered Alexis in his arms and hugged her tightly. Wondering if he'd made a mistake of marrying Kate too soon. Alexis was in love with her and it would kill him if she lost another woman that she'd come to think of as her mother. Kate was obviously have second doubts about him raising her baby. To be honest, he should have seen it coming. His track record with women was not that great. He just regretted that his choice this time would possibly hurt his little girl. That was why he tried to prevent his daughter from meeting his women friends.

Kate had been different. She had loved his little girl and that had made him fall even more in love with her and in turn, the baby she carried. It didn't matter to him whether the little baby had any of his traits. All he wanted was to love her and be loved in return.

Castle decided that cooking dinner wasn't going to happen. So, he asked his daughter, "How about pizza for dinner?"

Alexis could tell how upset her father was, so she tried to put on a happy face for him, "Sure daddy. Can we have pineapple on it?"

Castle made a funny face and it made Alexis giggle. Then he smiled and said, "Pineapple is not a topping for pizza my darling daughter."

"It's really good daddy."

"Who got you pineapple pizza anyway?"

"Mo-uh Kate of course."

"Of course. How about if we get our pizza and then we will go see Kate?"

Alexis looked hopeful, but cautious. She finally nodded and said, "Okay. I'm going to draw her a picture."

Castle smiled and he ordered the pizza. He needed to try and make things right with her. So, they would go visit her tonight. Whether she wanted them there or not.

Meanwhile Kate was laying in her bed at the hospital looking at her cell phone. She was willing it to ring. To notify her that she had a text from Castle. Anything. She finally sighed and sent him a message: _**I'm sorry, I was wrong.**_

When her phone still stayed quiet, she wondered if she had ruined the best thing that had ever happened to her. Had her daughter lost another father because of her selfish actions? She closed her eyes and she knew that she had to fix this. She had been upset because of the events of the day. Nothing Castle had done had upset her. Not really. She had been an emotional wreck and him telling her what to do, well it had made her revert back to her old habits.

She heard someone come into the room much later and thought it was another nurse or doctor, so she didn't bother to open her eyes. At least not until she felt a tiny pair of arms hug her stomach softly. She knew immediately it was Alexis and tears filled her eyes and she bent down to kiss her on the head, "Hey sweetpea. How was school today?"

Alexis smiled, "I had fun. We played outside all day because it's so nice out and..."

Kate caught her husband's gaze and held it until he looked away. She could tell that he was still hurt by her words earlier. He had every right to be. What she had said to him was unforgivable. She wanted to go back and take the words away.

Finally Castle looked away and said, "Alexis drew a picture for you."

Kate smiled, "You did?"

Alexis smiled, "I did Ka-mommy.." Then Alexis looked at her father and asked, "Is it okay?"

Castle nodded and Alexis hugged her tightly. Before they could say anything else, Lanie and Esposito came into the room. Castle stepped aside to let them talk to her. He told Alexis, "Lets go for a walk pumpkin."

Alexis didn't question her father, she simply took his hand and they walked out of the room. Kate sighed and Lanie asked, "Is everything okay? When we came in you could have cut the tension with a knife."

Kate shook her head, "He was upset earlier. He said that I shouldn't have been out with the guys. He said that I can't do everything I normally do. I don't like people telling me what to do and I lashed out at him. He said that I have to think of the baby. I told him that it isn't any of his business. That it's my body and my baby..."

"You didn't?"

Kate nodded and wiped the tears off of her cheek, "I did. I hurt him badly Lanie. You should have seen the look on his face. I hurt him."

"You know he was right don't you?"

Kate smiled, "I do. I just don't like anyone telling me that I'm wrong. I didn't mean to say that she wasn't his baby. She is in every single way that counts. I need to make this right."

Lanie nodded, "You do. You know the only reason he said that was because he loves you."

"I know and the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. I regretted it immediately, but it was too late."

They talked for a few more minutes and then, they left and Kate had another visitor. Captain Roy Montgomery showed up in her room. He had flowers and asked, "Where's Castle?"

Kate smiled, "He took Alexis out so I could visit with Lanie."

He laughed and then took out a bunch of papers from his coat pocket. He handed them to Kate and said, "Those are your maternity papers."

"I'm not ready to..."

Montgomery held up a hand and said, "I know you aren't, but after today I don't want to risk it happening again. You have two choices. Either you go on maternity leave or full desk duty. Having you out in the field is dangerous to you and your daughter. If anything happened to either one of you I would never forgive myself for not stopping you sooner."

"But Sir, I..."

"No but Sir. These are official orders."

She gave him a look and asked, "Did Castle put you up to this?"

Montgomery looked offended and said, "Do you really have to ask that? He doesn't own me. No, this is all my own doing. When I heard about what happened, my heart sank. After everything you've been through with this baby, to lose her because of something that could be prevented, no, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself."

Kate nodded, "I need to talk it over with Castle."

"Of course. You are off until Monday."

"But.."

Montgomery gave her a look that didn't ask for argument. She finally nodded and said, "Yes Sir."

They visited for a bit and then Castle returned. He shook the other mans hand and then turned to Kate, "I need to get her home. She's tired."

He leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead. Leaving Kate wondering if they were beyond hope this time. If she'd finally succeeded in driving him away for good...


	24. Chapter 24

_**A/N- More angst, but they are talking things out...**_

When morning came, Kate woke from a restless nights sleep. She kept replaying her conversation with Castle over and over in her mind. She wondered if he would pick her up from the hospital or if she would have to call a taxi. So, she called Castle and when he answered she asked, "I'm ready to go home."

"Okay..."

"I can call a cab if you're busy. I don't want to be a bother."

Castle sighed, "You're not a bother. I'll be there in an hour. Bye Kate."

He hung up the phone before she could say anything else. She sighed and closed her eyes. She felt her whole world crashing down around her. All because of her stupid pride. Had she ruined the best thing that had ever happened to her? She could only wonder and worry as she waited for him. She kept her eyes on the door. Waiting for the man she loved and the man that she had hurt so terribly the day before. Hoping that she could find the words to make it up to him. Praying that it wasn't too late to ask for his forgiveness.

She must have fallen asleep waiting for him. Because the next thing she knew, she felt his lips on hers and his hand on her stomach. She smiled sadly at him and whispered, "Hello..."

"Are you ready to go?"

She nodded and started to get out of the bed. Castle took her hand and helped her up. Then he whispered, "Sorry."

"What for?"

"For helping you..."

"Don't Castle..."

"Don't what? Don't care about you? Don't care about the baby? I need you to tell me what I'm allowed to fucking care about here! Because the last I knew, I'm your husband and allowed to at least care about you if no one else. I really need you to tell me Katherine. Because I'm drowning here and you are holding the only life preserver."

She could hear the unspoken words in his statement. He was still hurting over what she had said to him yesterday. She took his face in her hands and kissed him softly. Then she whispered, "I'm so sorry Rick. I didn't mean what I said. I was scared and I knew that I was wrong. Wrong for going out into the field again. I knew that my center of balance was off, but I don't want to give up my job. I couldn't lash out at the man that did this to me..."

"So you lashed out at me."

"I did. And I'm sorry."

He shook his head and told her, "I can't do this Kate."

"You're leaving me?"

"No, but I can't do this every time we get into a fight. I can't wonder if I'm going to fall even more in love with your daughter and you will take her away from me. Because she isn't mine in every way that really counts. How many times are you going to throw it in my face? What happens when she wants something and I say yes and you don't like it? Are you going to say no and use the fact that I'm not her real dad against me?"

"I wouldn't do that Rick."

"No? Well you do it every single time you get mad at me now. Every time I get worried about you or her. You tell me it isn't my concern. It either has to be all or nothing. You told me that the only thing that matters is that I love her. Well, I do. I love both of you. I'm willing to raise her as my daughter. I won't treat her any different that I do Alexis or any other child we might or might not have together in the future, but..."

"But what?"

"But you can't keep doing this Kate. I don't think my heart can take it anymore."

It was then that she rushed over to him. She couldn't lose him. Not again. She'd lost him for the three years that she'd been married to Josh and it had killed her. Now, knowing how great they were together, it would destroy her. She smiled at her husband and whispered, "I'm so sorry Castle. I'm sorry for saying that she isn't your daughter. Because she couldn't be more your daughter. She was very still last night."

Despite being upset at her, Castle looked at her in alarm and asked, "Is she okay? I thought the doctors gave you the okay to leave. Should I call them? I..."

She smiled and told him, "She likes when you talk to her. I tried, but she didn't respond to my voice. At least not in the same way she does to you. I think she was mad at me for not making you stay. So, she hardly moved at all last night." Then she took his hand and pressed it to her stomach and whispered, "She's been moving a lot since you got here."

As if to prove a point, her daughter kicked beneath her hand. Castle closed his eyes and whispered, "You two are killing me here."

"She doesn't know any better and her mom should know better." She pulled the maternity leave papers out of her bag and showed it to him, "Roy brought these by last night. He gave me a choice. Go on leave or desk duty."

"What did you tell him?"

"That I needed to talk to you."

"Why?"

"Because, you're my husband and we need to make these decisions together. I want to make every single important decision together. And even the little ones. I love you Richard Castle and I'm sorry for saying that you aren't her father. Because you are. In every single way that counts."

"What about the next time you get upset at me? Because I'm always going to worry about you. Both of you. Maybe we should take a break and think about whether or not we want the same things. Before anyone else is hurt by our actions."

"No! No Castle I don't want that. I love you and I need you. We both need you."

As if she agreed with her, the baby kicked again at her words and Castle's heart melted. He finally kissed her softly and whispered, "Okay..."

Kate knew that she had a lot to make up for. She kissed him and whispered, "Take me home Richard Castle."

He nodded and the nurse came to push her out in the wheelchair. Castle opened the door and helped Kate into the car. Then he got behind the wheel and started the car. He pulled out into traffic and once he was headed home, he took her hand and gave it a squeeze. Then, he whispered softly, "I love you. Both of you."

Kate put his hand on her stomach and whispered, "We love you to."

Castle smiled and he knew then that everything would be fine. As long as they talked things out in the future, things would be just fine. What they didn't realize was that there was one other person that had been hurt by their fight. A little girl that wondered if she would have to choose between her father and the woman she had come to love like a mother...


	25. Chapter 25

_**A/N- More angst, but they are talking things out...**_

Kate went straight to bed when they got home that morning. She was still tired from the stress of the day before and from worrying about the baby. So, Castle brought her breakfast in bed and they talked. They talked about everything and nothing. They finally talked about her maternity leave. Even though she hated to admit it, Montgomery was right. She wasn't on the top of her game and if she continued being stubborn about staying in the precinct, she was going to risk not only her life, but the life of her unborn daughter and the other officers helping them. So, she made the hardest decision of her life. She was going to go on early maternity leave.

Castle smiled and asked, "Are you sure?"

"No, but it's best for everyone involved. It's not fair to Espo or Ryan. They can be expected to watch out for me."

So, she took the papers and signed them. Then she gave them to Castle and told him to take them to the precinct for her. He hugged her and promised to be back soon. He needed to pick up Alexis from school and then he was going to cook them a special meal.

Kate closed her eyes and soon fell asleep. When she opened her eyes, it was almost completely dark in the bedroom. She could hear Alexis and her father laughing in the kitchen. She put her slippers on and padded out to the kitchen. When Castle saw her, he smiled and said, "You finally decided to join us!"

Kate smiled and went to kiss Alexis on the head, but the little girl moved away quickly. Kate's eyebrows furrowed and she wondered what happened. Alexis had never done that before. Maybe she was imagining things.

She smiled and asked Alexis, "How was school sweetpea?"

Alexis shrugged and whispered, "Fine..."

Kate caught Castle's eyes and asked, "What's wrong?"

He shrugged and shook his head. Then he asked his daughter, "Did you do anything special at school today pumpkin?"

"We made stick men today. Then, when we went to recess we played kickball and I scored. Twice."

Alexis went on and on about her day. Kate could tell that Alexis was purposely evading her questions and answering her fathers. She finally sighed, picked up her glass of juice and walked back into the bedroom.

After putting her glass down, she climbed back into bed and pulled the covers up around her. She had lost her appetite. She wondered what she had done wrong. Because whether Castle knew it or not, his daughter was all but ignoring her and her attempts to talk to her.

She wasn't sure how long she had been staring at the door before she heard her husband come into the room. She felt the bed move and then he slipped his arm around her waist. Then he whispered, "What's wrong?"

She shrugged and whispered, "Nothing..."

"Kate. Talk to me."

Kate sighed and then whispered, "Alexis... She doesn't love me anymore."

Her tears fell down onto the pillow and sobs shook her body. She didn't know what she did. Castle shook his head, kissed her neck and whispered, "She loves you Kate..."

"No she doesn't. I asked her how school was and she barely answered me. Then, you asked her and she was talking like a little parrot. What did you say to her about our fight?"

Castle hadn't said a word to her about what had happened. It was necessary. However, when she had went to bed that night, Martha had come over and he had told her what happened. Crap. If Alexis had heard about their fight, she might think that she had to choose sides. Something that he would never ask her to do. He finally whispered, "I'll be back."

She barely heard him. She simply closed her eyes and sighed.

Meanwhile, Alexis was sitting at the breakfast bar coloring. She was swinging her legs and for all appearances, she looked happy. Castle looked at his daughter and asked, "Can we talk pumpkin?"

Alexis stopped coloring, "Sure daddy."

"Did you hear me talking to Grams last night?"

Alexis nodded slowly, "Yes."

"You do know that even if Kate and I are mad at each other, we still love you."

"I know you love me daddy."

"You do?"

Alexis nodded, "Yeah. You're my daddy. You have to love me."

Castle smiled, "And Kate loves you to."

Alexis shook her head, "No she doesn't. She's not my real mommy. She will have her own baby soon and she won't need me. You told Grams that she doesn't think that you will love the baby because she isn't really yours. I know you will though daddy. She's probably just going to leave us anyway. Just like my mommy did."

"No she won't pumpkin. She loves you."

Alexis shrugged, "No, she loves you and she's probably just pretending to love me. It's okay daddy. I had a mommy for a little while and it was nice, but I'm better off without one."

Neither Castle nor Alexis realized that Kate had walked out into the living room. She had heard the entire conversation and she was silently shaking her head. Nothing that Alexis was saying was true. She truly loved Alexis. And it wasn't because she loved her father. She was a bright, funny little girl and Kate had felt so lucky to have her as a daughter.

She walked into the kitchen and whispered, "I do love you Alexis."

Alexis shook her head and whispered, "No. No you don't. My mommy didn't love me. So why would you? I heard daddy tell Grams that you didn't think he could love your baby. My sister. I know he loves her because he talks about her all the. He told me that things he wants to do when she is older." Then Alexis asked her, "Are you going to leave us like my mommy did?"

Kate wiped at the tears and she whispered, "No Alexis. I love you. Your daddy and I are going to fight every now and then, but it doesn't change how I feel about you or your baby sister. I was wrong and I'm sorry. I want to be the mommy that you deserve." Then Kate leaned down and kissed Alexis' head and whispered, "I love you and nothing will ever make me leave."

Alexis looked at her and turned her head to the side. Kate could tell that she was studying her. She finally got down off of her chair and knocked it over. She ran over to Kate and wrapped her arms around her legs and hugged her tightly. Then Kate heard her whisper, "Good mommy. Because I really, really love you and don't want you to ever leave us." Alexis put her hand over her heart and said, "It makes me hurt right here and I want to cry. I don't want to lose another mommy."

Kate felt her heart swell and then she whispered to Alexis, "I'm never leaving you or your daddy. I married both of you. And you know what?"

Alexis sniffled and asked, "What?"

"You and your daddy married me and Lillian."

Alexis asked, "Lillian? Who's Lillian?"

Castle smiled and told his daughter, "That's the name that we picked out for the baby. Lillian Rose."

Alexis smiled, "That's a pretty name."

Castle nodded, "It is, but we only told you. We want to surprise everyone else."

Kate asked, "Can you keep it a secret?"

Nodding, Alexis told her, "I can keep secrets really good mommy. I promise I won't tell anyone."

Kate leaned down and hugged Alexis tightly and then whispered, "I know you can and next time you feel sad or upset, let me or your daddy know. Please?"

Alexis nodded, and then Castle came over to her hug them. Alexis would remember this years later. She would realize that it was the first time she had felt safe and secure in the love of both of her parents.

Then, Castle asked, "Who's hungry?"

Kate and Alexis both cried out, "Me!"

Castle laughed and said, "Well, then we need to set the table!"

Kate hurried to get the plates and then Alexis went to get the silverware. They set the table and laughter could be heard throughout the meal. Everything was right with the family again. And Kate had never felt happier in her life...


	26. Chapter 26

_**A/N I had meant to have this up yesterday, but it didn't quite work out. So, here's the next chapter...**_

A week passed and all Kate thought about was how she had lashed out at Castle. What she had said to him wasn't right and it wasn't fair. She knew that Castle loved her and would do anything to keep her and their children safe. That was why he had said the things he did. So, she did the only thing she could think of. She went to talk to her father. Castle had a few meetings at Black Pawn, so she used it as her excuse to slip out and meet her father for lunch.

She met him at their favorite restaurant for lunch. After they'd eaten, Jim looked at his daughter and asked, "What brings you here Katie?"

She sipped on her orange juice and swallowed hard. Then she looked at her father with tears in her eyes and told him, "I need your help."

Jim swallowed and asked, "Are you in trouble? Shouldn't you be talking to Rick?"

She shook her head, "I'm not in trouble, but..."

"But what?"

Kate sighed, "I need your advice daddy. You know that this baby isn't Castle's right?"

He nodded, "Yes."

"I want your help with a father's day present for him. I'm not even sure if it's necessary, but I have a feeling that it's important to him."

She could see that her father was confused. He had to be wondering what she could possibly want his help for, "I don't understand Katie. I..."

She took a deep breath and told her father, "I want you to draw up papers for me."

"Papers? What kind of papers?"

Kate took a deep breath and told him, "Adoption papers. I want Rick to adopt her."

Jim Beckett looked at his daughter and told her, "I'm not that kind of lawyer. I..."

"I know that daddy, but you have to know someone that can help you."

"This is important to you. Isn't it?"

Kate nodded and then told her father, "It is. Rick has to know that he is her father in every possible way. Even if she isn't his biological daughter."

"You do know that all you have to do is put his name on the birth certificate."

Kate shook her head, "No. That's not enough. I want to prove to him that I believe in him. That I believe he's her father. No matter what."

Jim looked at his only daughter and smiled, "I will look into it Katie, but it's not going to be official until after she's born."

Kate nodded and then hugged her father tightly, "Thank you."

Her father nodded and then told her, "Your mother would be so proud of you Katie."

Kate felt the tears threatening to spill out and she whispered, "She wouldn't be proud of the way I've treated him daddy. He's only trying to protect me." She put her hands on her stomach and whispered, "Protect her and I lash out at him. For no good reason. I don't..."

Her father smiled and told him, "You're still the same stubborn Katie. The same little girl that didn't want a nightlight to scare the monsters away. The same little girl that refused to let me or your mother walk you into daycare after the first day. You've always wanted to do things on your own and never be told that you can't or that you need help."

"But I hurt him terribly." Then she whispered, "I hurt Alexis. I don't deserve either one of them, but somehow they still want me. He still loves me even though I said some terrible things to him. Things I didn't mean."

Jim smiled, "He loves you so much Katie. They both do. Love means accepting people for who they are. Faults and all."

Kate shook her head, "It's almost like I'm trying to push them away from me. I.."

"You're afraid of getting hurt."

"And I know that he would be the last person to hurt me. At least not on purpose. And Alexis..." Kate put her hands to her eyes and she cried softly.

"Have you told Rick this?"

"I told him I was sorry, but I need to make it right. That's why I want the adoption papers. It's proof that I believe in him. In us. That I believe in him as a husband and a father. And that no matter what happens he is her father. Forever and always."

Jim nodded and then smiled at his daughter. He hugged her again and told her, "I'll do everything I can to start the process for you and Rick. Let me ask you a question Katie."

"Sure daddy."

He knew that he was probably walking on this ice, but he had to at least broach the subject with his daughter, "Have you ever thought about asking him if you could adopt Alexis?"

Kate shook her head, "I can't daddy. I don't think he would go for it. She has a mother and..."

"From what I've been told you are the only mother she remembers."

Kate narrowed her eyes and asked, "Who told you that?"

Jim shook his head, "Lawyer client privilege. If he asked you to, would you adopt her?"

Kate didn't hesitate, she immediately nodded and whispered, "In a heartbeat daddy."

Her father nodded and then he told her, "I have to meet with my next client Katie."

She hugged her father again and then told him, "I want to have you over for dinner sometime soon."

"I will call you. I love you Katie."

"I love you to daddy."

And with that, she turned to walk out of the restaurant and her father headed back to his office. His daughter was very lucky to have married a man like Richard Castle. Johanna would have been proud of the decisions that their only daughter has made in her life.

Meanwhile, Castle was sitting in his lawyers office having papers of his own drawn up. Papers that would change everything for the ladies in his life. He smiled when she was done and shook his lawyers hand and asked, "How long before you can get these to me?"

"I will have Tanya type them up and then sent by courier tomorrow. Are you sure about this Richard?"

"I'm positive. I want this in case anything happens to me. I want to make sure Meredith has no legal say in Alexis' life."

David nodded, "Okay. I will make sure the process is sped up. Pending her signature though. Have you asked Alexis about it?"

Castle smiled, "Last night. She was the one that brought it up actually."

He thought back to the conversation that he'd had with his daughter. She had come home from school and Castle could tell immediately that she had something on her mind, but she didn't want to talk in front of Kate. At first, he thought that she was still upset because of what happened last week.

Seeing Kate sleeping on the couch, he used that opportunity to sneak upstairs and talk to his daughter. He knocked on the door and he heard Alexis say, "Come in daddy."

"How did you know it was me?"

He didn't see it, but he could swear from the tone of her voice that she rolled her beautiful blue eyes at him when she said, "Because mommy's asleep downstairs."

He wouldn't have been surprised if she had added, duh, to the beginning of her sentence. Sometimes he swore that she was six going on sixteen.

When he sat down beside her on her bed, he noticed that she was looking through her baby book. He had spent hours taking pictures and pasting them inside. As well as writing down all of her firsts. Her first word. The first time she rolled over. The first time she crawled.

She was quiet for a few seconds and then she asked, "What does it mean when someone adopts you daddy?"

"Why?"

Alexis shrugged and said, "Because I met a new girl at school. Her name is Mia. She told me that her parents adopted her when she was a little baby."

Castle smiled, "Oh. Well, that means that of all the babies in the world, her parents picked her to be theirs. To love forever and ever."

Alexis thought about it for what seemed to be forever. Then, she asked, "Could we adopt mommy's baby?"

Castle kissed his daughter on the head and whispered, "It's not my decision pumpkin."

"Why not? We'd make a good family for her. We already love mommy and..."

"It's complicated..."

Alexis bit on her bottom lip and Castle swore that she picked up the habit from Kate, but the next words out of her mouth floored him. She turned her head to the left and whispered, "I want her to adopt me. I want her to be my forever mommy. Since my real mommy didn't want me. Do you think Kate would adopt me? I know I'm not really hers, but I think she loves me daddy."

Castle bit his bottom lip and for a moment he wondered if he was going to draw blood. He honestly didn't know if Kate would be willing to adopt Alexis. It would certainly make things easier for everyone. It would keep Meredith from trying to take her again. It would also give Alexis some sort of permanence. It would make her feel more grounded.

After a few moments silence, Castle whispered to her, "We can ask her pumpkin. Let me talk to my lawyer and have the papers drawn up. Then, we will take her out to dinner and you can ask her."

"Do you think she will say yes?"

Castle honestly had no idea what Kate's reaction would be. Would she say no? Would she say yes? He honestly didn't know. What he did know was that he wanted to make it official. He wanted to make Kate Alexis' mother. He finally told her, "We can only ask her and see what she says."

Alexis turned her head to the side and then smiled at her father, "I bet she will say yes. She really loves us and we love her to."

Castle smiled and hugged his daughter tightly. He kissed the top of her head and then went downstairs to make dinner for them.

So, that was how he found himself at the lawyers office that next day. He had never been more nervous about asking Kate anything in his life. Part of him wondered if he should ask her before dinner. That way, if she said no then Alexis wouldn't be hurt. He could just make up some excuse and hope she forgot about it. However, knowing his daughter, she would never forget. In fact, she would probably ask Kate herself. So, he decided that he was going to ask Kate to have dinner with them the following night and hope that she didn't break both of their hearts in the process. What he didn't know was that Kate had been planning almost the exact same thing for him...

_**A/N- A special shout out to Sensaiman for the idea of them adopting each others daughters. Not sure if it would really be necessary in real life for Castle to adopt Kate's baby, but it seems right for this story and it's fun to write about.**_

_**Oh and I know how some of you are wondering about why Castle keeps going back to her when she treats him like this. He's in love with her and sometimes being in love with someone means putting up with them in good and bad moods...**_


	27. Chapter 27

_**A/N I had meant to have this up yesterday, but it didn't quite work out. So, here's the next chapter...**_

The adoption papers were delivered to Castle the following day. He had told Kate that he was going to write. Knowing that she would leave him alone and it would give him time to think. He knew that he wanted to ask her to adopt Alexis. It was important Alexis and it was important to him. He wanted Alexis to feel like she truly belonged to both of them.

So, he decided to talk to her before they went to dinner that night. Wanted to give her some notice so that she would have time to think about it beforehand.

Walking to the bedroom, Castle sat down in bed beside her and smiled when he saw her reading Nikki Heat. He kissed her neck and whispered, "Haven't you gotten tired of reading that yet?"

Kate smiled and shook her head, "I always enjoy the classics."

"Classics?"

She laughed and used her bookmark to save her place. She smiled and kissed him softly. Then, when she noticed the folder in her hand, she asked, "What's that?"

Castle suddenly felt very nervous. He swore that a million butterflies had suddenly taken up residence inside his stomach. He wondered if this was a serious mistake. He smiled and whispered, "I want to ask you something. Something important."

"Okay. It sounds like something serious."

Castle nodded, "It is. And I think you will be happy. At least I hope so."

She laughed at the happy look on his face. She waved the file around and said, "Whatever this is, it obviously makes you happy."

"And I think it will make you happy also. At least I hope it will. Go ahead. Open it."

She had to admit that she was curious about what he wanted to show her. So, she opened the folder and started reading. She got about half way through the papers before she shook her head and whispered, "No..."

"No what?"

"I can't adopt her. She has a mother and she doesn't need me. I..."

"She's always going to need you. She wants this. It was her idea and..."

Kate shook her head, "No Castle."

Castle looked at her and for a moment he wondered if she was joking with him. Then, when he saw the look on her face, he knew that she was serious. So, he reacted in anger and said, "Fine. You don't want to adopt her, then fine. I guess we will always have his and hers kids. At least until we maybe have our own together."

"Wait Castle I..."

"Save it Kate. I'm just glad that I went against my better judgment and asked you now. Instead of asking you in front of _**my**_ daughter at dinner tonight. Now I can tell her that you don't want her. Just another heartbreak I get to save her from. I thought you were different from Meredith, but it turns out that you're just like her."

He snatched the file out of her hand and turned to walk out of the room. He heard her crying and shook his head. He wasn't going to let her guilt him into turning around and forgiving her. Not this time. This time, she'd managed to hurt not only him, but possibly Alexis and that was something that he couldn't forgive.

He called and canceled their dinner reservations for that night. Then, he went to go get Alexis from school. He was so mad at Kate that he didn't even tell her he was leaving. He just walked out the door and slammed it behind him.

Kate was still crying in the bedroom after Castle left. She heard the door slam behind him and she jumped at the sound. She laid down in bed and let her hand rest on her stomach. Her daughter kicked her softly and she cried even more. Why had she reacted like that when he'd shown her the adoption papers? She wanted him to adopt her daughter, but Alexis was different. Or was she? She was a little girl without a mother. Just like her daughter was a little girl without a father. Both had parents that love them and parents that couldn't or wouldn't love them.

Castle had been so angry at her. She could still hear the words that he had spoken in anger to her. How could he think that she didn't want Alexis? She loved her. Just like he loved her daughter. Hadn't she told her father that she would adopt Alexis in a heartbeat? She thought about what he said about her being like Meredith. Was he right? Was she just like Meredith? Was she a selfish and self-centered woman like Meredith?

She hated that Castle hadn't come back to her when she had been crying, but was it any different from what she had been doing to him. Every time she insulted him or told him that he wasn't allowed to have any say in what she did with her body or her baby. It had to make him think that he wasn't enough for her or her daughter. No, their daughter. She had to stop thinking about the baby as only hers. This little girl that she carried was Castle's baby just as much as hers. Didn't that make Alexis just as much her daughter as Castle's? While it was true that Alexis had a mother, it was also true that her mother didn't want her. Just like the baby she carried wasn't wanted by her father. That certainly made them sisters. If not by blood, then by the circumstances surrounding their remaining parents. Parents that loved each of them like they were their own.

In the end, that was all that should matter. It shouldn't matter how Meredith felt. It should only matter how Alexis, Castle and Kate felt. She wished that Castle was here. She wanted to apologize to him. To tell him that she was wrong and had reacted badly.

She picked up her phone and tried calling him. It rang three times and then went to his voicemail. She knew that he'd sent it there. She could tell that he was very mad at her. She tried to call him again and it went straight to voicemail. Great. Now he had obviously turned off his phone. He was making it perfectly clear that he didn't want to talk to her.

She finally put the phone on her night stand and closed her eyes. She finally got out of bed and then walked to Castle's office. She very rarely went in there. It was his place. His domain. It was his private place. However, she needed to make this right. For him. He was always the one to forgive her in the past. It was time that she even the score. Time that she be the one to apologize to him. For once.

She searched his office and then she saw the papers. He had torn the folder in two and thrown into the trash. It made her heart break into a thousand little pieces. So, she found a roll of tape and proceeded to tape each and every page back together.

She read all the papers again and realized that Meredith didn't have any say in the adoption. Since she had given up all of her rights to Alexis in the divorce, Castle had the right to decide everything in regards to the adoption. Also, should something happen to him, then she would take full custody of Alexis and as such, she would be her mother. Fully and completely. It turns out that it was much more than she thought. She thought it was just for show. It was obvious how wrong she was. He had taken the time to make sure that Alexis would be protected and taken care of in case anything happened to him.

She ran her hands through her hair. God. She was such a fool. She wouldn't blame him if he didn't forgive her this time. It certainly wasn't the first time she had done something to push him away. Maybe she would finally get her wish.

When she got to the end of the papers, she saw her husband's signature at the bottom of the page. She let her fingers trace the letters. She saw his lawyers signature and the place where she needed to sign. She found a pen and signed it immediately. Now, she could only hope that he would find a way to forgive her this time. She hadn't meant to react the way she did. She'd panicked and said all of the wrong things to him.

She left them on his desk and she walked back into their room and heard her phone buzzing. She went over to it and that she had a message from Castle. She smiled sadly and opened it. It read:

_**Going out to dinner with Alexis. Don't wait up for us.**_

She typed back to him: _**Can I meet you?**_

A few seconds later, his reply came: _**I don't want to bother you. You made it perfectly clear that you want nothing to do with her.**_

She sighed and a tear hit the screen of her phone. She typed back: _**Castle don't. Please. I want to have dinner with you and Alexis. I miss you. Both of you.**_

Sitting in the restaurant with Alexis, Castle sighed. The place that they were eating at was just down the street from the loft. He and Alexis had been coming here for three years. The owners had children around Alexis' age. In fact, Alexis was currently playing video games with their oldest son. The first thing she'd asked him when he picked her up from school that day was where her mom was.

Castle had told her that she was sleeping. They went to a little bookstore around the corner and had spent a few hours looking at the children's books. After paying for the books, Castle decided to take her to dinner at their favorite pizza place. In actuality, he was hiding. Hiding from Kate and the fight that they'd had. Part of him had been hoping to sneak back into the loft. He didn't want Alexis to hear them fighting.

Kate sent him another text: _**Fine. I can tell when I'm not wanted. I'll see you when you get home.**_

Castle finally sent her a text back: _**We are at our pizza place. Join us?**_

The next text read: _**If you're sure I'm not going to be in the way.**_

Shaking his head, he replied: _**I wouldn't have told you if I didn't want you here. You and the baby need to eat and...**_

He thought about his next reply. Then typed it before he could chicken out: _**Alexis has been asking about you. Please come. Eat with us.**_

He sent her the address and waited.

Kate typed back: _**Okay. I'll be there soon. I love you Rick. Always...**_


	28. Chapter 28

_**A/N A bit more drama...**_

He felt his stomach flutter and then he sighed and whispered,"Dammit.. Why do I let her do this to me? Every single time."

Castle heard someone laugh behind him and he turned around and saw the owner's wife, Cara standing there. He turned around and she smiled at him and said, "Having problems with your wife?"

Making sure that Alexis was occupied, he nodded, "Yeah. We got into a fight and both said some things that we didn't mean."

She sat down, nodded and took a drink out of her glass. Then she said, "So, you're hiding from her."

"Hiding is a strong word."

She laughed and asked, "Well, what would you call it?"

He swallowed and said, "Okay. I'm hiding. I'm still mad at her and not ready to go home yet."

"So are you going to stay here all night? We close at midnight and.." Pointing to Alexis and her son, "She has school tomorrow."

"I know. I won't be hiding for long. She's on her way here."

Laughing, Cara said, "Normally I would ask what the fight was about, but from the way you keep looking at Lexi, I would say that it has to do with her."

"How can you know that? I..."

"I'm a mother of five. Soon to be six. Trust me. I notice these kind of things."

Castle laughed and told her, "It's complicated."

"Trust me. When it comes to love, most things are."

"You've been married for awhile now."

"Seventeen years this January."

Castle was surprised. She didn't look old enough to be married for that long. He shook his head, "How do you do it? How do you forgive someone time and time again? Despite everything and everyone telling you that you're crazy or stupid for doing it. How do you ignore all the hurtful words?"

Cara turned and looked at her husband. She smiled and told him, "Because they are only words." Castle started to speak, but she held up her hand and told him, "Before you say that words can hurt, I know that. I have been a mother for many years now. And a wife for even longer."

"So..."

"The secret is that you should always talk it out. Don't ever go to bed angry. Be brave enough to talk it over. Even if it leads to another fight. Fighting can be a good thing."

"You're kidding? How can fighting be good?"

Cara smiled and told him, "Think about it. Would you rather know that she's upset with you? Or would you rather guess that she was? Would you rather have her seethe in silence. Never knowing that she was mad at you. Never knowing why. At least until she gets so mad at you and it leads to an all out knock down drag out fight. A fight that leaves you wondering why you ever got married in the first place. Sure, you might fight and you both might say things you don't mean, but the real strength is in learning to forgive each other. No matter what."

Castle laughed and smiled at her, "Thank you Doctor. How much do I owe you?"

She laughed and told him, "My advice is all free. However, I would never say no to a signed copy of your next book."

"You know that I bring them to you anyway Cara."

"Now you have a reason to bring me one. Seriously Richard, talk to her. Talk to each other. Look, I'll keep Lexi occupied with pizza, soda and video games. Talk it out."

Castle laughed loudly and nodded.

Kate walked quickly to the restaurant. She looked in the window and saw Castle sitting with a very pretty brunette. He was laughing and Alexis was nowhere to be seen. The woman laughed and took a drink out of her glass.

Kate walked into the restaurant and started heading over to the table where Castle sat. for a split second, she wondered if Castle was cheating on her. Then, she saw a man come up behind the woman and kiss her on the cheek. It was then that she noticed the woman was pregnant. She looked like she was due around the same time as Kate.

She laughed and whispered something to the man. He nodded and kissed her on the forehead. Then he laughed and walked away from the table.

Kate knew that he'd seen her. Because the smile fell from her husband's face. She hated that. She wanted to be the one to put the smile on his face. Not the one that made it disappear. Kissing him on the cheek, she felt him pull away slightly. Maybe this was the final straw for them. Maybe this was the end of their marriage.

Cara smiled at Kate and introduced herself, "It seems as if Richard has forgotten his manners. I'm Cara. My husband Paul owns the restaurant and you are Kate. Right?"

Kate smiled and nodded, "I'm glad to meet you." Then she turned to her husband and asked, "Where's Alexis?"

Cara smiled and answered, "She's playing with Paul. My oldest son."

Kate turned around and saw Alexis playing. She told Castle, "I'm going to go say hello to her."

Castle nodded, "She would like that."

Cara watched him, watching Kate walk away. When Kate was out of earshot, she told him, "Whatever happened between you two must be serious. You look like you can barely stand to be around her."

"That's not true...I..."

Cara turned her head to the side, "Don't lie to me Richard Castle. Remember what I told you. I'm a mother and I know things. Lots of things. And you can't lie to me."

Castle sighed and finally told her, "I want her to adopt Alexis."

"Wow. That's big."

"She panicked and said that Alexis already has a mother. Kate is her mother. I mean, look at how Alexis lights up when she sees her. She was never like that with Meredith. Kate is her mother. Pure and simple. I mean, look at them together."

Cara turned and saw Alexis hugging Kate tightly. They couldn't hear what they were talking about, but the smile on their faces spoke volumes. Then, Alexis hugged her tightly and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

Kate stood back up and headed back to the table. Cara whispered, "Be nice Richard Castle. I like her and she will eventually come around."

She kissed him on the cheek and when Kate got to the table she asked, "Would you care for something to drink?"

Kate smiled, "I would love wine, but..." She put her hand on her stomach and smiled, "I can't until she's born. So, I will have water."

Cara smiled knowingly and asked, "When are you due?"

"The first week of July. July fourth to be exact. Although I'm thinking that she will come early."

"All of mine did. Well, except for my first born. He was two weeks late. That boy will never be on time for anything." Then she smiled and told Kate, "It was very nice to meet you. If you need anything, let me know."

Kate smiled, "I will. Thank you."

They waited until Cara left and then Castle said, "What do you want?"

She sighed and picked up her purse. She took the papers out and handed them to him. Then she whispered, "I signed them."

Castle laughed and whispered, "What makes you think I still want you to adopt her?"

"I don't know Castle. I guess I just assumed that you would. I..." When he remained silent, she whispered, "Forget it. It was a mistake coming here. I'll leave now."

"Kate..."

Kate shook her head, "I'll move out of the loft if you..."

"Kate! Stop it."

He reached across the table and took her hand. She didn't want to look at him. She couldn't bare to see the hurt that she'd once again caused him. She whispered, "I'm sorry Castle. Sorry for hurting you. Sorry for panicking when you asked me about adopting Alexis. I..."

"Can you even understand how hurt I am? Do you know how excited Alexis is about wanting you to adopt her? You can do whatever you want to me, but when it can affect my daughter, that's where I cross the line Kate."

Kate hung her head and whispered, "I know."

"Do you Kate? Can you even begin to understand how pissed I am at you?" He pointed to where Alexis was and said, "She loves you. More than you probably deserve."

"Castle don't..."

"No Kate. I'm going to say this. You have to decide right here and now if this," He pointed at the adoption papers and then continued, "Is what you really want. Or are you just trying to make things right with me. Do you want to be her mother all the time? Or only when things are good?"

"Castle..."

He shook his head, "I'm not done yet. I want you and your baby. Not because she's mine, but because she's part of you. Do you realize how amazing that is to me? I don't care if Josh is her father. I don't care if she looks like me. I love her without doubt and without reservation. The heart wants, what the heart wants and there isn't a damn thing I can do to change it Kate. That's the same thing that I want for Alexis. The love of a mother who truly loves and wants to be with her. Forever and always."

Kate lowered her head and whispered, "I'm sorry Castle. I..."

"Quit saying your sorry Kate. It starts to lose it's meaning if you say it too much. Actions speak louder than words Kate." He motioned towards the adoption papers and said, "I'm not going to be the one to ask you to adopt her."

"You're not?"

Castle shook his head, "No." He pointed towards Alexis and said, "She's going to ask you. This is what's going to happen. You're going to eat dinner with us tonight. Then, we are going to go back home and sit in the living room. She's going to bring the present that she got you and then she will ask you. Then it will be up to you to decide what you want to do. You can tell her no. If you want to. Or, if you want to you can tell her yes. You can be the one to make her happy or break her heart. I'm not going to clean things up for you this time Katherine. I'm not going to be the one to hurt my daughter this time. This time, you are going to do it. If that's what you really want to do. Because I'm tired of making excuses for your behavior."

Kate looked down at her hands and saw a tear fall onto the back of her hand. Then she whispered, "I want to...be her mom..."

"Why?"

"I don't know why. She has a mother and I guess I could only imagine how Meredith would feel." She put her hand on her stomach protectively, "I wouldn't want anyone to take her away from me."

Castle closed his eyes, "Meredith walked out on her years ago. She won't care..."

"She might. Who's to say that she won't surprise you one day and want to be in her life? She's her mother. Not me."

"You're the closest thing to a mother that Alexis has ever known Kate." Pointing towards her stomach, he whispered, "And I'm going to be the only father she's ever known. Are you going to put Josh's name on the birth certificate?"

"No. You're her father."

"And you are Alexis' mother. She loves you Kate."

"And I love her. More than you could ever imagine."

Castle sighed and took her hand in his. Then, he whispered, "Don't be afraid to let her love you Kate. She's six and it comes so very easy to her. She has a big heart."

Kate smiled, "Just like her father."

Castle nodded, "Yeah. I guess she does get that from me. Look Kate, I get it that you've got all these weird hormones going through you. For years you denied how you felt about me. But look what happened when you let yourself love me? Do you regret it?"

Kate ran her hands over his and whispered, "Not for a single second. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me Richard Castle. Both you and Alexis."

Castle nodded, "Then trust me when I say this. Meredith isn't a mother. Never has been. Never will be. That little show she made after our honeymoon was just that. A show. She wanted money from me. It was always about the money with her. Alexis doesn't even call her mom. She calls her Meredith. Meredith for god sakes. Not mom, but Meredith. She calls you mom. You. Not Meredith. You."

"I know..."

"I want both of our girls to know that they are wanted. By both of us."

"I love Alexis. Very, very much. I couldn't love her anymore if she was my own daughter."

Castle nodded and whispered, "She's coming back to the table. Lets eat our pizza, go back to the loft and let whatever happens, happen. Okay?"

She nodded and smiled when Alexis sat down next to her. She had wanted a pineapple pizza. Just like her mom. She had insisted on it. So, Castle had ordered it for her. Kate smiled when she saw it and asked, "Who ordered it with pineapple on it?"

Alexis smiled, "Me! It's really good, but daddy doesn't like it. So it's all ours mommy."

Kate leaned in and kissed the top of her head and whispered, "That's good. Because I'm starving!"

Castle watched as the two girls he loved most in his life shared a pizza together. Before Castle could stop it, he heard Alexis ask, "Mommy, will you adopt me?"

Castle choked on his pizza and Kate smiled. She put her pizza down and smiled at the little girl. She took Alexis' hand and whispered, "Yes Alexis. I will adopt you. Nothing would make me happier sweetpea."

Castle watched as Alexis practically threw herself at Kate and they hugged tightly. They both had tears in their eyes and Kate looked at Castle over her head. For the first time that night, Castle was able to manage a small smile. He mouthed softly, "I love you."

Kate felt the tears come at the words he hadn't even spoken. She whispered back, "I love both of you. Thank you for wanting me in your family..."

Alexis held on tight for a few more minutes and then Castle laughed, "I think you two need to eat. We don't want either of you to get weak from lack of food."

Alexis giggled and nodded. Then, she sat back in her seat as Castle reached across the table and took her hand. He gave it a squeeze and whispered, "Thank you."

Kate nodded and started to eat her pizza. She realized that she had been stupid about all of this. They were her family. Meredith could kiss her ass. They were hers now and always would be...


	29. Chapter 29

_**A/N Some fluffy goodness... LOL!**_

After tucking Alexis into bed that night, Castle went into his office. He told Kate that he was going to try and work on a chapter of his latest novel. He promised that he would come to bed soon.

Kate had fallen asleep, but she woke at around three in the morning. Her hand searched for him in their bed, but her hand only touched the cold sheet. She knew that he hadn't come to bed. So, she wandered into his office in search of him.

When she opened the door, she heard the sound of him snoring softly. She expected to see him sleeping in his chair. However, what she saw instead broke her heart. He was laying on the couch in his office. A pillow was bunched up under his head and he was covered with a blanket. It was obvious to her that he hadn't done any writing. He had simply used that as an excuse to not come to bed with her.

She felt a sob leave her and she hurried out before he realized that she'd seen him. She walked out into the kitchen and stood by the window overlooking the street below. She felt the tears fall from her eyes silently. She didn't even bother to try and wipe them away. She simply let them flow freely. She wondered if this was how their marriage would end. If she had ruined everything because of her inability to change.

He'd forgiven her numerous times in the past. She had taken his huge heart for granted. She'd always assumed that he would continue to forgive her. Just like he had before. Maybe he finally realized that she was still the same selfish person she had always been. Maybe she had only thought that her walls had come down. Maybe they had only lowered for awhile. Only to come back stronger and harder than before.

She was so lost in thought that she didn't hear him sneak up behind her. She felt his arms wrap around her and hold her tight. That was when she nearly crumbled to the ground. She loved him more than she'd ever love anyone before. She knew that if he left her, she wouldn't survive. She could lose anything else, but losing him would kill her.

Kate finally whispered, "I'm so sorry Castle. I know you don't want to hear that, but I am so sorry. If I could go back..."

She felt him sigh and then he kissed the top of her head. He simply breathed in her scent. It was so uniquely her. A mix of a million things that all added up to one. Kate. He would know that scent anywhere. The scent that was uniquely her. He finally whispered, "I love you Kate. I'm still incredibly angry..."

"Castle..."

"Shush.. Let me finish..." He felt her nod and he continued, "But I love you enough to work on making things right again."

"I want that also. I.."

That was when he silenced her with a kiss. It started out soft. Then, she felt his tongue begging for entrance. She opened her lips and his tongue invaded her mouth. He deepened the kiss and she moaned softly. She was constantly surprised by the feelings this man brought out in her. He stirred feelings deep inside her. He made her feel alive. Made her believe that she deserved the love he felt for her.

He stopped kissing her and turned her around. She was expecting him to kiss her again, but he didn't. He simply stared deep into her eyes. Almost like he was looking into her soul. He walked her over to the couch and sat her down. Then he knelt down in front of her.

Kate let her hands run through his hair. He pushed up her shirt and kissed her stomach softly. Then, he rested his head there. It took her a few moments, but she felt moisture on her stomach. That was when she realized that he was crying. The man who always tried to put on a happy face for her. The man who always appeared strong. The man who was her rock. Even when times got tough. He. Was. Crying.

She looked down at him and she felt her heart breaking in two. She had done this to him. She had broken his spirit. She had made him doubt her feelings for not only him, but his little girl. She pushed him away gently and she saw the look of hurt on his face. Taking his hand, she led him to their bedroom. Then she climbed into bed beside him and whispered, "I love you. I did this to you. I will understand if you don't love me anymore. If you want to leave me. I don't deserve you or your love. I..."

That was when he silenced her with another soft kiss. He nipped at her bottom lip and she moaned softly. Then he told her, "I don't deserve you." When she tried to interrupt, he kissed her again. He whispered, "You don't deserve me, but somehow we make it work."

She pressed her forehead against his and she smiled sadly. She finally whispered, "How could you love me? All I do is hurt you. It's like a train wreck. I can see it happening. Almost like it's in slow motion, but I'm powerless to stop it. Are you sure you want me to raise your daughter?"

Castle shook his head and whispered, "Our daughter. Soon to be our daughters."

Kate smiled and laid her head on his shoulder. Then she whispered, "This is so hard."

"Love always is, but it's worth it. It's so very worth it. We are going to fight, but just remember, I love you and I always will."

"Even if I hurt you?"

Castle nodded, "Yes. I should have explained my motives behind wanting you to adopt Alexis better. It isn't to take Meredith's place. Because Meredith never had a place in her life. She never wanted a baby. She only viewed Alexis as a means to an end."

"What end is that?"

Castle laughed harshly and whispered, "Money from me. She knew that if she stayed with me, regardless of how terrible she was with Alexis, she would always have money."

"What changed?"

She did. Or I did. Or maybe we never really changed. Maybe we just figured out what had always been there. Meredith was and always will be a money hungry bitch. She has a beautiful daughter, but she doesn't care. She's more interested in her career than in raising a daughter. I want Alexis to be loved. Really and truly loved. She loves you Kate and she knows that you love her."

"I do. I can't explain it, but I can't imagine my life without either of you in it. I'm tired of always hurting you with the words I speak. I want to bask in your love and attention. I don't want to hurt you or Alexis. I..."

He kissed her softly on her head and whispered, "It's how you are. I..."

"I need to change. For you and for Alexis. I..."

Castle shook his head and told her, "No. We don't want you to change. Just don't run. Don't panic. Lets agree to work things out. Talk things out. All night if we need to. Cara told me something earlier."

Kate smiled and pressed a kiss to his neck. Then she whispered, "What was that?"

"She said that we should never go to bed angry."

"That's very good advice. Very good advice indeed."

He smiled and they held each other in silence. When she woke the following morning, it was to an empty bed. She wondered if she had imagined what happened the night before. Then she heard it. She heard the sound of a little girls laughter from somewhere in the loft. She put her hand on her stomach and whispered to her unborn daughter, "You are such a lucky baby. You're going to be raised in a house full of love and laughter."

She swore that he little girl was a genius already. Because she felt a tiny thump from her daughter. Then she whispered, "You have the best daddy and big sister in the world. They love us so much. I can't wait to meet you. The only regret I have is that you won't look like your daddy. But he's going to love you anyway. He already does. You should see the way his eyes light up when he talks to you. He's loved you from the day he knew about you. We are going to love him Lillian. Love him so very much. He's a special man and I can only hope that you find a man like him one day sweetheart."

Kate closed her eyes and tried to blink away the tears that threatened to spill over. She whispered softly, "I can't wait to meet you. To see how beautiful you are going to be. Daddy says that you're going to be a little beauty. That you're going to look just like me."

She heard Castle laugh and tell her, "She's already wrapped around my little finger and she isn't even here yet."

"You're in so much trouble."

Castle laughed, "I know. Our next baby has to be a boy. I'm seriously outnumbered here. We need some more testosterone in this house."

Kate smiled at his words. Especially when he said that their next baby has to be a boy. He wanted to have more children with her. Maybe she hadn't ruined everything for them. There was hope for them yet. She whispered, "I..."

Before she could say anything else, they heard Alexis calling for him, "Daddy! The eggs are ready!"

She laughed and asked, "You're making breakfast?"

He nodded, "I figured that you would be hungry. It was supposed to be a surprise, but hearing you talk to her... Sexy..."

He couldn't seem to wipe the smile off of his face. He sat down on the bed and she stood up. He pushed her shirt up and kissed her stomach softly and whispered, "Daddy can't wait to meet you either..."

He kissed her stomach again and felt her hands in his hair. He looked up at her and smiled. Then she said, "I'm starving daddy."

He stood and kissed her softly, "Lets get you some food then mommy."

Castle took her hand and led her to the kitchen. When they walked into the kitchen, Kate couldn't help but laugh at the sight that awaited her. Alexis was standing in the middle of the kitchen. She wore a chefs hat and a tiny apron. She had smudges of flour on her face and it looked like she had egg in her hair.

She sat down at the kitchen table and Alexis brought her a glass of juice and then she turned to get a glass of milk. She looked so adorable and Kate smiled and read her apron. It was a miniature version of the one that she'd seen Castle wear. It said, "Kiss The Cook."

When Alexis came back to her, she kissed her on the cheek and whispered, "I love you Alexis."

The little girl beamed, "I love you to mommy."

Castle watched the exchange between them with a smile on his face. He wasn't sure how Kate did it, but she always put a smile on his little girls face. That was something that he would always be thankful for.

Alexis served Kate's breakfast and then they sat down with her. Then, Alexis got a look on her face and said, "I' forgot something!"

Then she bolted up from the table and ran upstairs to her bedroom. Castle and Kate looked at each other. Kate raised her eyebrows and Castle shook his head and told her, "I have no idea what she's doing."

Alexis came running back into the kitchen and held out a box to Kate.

That was when Castle remembered the box. He hadn't known what was inside. His mother had taken Alexis shopping one day and she had refused to let him see it. Telling him that it was for her mommy.

She was practically bouncing up and down with excitement. She was practically vibrating. Castle laughed when Alexis said, "Open it mommy!"

Kate laughed and looked at the pretty pink paper. It had pictures of tiny little baby angels on it. It was precious and she hated to open it. She heard Alexis sigh and she laughed. Then she opened it very carefully. Careful to not ruin the paper.

She saw a white jewelry box. She lifted the lid and gasped at the sight that awaited her. It was a silver charm shaped like a peapod. It held three peas. A big green one. A medium sized one. And a small one. Each one had an initial carved into it. It was attached to a silver necklace. She couldn't speak. All she could do was swallow hard and look at Alexis.

Alexis told her, "The big one is for you mommy. The middle one is me and the baby one is for Lilly. The best part is that we can always get more. If you and daddy have more babies..."

Tears sprang to her eyes and she put the box on the table. She pulled Alexis into her arms and hugged her tightly. She heard Alexis ask, "Do you like it mommy?"

She nodded and whispered, "Yes sweetpea. I love it. Why did you choose peas?"

Alexis smiled brightly, "Because you are always calling me sweetpea."

Kate smiled and caught Castle's eyes. They were bright and shiny from tears. He couldn't have spoken at that moment. Even if he had wanted to. This was a moment between Kate and Alexis. It was something special to see and he knew that he would remember it forever...


	30. Chapter 30

_**A/N A small filler chapter...**_

At eight month pregnant there was only one word to describe the way that Kate felt. Huge. She couldn't get out of bed by herself anymore. She felt like a turtle that had been turned on it's back. She hated depending on Castle to get her out of bed. She couldn't see her feet. Forget about her trying to tie her shoes. Everything she did was so much harder lately.

She would stand in the bathroom for the longest time looking at herself in the mirror. She would hang her head and sigh. That was where Castle found her one morning.

He whispered softly, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You don't seem fine. I..."

"I'm fine Castle. I..."

He stood behind her and kissed her neck. Then he asked, "Are you sure?"

Kate shook her head, "No. I'm not sure about anything anymore."

"Talk to me Kate."

Resting her head on his chest she sighed softly, "I'm huge."

Kissing the top of her head, he whispered, "No. No you're not."

Kate laughed harshly, "You must be blind then. My stomach is huge. My legs look like they are twice the size and don't even get me started on my arms and hands." Castle laughed and she whispered, "Don't laugh at me Castle. I'm so ugly."

That simple statement caused Castle's eyes to grow bigger. Then he whispered to her, "You my love are anything but ugly."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"I am, but do you want to know what I see?"

"What?"

Castle turned her around to look into the mirror. She closed her eyes, but he whispered, "Open your eyes Kate." When she opened her eyes, he continued, "I see a beautiful, remarkable, intelligent woman. More than that though, I see a miracle. A miracle happening right before my eyes. You're growing more beautiful every single day. I look at you and I'm constantly amazed. You're doing something that no one else can. You're making sure that our baby girl has everything she needs to grow strong before she makes her appearance. Our baby girl. I can't wait to see what she looks like."

Castle kissed her neck and she moaned softly and whispered, "You're just saying that because you love me."

He turned her around to look her in the eyes and whispered, "No. I'm saying it because it's true. Your body has changed, but in the most remarkable ways. Your hips are growing wider to make room for her birth. Your breasts are making milk to nourish her. It's mysterious, but it's centuries old. The miracle of the human body getting ready for the birth of a child."

Kate watched as he shivered and she smiled, "You're serious about this."

Castle smiled, "Serious as a heart attack."

Leaning forward, Kate kissed him softly and whispered, "I love you Richard Castle."

"So you feel better about yourself?"

Kate shook her head, "No, but you make me feel a little bit better about it."

He pulled her towards their bed and he sat down and raised her shirt a bit. He let his lips brush against the skin on her stomach. He felt her shiver and she whispered, "How do you always manage to do that?"

Castle smiled, "It's easy. I love you..."

Kate took his hands and put them on her stomach. She could stand here like this all day. Basking in his love and attentive gaze. She had never felt more beautiful than she did when he looked at her. She let her hands run through his hair and she sighed. So many emotions went through her while she was standing there with him. She knew that she would always love him. Always.

After standing there together for what seemed like forever, Castle looked up at her and whispered, "How about if we go meet Lanie and the boys for lunch? Then, we will get Alexis from school. Together."

Kate nodded and whispered, "That sounds like fun. I haven't seen them in awhile."

Castle hoped that seeing their friends would help cheer her up. He pulled her to her feet and kissed her softly. Then she smiled and asked, "Help me with my shoes. Please?"

Castle nodded softly and smiled, "My pleasure."

After helping her with her shoes, they walked to the door. She pushed him up against the door and kissed him softly. Then, she whispered, "You are an amazing man Richard Castle. What I ever did to deserve you I will never know."

Castle kissed her nose and whispered, "It's simple."

Kate raised her eyebrows and asked, "Oh really?"

He nodded and whispered, "You loved me and you love my daughter. There's nothing more I could ever ask for."

Kate stared into his eyes and saw the truth shining bright there. She finally whispered, "You are an amazing man..."

"No more amazing than you my wonderful wife."

She hugged him tightly and then they turned to head out the door. She held his hand tightly and they walked to the elevator together. She grabbed onto her stomach and let out a gasp of pain. Then she whispered, "That hurt..."

"Braxton-Hicks contraction?"

She nodded, "I think so."

Castle put a hand on her back and asked, "Are you okay?"

Taking a few deep breaths, she finally nodded, "Yeah. Lets go."

He guided her to the elevator and they hurried to the precinct. Kate was blissfully unaware of the surprise that awaited her there...


	31. Chapter 31

_**A/N A small filler chapter...**_

Meanwhile, at the precinct, Lanie and Jenny were decorating for Kate's baby shower. Although it was actually Ryan and Esposito that were doing more of the decorating. Lanie and Jenny were telling them where to put everything.

There were streamers hung from every corner of the break room. Pink, purple and white. There was also a pinata that looked like a stork.

In one corner there were presents stacked from the floor to the ceiling. Lanie had tried to tell their friends that presents weren't necessary, but everyone had insisted. Saying that baby showers were more for friends and family to celebrate the coming birth.

Martha was on the lookout for her son and Kate. She would come running into the room every few seconds. Lanie finally turned to her friends mother-in-law and said, "Stay there until they are actually here. Please?"

Martha nodded and hurried back to her post. That was when she saw Kate's father. She pointed towards the break room and said, "Go. Help them."

Jim nodded and headed towards the others waving his hand in the air. He was used to his daughter's mother-in-law by now. He'd learned to ignore most of what she said. The woman was an actress and had a different way about her.

Esposito had managed to get himself tangled up in the streamers that he was trying to wrap together. The upper half of his body was covered in pink, purple and white. Pretty much the only thing that could be seen was his eyes. He looked at Lanie and said, "A little help here. Please?"

Lanie laughed and went to help him. Before she did though, she took a picture of him and said, "That's priceless."

Esposito gave her a look and said, "Seriously?"

That was when Montgomery walked into the break room and laughed. Then he said, "I want copies of that one for the precinct's newsletter."

Lanie asked, "We have a newsletter?"

Montgomery nodded and said, "We sure do. You should be the one to take the pictures and..."

Esposito wasn't amused and said, "Don't encourage her Captain."

"I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't torture you."

Jenny sighed and said, "We need to do more decorating and less talking guys! They will be here very soon and we aren't anywhere close to be ready yet and..."

Ryan went over to his wife and kissed her softly. Then he whispered, "We are doing fine. It looks beautiful Jenny."

She shook her head, "More decorating and less talking Kevin Ryan."

He saluted her and turned to finish hanging the streamers that he'd managed to combine. He stood on the chair and used a thumb tack to pin it to the wall in a far corner. Before long, they had the entire place looking like a streamer factory had exploded. There were baby chicks, ducks and teddy bears hanging from the ceiling.

Jenny and Lanie smiled at the end result and Lanie took a picture. Both women sighed and said, "It's beautiful."

The men simply rolled their eyes and hurried to put the leftover decorations into a bag. Then, they took the cake out of the box and put the box into a corner. The cake was simply adorable. It was a square cake. It was made to look like abc blocks. It had baby bears, rabbits, elephants and ducks and tiny little feet decorating it also. The frosting was pink and white. It was a beautiful cake.

Everything was in place when Martha came running back into the break room and said, "There here!"

Lanie told Esposito, "Turn off the lights!"

He did as she said and they all bent down so that they couldn't be seen from the elevator.

After a few minutes, they heard Kate say, "I don't understand why Lanie couldn't meet us downstairs. Why did we have to come up here?"

Castle threw his hands up and said, "I don't know. She said something about Captain Montgomery wanting to see you and.."

He managed to steer her into the break room and turned the lights on. That was when everyone popped up and said, "Surprise!"

Kate jumped and then put her hand over her mouth. She was speechless. Then the tears started and she asked Castle, "Did you know about this?"

He smiled proudly and told her, "Of course. It was my job to get you here on time."

She turned and looked at all of her friends. Then she wiped at her eyes. Trying to wipe the tears away. Ryan looked at Esposito and asked, "Why is she crying?"

Esposito shrugged and whispered, "I don't know. I thought she would be happy and..."

Kate shook her head and interrupted them, "I am happy. Oh..."

That was when she rushed over to hug her friends. They had been through everything together and having them here to celebrate the birth of her baby made her realize how much they truly cared for her.

When she first found out that she was pregnant, she had expected to be all alone. She never thought that she would not only be gaining a baby, but her friends at work would become more like family. She had never been more grateful for them in her life. Her daughter was going to be surrounded by loved ones. Extended family and friends. Maybe one day, Lanie and Javi would have kids of their own and he or she could grow up with her and Castle's children.

Kate was led over to her chair and presented with a home made crown. She asked Lanie, "Who made this?"

Her best friend smiled and told her, "Alexis did."

Her mouth dropped open and she whispered, "Alexis?"

Castle nodded, "She had the hardest time keeping it a secret. Why do you think I kept her away from you last night and took her to school early this morning?"

Kate thought back and remembered that she had been upset with him at the time. She had thought that it was strange that he didn't want her to tuck Alexis into bed the night before. She always read Alexis a story and kissed her goodnight. He'd told her that she was already asleep. He hadn't woken her until later in the morning. After Alexis had already gone to school. Walking their daughter to school had become something of a ritual for them. She'd been a bit upset at the time, but now it all made sense. He wasn't sure if he could count on her to keep the secret or not. So, he'd had to keep Alexis and Kate apart. Keeping them apart meant deviating from the normal routine that they had built up over the last few months. Routines that she had come to look forward to. Cherish even.

Kate finally whispered, "You are amazing..." She walked over and kissed him softly. Then she whispered, "I love you."

They lost themselves in each other and kissed again. Until they heard Lanie clearing her throat. Then Lanie whispered, "There are other people here you know."

Kate and Castle kissed one final time and then she whispered, "I wish we were alone right now."

Castle smiled, "Me to, but we aren't. So, go. Have fun with our friends Kate."

She held his hand and started to walk away. Only letting go of his hand at the last possible moment.

Lanie rolled her eyes, but she was in awe of the couple. They were so totally and completely in love with each other. Lanie had never seen her best friend so happy before. Never seen her so completely in love with someone. She had never been like this with Josh. She was never this happy. Never so head over heels in love with him.

The men went to sit in one corner, while the women all gathered around Kate.

Jim smiled as he watched his daughter with her friends. Then, he told his son-in-law, "I've never seen Katie this happy before. It's all because of you and your little girl."

Castle shook his head, "I don't think that's the only reason. She's expecting a baby. It's a happy time for her. Whether it's because of me or not I'm not so sure."

"I disagree. She loves you Rick. She's changed since you came into her life. Changed in the best of ways. She's more outgoing. She laughs more. Her eyes are brighter now. She's not as serious as she used to be. She's still driven, but..."

"But what?"

"But she's driven to be a better person for you, Alexis and that baby she's carrying. Before all she had was her job. Now, she has something much better."

"Better?"

Jim nodded, "She has you. She has Alexis and soon she will have a baby of her own. She has a family. Something that she hasn't had in a very, very long time. I failed her Rick..."

Castle knew that her father was blaming himself for what happened after her mother was killed. He shook his head, "It wasn't anyone's fault Jim. I for one am glad that things happened the way they did."

"You are?"

Castle nodded, "Yes. Think about it. I wouldn't have met her if she hadn't become a police officer. Wouldn't have had a reason to. The day that her mother was killed was the day that our lives were destined to meet. I have always called it fate. She never believed in fate. At least she claims that she didn't, but fate is what brought us together. I don't doubt that for a moment."

Jim looked at his daughter and smiled, "She never believed in something as wonderful as fate. For her fate isn't something she can see or touch so it can't possibly exist."

"You are a man after my own heart Jim Beckett."

"Seriously though, you are good for her Rick."

Castle smiled, "She's good for me. She keeps me grounded."

The women laughed at one of the games that they were playing. Kate's eyes were bright with laughter. Castle caught her eye and she smiled at him. He smiled back and winked at her. She blushed and turned back to her friends. For the next two hours, the smile never left her face. Castle never thought that she had looked more beautiful. He wished that he could keep that smile on her face forever. She looked younger and more carefree.

When the women were done with unwrapping the presents, Castle asked, "We are going to need three more cars to get this home."

Montgomery smiled and said, "That's already been taken care of."

He snapped his fingers and three uniformed police officers appeared from out of nowhere. They produced three huge trash bags and packed everything. Then they carried everything downstairs.

Castle smiled and took her by the hand. Then he turned her around and kissed her softly. He whispered softly to her, "Did you have fun?"

Kate nodded, "Yes. It was amazing. I can't believe you managed to keep it a secret. You usually aren't very good at keeping secrets."

Castle gave her a sideways look and said, "I can keep secrets."

"Seriously? You are like a little boy when someone tells you something is a secret. You bounce off the walls. I think Alexis is better at keeping secrets than you are."

Castle smiled at her and said, "I was able to keep the crown a secret. I..."

"I'm surprised Castle. I guess there's a first time for everything."

He leaned forward and kissed her softly. Then he whispered, "Are you ready to go pick up our daughter?"

Kate nodded and he led her to the elevator. They drove to the loft and then walked to Alexis' school. They talked about everything and anything on the way there. Castle and Kate waited for Alexis to come out of the school. When she saw her parents, she came running towards them with a huge smile on her face. She obviously saw the crown that Kate was still wearing and asked, "Do you like the crown mommy?"

Kate nodded and whispered to her little girl, "I love it sweetpea. Why do you think I'm still wearing it?"

Alexis smiled brightly and hugged her mother tightly. Then Alexis kissed her mother and said, "I love you mommy."

"I love you to. You're my bestest girl."

That was when Alexis' face turned serious. Kate asked, "What's wrong?"

"Until your baby's born..."

Kate sat down on the bench in front of the school. She patted the spot beside her and said, "Sit down."

Alexis sat beside her and Castle watched them carefully. Kate smiled, "I'm always going to love you. No matter if I have ten more children. I couldn't love you any more if you were my own daughter. And when I adopt you, you will be my little girl."

Alexis shrugged and kicked a rock on the ground. Kate saw the sadness in her eyes and whispered, "I'm never going to leave you Alexis. You are stuck with me as your mommy forever and ever."

Alexis looked at Kate, "Really?"

Kate nodded, "Really. I love you Alexis and nothing will every change that. Nothing."

Alexis threw herself at Kate and hugged her tightly. Castle smiled at them and he knew that Kate was a natural born mother. She always seemed to know just what to say. He had been Alexis' father for six years and sometimes he had a hard time finding the right things to say. Maybe it was a girl thing, but he was thankful that they had Kate Beckett in their lives. Thankful for the day that fate had brought them together as partners, friends and eventually family...

_**A/N Not time for the baby to be born just yet. Soon, but not quite...LOL!**_


	32. Chapter 32

When Kate climbed into bed that night, another pain shot through her stomach. This one was much stronger that the last one. She closed her eyes and after a few moments, it went away. Kate was still convinced that the pains she was feeling were simply Braxton-Hicks contractions. She decided that she would call her doctor in the morning.

Climbing into bed beside her that night, Castle could tell that she was restless. She was tossing and turning and she couldn't seem to get comfortable. She heard her hiss in pain and watched as her face showed the pain that she was feeling.

He asked, "Are you okay Kate?"

She shook her head and whispered, "I don't think so. I..."

She stopped as another contraction went through her. He jumped out of bed and put on his shirt and pants. Then he told her, "I'm taking you to the hospital."

Part of her wanted to tell him she was okay. However, another part of her knew that this wasn't normal. While she got dressed, Castle called his mother. She was out the door before they got off of the phone. Castle went back into the room and saw Kate doubled over in pain and holding onto the dresser. She was trying to remember her breathing exercises. Castle walked behind her and whispered, "I think this is the real thing."

Kate shook her head and whispered, "It's too early..."

He laughed and whispered, "She's like her mommy. She doesn't want anyone telling her what to do or when to make her appearance into the world."

She nodded and then they heard Martha come into the loft. Martha called out, "I'm here!" She walked into their bedroom and saw Castle holding Kate and whispered, "I think it's time for you to go."

Castle nodded, "I know mother. Are you good to walk to the car?"

The latest contraction stopped and she nodded. She started walking to the car and her knees buckled again. Castle decided that the only way they were going to get to the car was if he carried her. So, he picked her up and headed to the door. Martha opened the door for him and he walked to the elevator. Martha called out, "Call me when she's here!"

Castle nodded, "I will mother."

With that, they hurried off to the hospital. Martha smiled at them and then walked back into the loft. She locked the door behind her and she couldn't lose the smile that came to her face. She got up and walked into Castle's office. She looked at all the pictures that he'd taken of Alexis over the years. Then she smiled when she saw the ultrasound picture of the baby. She traced the picture with her finger and whispered, "You don't know how lucky you are little one. You are so special. Your mommy and daddy love you and so do I..."

Martha smiled and walked back into the living room to lay down on the couch to wait for news about the latest member of the Castle household.

Three hours later, Kate and Castle arrived back home. The contractions had stopped almost as soon as they arrived at the hospital. They had called her doctor already, so he met her at the hospital. After checking her over, he assured her that she wasn't in labor. It was simply very strong Braxton-Hicks contractions.

Doctor Taylor had smiled at the exhausted looking parents to be. He smiled and told them, "If you were in actual labor, you would still be having pains and they would come at frequent intervals. You would also have lower back pain."

Kate whispered, "If sure felt like the real thing. I feel so foolish. I'm sorry for bothering you."

Her doctor smiled and shook his head, "Don't be. I'd much rather you err on the side of caution. If it had been the real thing and you had waited then that could be dangerous. You're a little early and I would like to have stopped the contractions. You're only thirty two weeks. Ideally we would like to keep her inside for at least another four weeks. Another five weeks would be ideal, but something tells me that this little lady will be joining us sooner rather than later."

Kate felt her daughter moving and let her hand rest on her stomach and whispered, "I thought for sure this was the real thing. I..."

Her doctor smiled, "Braxton-Hicks contractions can feel very real Katherine."

She nodded and then she sighed. Castle helped her off of the table and steered her towards the exit. He helped her into the car and she closed her eyes. She was tired of being pregnant. Tired of her body not being her own anymore. Tired of feeling like she had been taken over by a tiny little alien. An alien that took the form of her baby daughter.

Castle drove home and he led her upstairs. When they walked in, they saw Martha had fallen asleep on the couch. Kate felt incredibly guilty for bothering her mother-in-law. She told Castle, "I feel bad for calling her and..."

Castle shook his head, "Don't worry about it. She won't be upset."

"Still I..."

Martha opened her eyes, "What? No baby?"

Castle watched as Kate walked into their bedroom. Then Martha asked, "False labor?"

Nodding, Castle whispered, "Yeah. I'm glad though. It's still very early and.."

"You were scared."

"Very. If she's born now... I'm sorry for bothering you mother."

Martha shook her head, "Don't worry about it. If you need me Richard you can call me."

"I will mother."

Castle hugged her mother and the kissed her on the cheek.

Meanwhile, Kate was standing in the bathroom looking at herself in the mirror. Part of her was glad that the labor pains had stopped. It was way too early for her daughter to make an appearance. She liked being pregnant, but hated the not knowing what was happening to her. She liked being in control and she wasn't in control of anything anymore. She whispered to her daughter, "You need to be patient little girl. Don't be like your mommy and be so impatient to see the world and meet your family. You aren't done cooking yet."

Castle smiled when he heard her talking to their unborn baby. He walked into the bathroom and took her in his arms and whispered, "Are you ready for bed?"

Kate nodded and let him lead her to the bed. He helped her into their bed and took off her shoes. She climbed under the covers and sighed softly. She felt Castle's arms settle around her waist. His fingers drew all kinds of shapes on her skin. She shivered and whispered, "How did I ever get so lucky? When my mom died, I never thought I would be happy again. I never thought it was possible. To have a family again. I keep waiting for something to happen to take it all away. I'm afraid that I will wake up one day and it will all be gone. You, Alexis and Lillian. Everything that means so much to me."

Castle kissed her on the neck and whispered, "We aren't going anywhere Kate. We love you."

Kate laughed, "She can't love me. She doesn't know what love it yet..."

"That's where you are wrong Kate."

"I'm wrong?"

She felt Castle nod against her back and then he laughed softly and whispered, "She can tell that you love her by the way you talk to her. How your hands rub you stomach. Don't tell me you haven't noticed how she gets more active when we talk to her."

"It's mostly when you talk to her..."

"She goes crazy when you talk to her. She kicks harder and does all kinds of crazy somersaults."

Kate laughed, "She does. I love her so much Castle. I just want her to be safe and healthy when she's born. I..." She took a deep breath and whispered, "I was terrified that I was really in labor. She's too little to be born now. She might not survive and..."

"Shush... She's safe and sound."

"For now. If she's like me then she's going to be very impatient. She won't make it..."

Castle turned her over so that she was looking at him. He kissed her softly and whispered, "If she's anything like you then she will be just fine. She will be strong and beautiful. Just like her mother. If she was like me, then she would stay in there forever. Heaven knows that I'm never in a hurry for anything, but she's not mine and..."

Kate shook her head and whispered, "Stop Rick..." Then she kissed him softly and put her hand on his cheek. She looked into his eyes and whispered, "I wish that she was yours, but she isn't. There isn't anything I can do to change that. I would do so many things differently. I never would have married Josh. I would have opened my eyes to the fact that you love me a lot sooner. All those wasted years Castle."

He whispered softly, "You weren't ready. We weren't ready to come to terms with our feelings back then Kate. We have many more years together."

She nodded and smiled at him, "How do you always know what to say?"

"It's a gift. Look, why don't we try to get some sleep and then I'll make us breakfast in the morning and..."

She kissed him and then they laid down in bed together. He held her while she fell asleep. Wondering how different their lives would be if they had acted on their feelings back then instead of after she had married Josh. Before he drifted off to sleep, he decided that he didn't care. This was where their lives had taken them and he wouldn't have changed a thing...

_**A/N- Not quite time for the baby to make her appearance yet...**_


	33. Chapter 33

Eight weeks later Kate was still pregnant. This had to be her daughter's idea of a joke. A really bad joke. She had decided that her daughter was definitely taking after her father. Apparently deciding that she was content to stay inside her for as long as humanly possible.

She hadn't had anymore Braxton-Hicks contractions. There had been nothing to signal that her daughter was ready to be born. She was seeing her doctor once a week now and even Doctor Taylor was confused by these turn of events. He kept expecting her to go into labor any day now, but no. Her daughter was stubbornly refusing to make her appearance into the world.

So, her doctor decided that it was time to induce her. That was how she found herself in a birthing room on the fifth of July. Hooked up to machines to monitor her heartbeat and the heartbeat of her daughter. They had started an iv that morning and now she was just waiting for the contractions to start.

Twelve hours later and they were still waiting. It seemed that their daughter was determined to make her appearance on her schedule. Not anyone elses. She hadn't even had the first labor pain. It felt more like the cramps she had when she got her monthly cycle. To say that Kate was frustrated would be an understatement.

The nurse came in to the room to check her out at five in the evening. Seeing that she hadn't made any progress as far as dilating, she told her, "I'm going to call your doctor."

Kate had simply nodded and cried tears of frustration. Castle sat beside her, holding her hand.

The doctor came in a few minutes later and told Kate, "I'm not liking the way your progressing. I don't want to wait."

Kate panicked and asked, "Is she okay?"

"Her heartbeat is strong and she's not showing any signs of distress, but that could change if we don't deliver her soon. I want to perform a c-section tonight."

Castle spoke up and asked, "Is it safe?"

Doctor Taylor smiled, "It's safer than letting her continue being pregnant. It's for her health as well as the baby's. Lets have ourselves a baby. Shall we?"

Castle smiled at Kate and when he saw her face, he could tell that she was upset. After the doctor left, he asked, "Are you okay?"

She nodded and then whispered, "I failed her..."

"What?"

"I can't even give birth right. I..."

Castle shook his head and whispered, "No sweetheart. It's not you. She's just stubborn and like her mom, she does things when she ready, but sometimes she needs a push in the right direction."

Kate smiled at him, "Thank you."

"What for?"

"For being you. For trying to make me feel better."

He gave her a smile and asked, "Did it work?"

"A little bit."

He kissed her softly on the lips and then he whispered softly, "I can't believe the sex didn't work."

Kate rolled her eyes and laughed softly at him, "You are terrible Richard Castle." Then she put her hand on his cheek and with tears in her eyes, she whispered, "But I love you so much. Thank you so much."

"What for?"

"For being you. I couldn't have done this without you."

His forehead furrowed in confusion and asked, "Done what?"

"I couldn't have survived this pregnancy. You made me see that life was worth living. That I could find love again. That I could be happy..."

He leaned down and kissed her softly again. He shook his head and whispered, "You don't give yourself enough credit. You can do anything you set your mind to Kate..."

"Not anything. You gave me something wonderful. Something that only you can give me." She put her hand on her stomach and whispered, "Give us. You gave us hope. A future. A family. I don't know what I would do without you or Alexis."

Castle nodded, "You did the same thing for us Kate. You gave Alexis a mom for the first time in her life. I think she likes you more than me now."

Castle was only halfway joking. He would watch Alexis and Kate together and it made him smile. They could spend hours sitting on the couch doing each others hair. And no matter how strange Kate's hair looked, she would always tell Alexis that it was absolutely beautiful. It never failed to melt his heart and it made him grateful for opening his heart and his life to loving Katherine Beckett.

He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard the nurse say, "Are you two ready to meet your baby?"

He felt Kate's grip on his hand tighten and he watched her nod. He kissed her forehead and whispered, "Everything will be okay and soon we will be meeting our daughter."

He started following her bed, but was stopped by the nurse, "You need to wait here."

That was when Kate started to panic. She tried to sit up and he heard her say, "I need him with me!"

The nurse that was pushing Kate's bed, told her, "He just needs to get ready himself. Then, Mary will bring him into the delivery room. Plus, you don't want him seeing you get ready."

Castle walked over and kissed her softly. Then he whispered, "I'll be in there soon with you. I love you." Then he put his hand on her stomach and whispered, "Take care baby girl."

Kate felt her heart melt once again at this man's compassion for a baby that wasn't truly his. It made her fall in love with him all over again. She finally whispered, "Hurry back to us Castle."

He nodded and watched as she was wheeled away from him. He had to hold himself back. Because every instinct he had in him made him want to follow her. He felt a tug on his arm and smiled at the nurse. She smiled back and asked, "First baby?"

He shook his head, "We have a little girl. She's six. Almost seven."

The nurse smiled and thought that this family was so incredibly lucky. She could tell that this man and woman were in love with each other.

After what seemed like forever, Castle and Kate were reunited in the delivery room. He bent down and kissed her forehead softly. Then he took her hand and whispered, "This is it."

The next few minutes went by quickly. Castle was staring at Kate, so he didn't see what was going on behind the sheet. However, he made the mistake of looking and he realized immediately that he shouldn't have. Because he saw them cutting into Kate's stomach and he felt sick. However, he managed to fight off the sickness, but he collapsed to the ground.

The nurse laughed and said, "I don't think he has a strong stomach."

Kate rolled her eyes and whispered, "Seriously? The man can stomach dead bodies, but seeing me like this freaks him out..."

The second nurse was finally able to bring him around. He shook his head and whispered, "I'm fine, I'm fine.."

Laughing, Kate told him, "Sure you are. Keep your eyes on me."

He nodded and whispered, "Yeah..."

"Seriously? What happened?"

"Seeing your blood..." He felt his stomach threaten to revolt and he whispered, "Can't deal with it..."

She shook her head and he leaned down to kiss her softly. Then she whispered, "Don't do that again Castle."

"Never."

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Kate felt a painful pressure on her stomach. She grunted and whispered, "That hurts..."

Doctor Taylor smiled and told her, "She's almost out."

Kate nodded, "Okay..."

Soon, her doctor asked, "Want to cut the cord daddy?"

Kate laughed, "Think you can handle it?"

He nodded and walked behind the cloth. Finally, he reached for the scissors and the doctor pointed to the spot where he needed to cut. He took a second to look at their daughter and he felt the air leave his lungs. Even covered in goop, she was a little heartbreaker. Then, he heard her cry and then he felt the tears start.

He heard Kate gasp and then she asked, "Is she okay?"

Castle followed the nurse and watched as she was weighed and cleaned off. She was a tiny little thing. She weighed just over six pounds. Six pounds three ounces to be exact. She had a head full of hair just like her mom. They put her in his arms and he lost his heart all over again. She had him wrapped around his little finger. She opened her eyes and then she yawned. Castle had never seen a more precious sight in his life. He whispered, "Hello there baby girl..."

Castle had never believed in miracles, but he knew that this little girl was the biggest miracle of all. Ten fingers and toes and the most wonderful gift anyone had ever given him.

Kate kept trying to see her daughter, but she was out of her line of sight. He heard the panic in her voice when she asked, "Castle?"

He walked over to her and whispered, "She's perfect. They are just cleaning her up. Making her pretty for you."

Soon, the nurse brought the baby over and laid her on her chest. Looking into her baby girls eyes, she felt an instant connection to her daughter. She thought that she had known love before, but it was nothing like this. She kissed her baby girls forehead and whispered, "Hello sweetheart. I'm your mommy." Then she looked up at Castle and whispered, "She's so tiny..."

Castle smiled, "Just like her mommy..."

Kate's heart overflowed with love and she whispered, "I love you sweetheart. No one will ever hurt you."

Their daughter looked into her eyes and she blinked her eyes. Kate smiled at her newborn daughter. Then she noticed her eyes. They were a bright and piercing blue. If she hadn't known better, she would have sworn that they were Castle's eyes. Which, was crazy, but she wished that they were. That was the only thing that could have made this day even more perfect.

The nurse swooped in and took her off of her chest. Kate suddenly felt empty again. She wanted her baby girl back in her arms. She panicked and asked, "Where are they taking her?"

The nurse smiled and whispered, "To get her cleaned up and checked over by the pediatrician on staff. You need to go to recovery and then, we will reunite you with her."

She was anxious to have her little girl back, but she realized that it was necessary. So, she looked at Castle and whispered, "I love you. Thank you for being here. For loving me. Us..."

He smiled and whispered, "Always..."

They wheeled her off in one direction and left Castle standing in the middle of the delivery room. He smiled and went downstairs to make the phone calls to their family and friends...


	34. Chapter 34

_**Things are about to get interesting...**_

The first call Castle made was to his father-in-law. When Jim Beckett answered the phone, he smiled and said, "She's here."

"She is?"

"Yes. They had to do a c-section. Turns out our daughter is more like me than her mother."

Jim laughed, "Is Katie up to having visitors?"

He looked at her clock and noticed that it was nearly ten at night. Time had seemed to stop. He told his father-in-law, "You can come tomorrow morning. It's probably best if she gets some sleep tonight."

"I agree. Sleep is going to be in short supply for awhile. How about you? Are you going home to get some sleep?"

"Honestly? I don't feel the least bit tired."

"You need to sleep son."

Castle knew that he needed some sleep, but he was too pumped full of adrenaline to even think about sleeping. He finally told him, "I know, but all I want to do is watch her and the baby. It was an amazing thing to see. Holding her was..." Castle felt himself tearing up and finally whispered, "the best thing that has happened to me since Alexis was born."

Jim smiled and they talked for a few more minutes and finally hung up the phone. Castle looked at the time and decided to send text messages to the guys in case they were sleeping.

He knew that his mother would still be awake, so he dialed the phone at the loft and she picked up on the first ring, "Richard? Is the baby here yet kiddo?"

Castle smiled, "Yes mother. She's so beautiful. She's surprisingly tiny for being late, but she's perfect mom. Absolutely and completely perfect..."

Martha could heard the pride in her sons voice. She had a huge smile on her face. Then she asked, "When can she have visitors?"

"Tomorrow. Can you bring Alexis?"

"Of course. I bought some presents for her. Oh and flowers and..."

Castle laughed and whispered, "Good night mother."

"Night Richard."

He hung up the phone and walked back to the nurses station. He found out the room that she'd been assigned to and walked inside. He expected to see her wide awake, but she was sound asleep. The nurse brought the baby in ten minutes later. She woke Kate and said, "Time to feed your daughter Mrs. Castle."

Kate woke up and smiled when she saw her daughter in the bassinet. Castle bent down and picked her up. He kissed her on her forehead and whispered to her, "Here's your mommy."

Kate smiled at him and she fell in love with him all over again. He was a man of many faces. The face that she loved best was that of daddy. There was nothing more sexy than a man with his children. At least in her opinion.

She took her daughter and smiled softly, "Hello there sweetheart. Are you hungry?"

Castle watched her in awe. God she was beautiful. She was made to be a mother. She seemed to know just what to do. He watched as their daughter nursed. Kate looked up at Castle and smiled. Then she whispered to him, "She's beautiful Castle."

She nursed for awhile and then she fell asleep. Kate went to burp her, but Castle stopped her and asked, "Can I?"

She smiled and nodded, "Yes."

She watched as he took their daughter and burped her. It was loud and they smiled at each other and Castle said, "Whoa there little lady..."

"She takes after her daddy."

Smiling at her, he handed her back to Kate to see if she would eat. Apparently their daughter was more interested in sleeping than eating. Castle knew that would probably change by the time they brought her home.

Kate didn't want to lay her back in the bassinet. She was more interested in memorizing her face. She ran her fingers over her forehead and whispered, "She's perfect Castle. Absolutely perfect. I could watch her all night..."

He smiled, "I know you can, but you should get some sleep. Let me take her for awhile."

She hated to admit it, but he was right. So, she let him take their daughter and she laid down and watched him. He was talking to the tiny baby girl. She couldn't make out the words, but the smile on his face spoke volumes. He was enamored with the tiny baby. Kate knew that their daughter had him wrapped around his little finger. He carried her over to the bassinet and changed her diaper. It amazed her how everything came natural to him.

He wrapped her back in the blanket and she settled back to sleep. Castle sat beside the bed and whispered, "She's amazing. Thank you Kate..."

Kate could only nod as she drifted off to sleep and Castle soon followed. Exhausted from all the excitement of the day.

They woke a little over two hours later to the sound of the baby crying. Castle startled and Kate whispered, "She sure has a set of lungs on her."

"Alexis was like that. She's still like that when she doesn't get her way."

Kate laughed, "Well they are sisters after all."

There was an awkward moment of silence when Kate realized what she said. Then she smiled and said, "They are sisters."

She said it with such determination that Castle knew better than to argue with her. They were sisters. They were going to grow up in the same household. Once the adoption was final, Alexis would be her sister. In every way that mattered. She was glad that Lillian was here now. Her father had called a week ago to tell her that the adoption papers had been drawn up. All that was missing was Castle's signature.

She finally got her settled down and back to sleep. Castle took her and laid her back in the bassinet. The nurse came in to take her back to the nursery. She promised to bring her back in the morning after the doctors made their rounds.

It was nearly six in the morning when they brought her back to the room. She was still very tired, but it was a good kind of tired. She loved her little girl and she loved being a mother. It was a role that she was meant to play. The best role of her life.

She fed her and then Castle burped her. Handing her back to Kate, he went and sat down in the chair by the window. Then he smiled and told her, "I'm going to go downstairs and get some fresh air. It's been a long night. A long day even."

Kate smiled and accepted the kiss that he offered her. Then she whispered, "I love you."

She watched as her husband walked out of the room. She looked down at her daughter and whispered, "He's a good man little lady. He loves both of us. So very much."

She smiled and she noticed that Lillian's appetite seemed to be picking up some and she ate much more. She burped her this time and then held her in her arms and smiled at her baby girl. Looking down at her nursing daughter, she couldn't shake the feeling that Lillian had Castle's eyes. Eyes that she had stared into for years. Eyes that she loved. She had to shake her head to keep from crying. She wished that it was true, but it couldn't be. Could it? She couldn't deny that her tiny baby girl had her husbands features. Sure, she had her hair color, but those eyes. Those beautiful piercing blue eyes. Those eyes were all Castle.

Logically she knew that all babies were born with blue eyes, but she knew without a doubt that those were his eyes. The same eyes that she had stared into for the past three plus years. Eyes that showed every emotion, better that his facial expressions. Eyes that she had grown to love. She knew that this little girl was his and not Josh's. She didn't know how she knew, but she did.

It couldn't be true. Could it? She hadn't remembered ever sleeping with him before she and Josh split up. No matter how hard she tried to remember, she couldn't. All she could remember was the time for Christmas on. Because that was when she was truly happy. Josh had never made her happy. Not like Castle had. Josh had wanted her to get rid of this tiny baby that she held. She felt the tears well up in her eyes at the thought of missing this feeling. The feeling of being totally and utterly complete. Simply by holding her newborn daughter in her arms.

She couldn't shake the feeling that this tiny baby girl's father wasn't Josh. She didn't have one feature in common with the man that she had thought was her father. If she didn't know better, she would swear that her baby girl looked more like Castle each time she looked at her tiny face.

She sighed and she knew that there was only one way to put her mind at rest. She picked up the phone and called the one person that she knew would be able to help her.

Lanie answered the phone on the third ring. Kate could tell that she was still half asleep. She laughed when Lanie said, "Someone had better be dead or dying."

Kate smiled, "It's me Lanie."

"Kate! Did you have her yet?"

"Castle should have called you. She was born late last night."

She heard Lanie yawn and say, "It looks like he sent me a text. I was out with Javi last night."

"Oh really?"

She heard Lanie laugh, "Yes really. Now, what is this call about. Because I know you didn't call me to ask about my love life."

Kate sighed and then told her friend, "I need a favor. A big favor."

Lanie could tell by the sound of her best friends voice that it was something serious. So, she told Kate, "Whatever you need I will do it."

"I need you to bring something to check get DNA from Castle and Lillian."

"What? Why?"

Kate took a deep breath and then looked over at her sleeping daughter in the bassinet. The next few words out of her mouth had the potential to change everything in her daughters young life. Hopefully for the better, but she was still scared. Scared of not being able to remember something to important, so vital. So, she told Lanie, "I think Castle is Lillian's father."

Kate heard the phone fall to the floor. Then she heard Lanie saying, "I'm here. Dammit! I dropped the damn phone. Give me a second. Ahhhh... I'm back."

Kate laughed and asked, "Are you okay?"

Lanie sounded out of breath and told her best friend, "You really should warn a girl before you blurt out something like that. I dropped the phone and then fell out of the damn bed..."

Kate laughed and said, "I'm sorry Lanie."

"Don't be. Can I ask why?"

"Why what?"

"Why you think Castle is her father?"

Kate swallowed hard and finally said, "She has his eyes. She looks so much like Alexis that it's scary..."

Lanie told her softly, "Sweetie, she isn't even a day old. All babies have blue eyes when they are born."

"No Lanie. Most babies have a dark shade of blue eyes. Her eyes are the same exact color as his. That piercing blue that he has. That Alexis has. She's his daughter and not Josh's. Which I know is literally impossible because we hadn't slept together before I got pregnant and..."

"La la la la la...That's more information than I need to know sweetie. I will bring the things I need to collect their DNA."

Kate whispered, "Thank you Lanie, but do me a favor."

"Why do I think I'm going to regret this. What?"

"Don't say anything to Castle."

"Why?"

"Because if I'm wrong I don't want to get his hopes up. I know I'm not wrong, but..."

Lanie sighed and told her friend, "Fine. Where's his toothbrush?"

Kate smiled, "It's in our bathroom. It's the one with Peter Pan on it."

Lanie laughed, "Figures. I will be there in about an hour. Where is writer boy anyway?"

Kate smiled, "He went downstairs to get some fresh air. Thank you Lanie. I love you."

"I love you to and don't mention it. You owe me one. A big one."

"Anything Lanie."

"See you sweetie."

She hung up the phone and looked down at her daughter and smiled. She had no doubt in her mind that this tiny baby girl was Castle's daughter. What she didn't know was how. How had she gotten pregnant with his child when she had been married to Josh? Had she been unfaithful to him? Why didn't she remember it? Why didn't Castle? What the hell had happened to create this perfect little girl laying in the bassinet beside her now?

She wiped away a tear and whispered, "I'm going to figure this out little lady. I'm not a detective for nothing..."

She finally fell asleep as she watched her baby daughter sleep. Her baby girl deserved answers and she was going to find out the biggest mystery of all. Who the father of her baby girl was...

_**A/N One reviewer sort of guessed where it was going. I promise you that there is lots more to write about and I'm excited to hear what everyone thinks...**_


	35. Chapter 35

When Lanie walked into the hospital room Castle was nowhere to be seen. She asked Kate, "Where is he?"

Kate smiled and then told her friend, "He went home to eat and take a shower. He looked exhausted Lanie."

Lanie laughed, "I'm sure he was. This whole thing can't be easy on him."

They heard Lillian stirring and Lanie asked, "Can I hold her?"

Kate nodded and watched as her friend went to pick up her baby daughter. She saw how her friends eyes filled with such an array of emotions. Then, she heard Lanie whisper, "She's beautiful Kate."

"I know."

It wasn't bragging, it was simply a fact. She heard Lanie gasp softly and that was when she knew that her friend saw it to. Lanie whispered, "Those are definitely Castle's eyes."

"I know. What I don't know is how. How can she possibly be his daughter?"

Kate looked at her friend and she could tell that something was bothering her. Something that had the potential to upset her. Kate finally asked, "What? You know something Lanie."

"Do you remember that case with the dirty bomb?" Kate nodded and Lanie continued, "Well, afterwards, we all went out for drinks. I've never seen you and Castle quite so drunk. I mean you were fall down on the floor drunk and Castle wasn't much better."

"What aren't you telling me?"

"I don't know for sure, but the two of you disappeared into his office at the Old Haunt. No one knew where either of you were. For at least forty minutes. I was sure that the two of you were celebrating in your own way. After what the two of you had been through. We all figured that you wanted some time alone. To decompress in your own way and..."

"Lanie..."

"None of us really knew that you had actually done anything. I mean, you were married to Josh and supposedly happy."

"We were. At least I had made myself believe it at the time."

"Well, when you both came out of the office..."

"What?"

Lanie sighed. She had managed to push the thoughts of that night out of her mind. She had decided that nothing had happened between her friend and her partner. Nothing between them had changed. Things between them had been awkward since she had married Josh. Surely it would have gotten worse if they had slept together while she was married to another man. So, she decided that nothing had happened between them. She would have bet her last dollar on it. However, staring into the eyes of Kate's newborn baby daughter was like looking at a miniature version of Castle.

It was too much of a coincidence. That had been nearly 9 months ago. Sure, the baby could still be Josh's, but those eyes were all Castle.

Kate saw the confused look on her best friends face and she knew that whatever Lanie had to say to her wouldn't be good. Finally, Lanie whispered, "Your hair was a mess and..."

"And what?"

Lanie sighed, "Shit." Lanie felt the tears fall and she whispered, "You looked happy and..."

"Come on Lanie. I promise I won't be upset."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that if I were you."

"Tell me."

"I hate this..." She heard Kate sigh and she whispered, "I could smell him on you. All over you. And I dismissed it at the time, but the smell of sex was all over the two of you."

Kate's mouth dropped open and she whispered, "I slept with Castle..."

It was more of a question than a statement. Then she asked Lanie, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because. I didn't have any proof. Besides, the two of you weren't actually parading around naked in the Old Haunt."

"We just disappeared for nearly and hour. God Lanie. He's going to hate me. Going to think that I lied to him and..."

Lanie shook her head, "Has he ever said anything to make you think he remembers?"

Shaking her head, Kate told her, "No. Never. I don't remember that night. Why did I have to get so drunk and.."

"Would you change it? Change the fact that your one night of love created this beautiful little baby? Would you call it a mistake? Because if it hadn't been for that 'mistake' she wouldn't be here."

Kate looked at her daughter in her best friends arms and she shook her head and whispered, "No. Never."

"Do you think it would change Castle's love for her?"

"No. If anything it would make him love her more. I know he's the kind of man that would raise another man's baby. He's proven that time and time again in the last few months, but Lanie... This is something that he might not forgive me for. Maybe we are better off not knowing. I..."

Lanie shook her head, "No. Girl, this isn't something that you can hide from. He's going to put two and two together and come up with four. Look, I'm not saying that it's going to be easy, but you can do it. Hell, he loved you like crazy when he thought that she was Josh's daughter and you agreed to let him raise her."

"I just wish I could remember."

"I know you do."

"I honestly thought that she was Josh's baby. I mean, I was married and thought that I had been faithful to him..." Kate ran her fingers through her hair and whispered, "God...I can't do anything right..."

"Stop it right there. I know you and I know that isn't true. I also know that you and Castle were meant to be. Hell, I've been front and center to the whole Caskett sideshow for nearly four years. He stood by you while you married Josh. He was there when your world fell apart and you needed him most. Do you really think that he's going to think any less of you for this?"

"I don't know Lanie... How drunk were we?"

"Lets just say I had to have Javi carry you to the car and into your house."

Kate remembered the next morning that she had woke up with a headache and no memory of the night before. She had no idea how she had gotten home. She had always assumed that they had went out and celebrated too much and one of the boys took her home. She was right, but she wished that she could have remembered what had happened between them the night before. The night that their daughter had been conceived.

"How am I going to tell him Lanie?"

Lanie put her hand on her friend shoulder and told her, "Let me do the DNA test. First, you need to tell him what you suspect. Because if I see it...then..."

"Others will see it."

Lanie nodded, "Exactly. Don't lie to him Kate."

There had been enough lies between them over the years. He only deserved honesty from her. From the woman he loved. The mother of his daughter.

Lanie leaned down and kissed her friend. She pulled out a cotton swab and said, "Let me swab her cheek and then I will go to the loft and get his toothbrush. It will take about a week, but I can rush it.."

"Thank you Lanie. I love you."

Lanie nodded, "I love you to."

She leaned down and kissed her friends cheek. That was when they heard a knock on the door and Kate smiled when she saw her father walk into her room. He had a huge teddy bear in one arm and a bunch of flowers in the other.

He walked over and put the teddy bear on the chair beside his daughter and the flowers on the end table beside her. Then, he leaned down and kissed her cheek softly. She heard him gasp when he saw his granddaughter for the first time. He smiled at her and asked, "Can I hold her?"

Kate nodded with tears in her eyes, "Sure daddy."

Jim Beckett bent down and pick up the tiny baby girl. Then he turned to his daughter and said, "She looks just like you Katie. I remember that you were such a tiny little thing. I swore that I was going to break you. Your mother had to threaten me with bodily harm if I didn't hold you."

Kate laughed, "She would have to."

Jim nodded, "Yes. Then, when I held you for the first time, I didn't want to put you down. You were so perfect. So pretty. Then you wrapped your tiny hand around my finger and I was lost. I knew that I would do anything to make you happy."

Kate smiled, "You did..."

"Not always..."

"Dad. Not today."

Jim nodded and smiled when the baby stretched and starting making soft mewling sounds. Sounds that told him his granddaughter was hungry and wanted to be fed. He smiled and handed her over to Kate. He watched as his daughter held his granddaughter and he saw how happy she was. This was all he had ever wanted for her. Happiness.

The next few hours was a flurry of visitors in and out of the room. Espo and Ryan both showed up with stuffed animals for the baby. They weren't as big as the one that her father had brought, but they were still bigger than she had ever seen before.

Captain Montgomery came to visit and he smiled at the latest addition to their family. He held her and told Kate, "She's going to break more than a few hearts around the precinct."

Kate smiled at marveled at all the people that loved her and her daughter. At one time, she thought that she had nobody. Now, however, she realized that she had another type of family. The very best type. The type that was created by circumstance and sheer luck.

She only wondered where Castle had taken off to. He had been gone for nearly eight hours and she was starting to miss him. He finally showed up with Martha and Alexis in tow.

Kate smiled at him and he leaned down to kiss her softly. Then she whispered, "I've missed you. Where were you?"

He whispered, "I had some things to take care of."

Okay... That sounded very cryptic, but she didn't want to say anything in front of their family. So, she simply smiled and nodded. Then, she handed Lillian to Castle. He smiled down at the little girl and walked over to sit in the chair beside her bed. Kate noticed that Alexis was practically hiding behind Martha. She smiled at her daughter and told her, "Come sit with me."

Alexis shook her head and buried herself into her grandmother's leg. Kate looked at Martha and asked, "What's wrong with her?"

Instead of Martha answering, Castle said, "I told her not to bother you. You just had surgery and..."

Kate felt the anger well up inside her. She looked at Martha and said, "Can you possibly take her downstairs? Please?"

Martha sensed that this wasn't a question that she should say no to. So, she took Alexis by the hand and said, "Lets go to the gift shop and pick out a outfit for the baby."

Alexis didn't argue with her grandmother. She simply took her hand and led her out of the room. When Kate heard the door latch close, she turned to Castle and said, "I don't believe you told Alexis not to bother me!"

"What? You had surgery and.."

She shook her head, "I'm not going to break if she sits beside me Castle. I don't want her to feel excluded and that's what's happening."

"You need to..."

Kate shook her head again, "I need you to stop acting like I'm going to break. Why were you away from me all day? You should have been here with us. With your family. Instead, you were gone practically all day and you missed our family visiting us."

Castle looked around and noticed all the gifts from their friends and family. He sighed and told her, "I told you I had some things to take care of."

"Which is apparently more important that being with your wife and daughter."

"You know that isn't true."

"Isn't it?"

"No. It isn't. If you must know. Meredith showed up at the loft and tried to take Alexis again. Mother called Ryan and he and Esposito showed up there. I'm surprised they didn't say anything to you about it."

Kate shook her head, "I didn't know. What happened?"

"She's being charged with attempted kidnapping and assault."

"What? Who did she assault?"

"Me."

That was when she noticed the scratch marks on his face. She asked softly, "What happened?"

Castle sighed, "She found out about the adoption. It made it's way into the papers. As well as Lillian's birth. Apparently she decided that she would try to get Alexis again while I was distracted with Lillian being born."

"Are you kidding me?"

She heard Alexis say, "No mommy. She scared me and Grams. I..."

That was when Alexis walked over to her bed and practically threw herself at Kate. Kate kissed the top of her head and patted the bed. She whispered, "I need my big girl to sit with me."

"Are you sure mommy?"

"I'm positive."

She watched as Alexis crawled into bed beside her and snuggled up to her. She breathed the scent of her daughter in and kissed her head again. She wrapped her arm around her and whispered, "She won't ever bother us again Alexis. I'm your mommy and always will be."

"Promise?"

"Pinky swear."

Kate held out her pinky finger and Alexis wrapped hers around hers and then she little girl started to cry. Kate held her tightly and when the tears finally stopped, Kate whispered, "Are you ready to meet your little sister?"

"Yes."

Castle started to hand Lillian to Kate, but she shook her head and whispered, "Let her hold her."

"Are you sure?"

Kate nodded softly. This was an important meeting for the two sisters. So, Castle showed her how to hold her baby sister. Alexis sat stiffly at first, but after a few seconds she relaxed and looked down at her sister. The baby yawned and then opened her eyes and looked at her sister. The two girls held each others gaze and the adults watched them with fascination. Alexis finally lowered her head and whispered to her sister, "I won't ever let anyone hurt you." Then Alexis kissed her on the forehead.

None of the adults in the room were able to keep from crying at the exchange. Martha finally asked, "You never told me her full name."

Kate looked at Castle and whispered, "You tell her."

Castle nodded, "Her name is Lillian Rose Castle."

Martha put her hand on her chest and whispered, "After me?"

Kate smiled, "Yes. You and my mother. Two of the strongest women we know."

"I...I don't know what to say. Thank you."

Kate reached out her hand and Martha offered hers. Then she whispered, "Thank you for welcoming me into your family. For believing in us when I didn't even believe that he could or should love me. You can't even begin to imagine how much that means to me."

Martha waved her hand in front of her and said, "I'm going to cry."

Castle smiled as he watched the exchange between the four most important people in his life. They were all practically in tears and Castle smiled when Alexis said, "I think you need to change her diaper daddy. She's smelly."

Everyone laughed and Castle took Lillian from Alexis and went to change her. He smiled and changed her diaper. Then, he wrapped her back in the blanket and she sighed and went back to sleep in his arms. She was definitely a daddy's girl already and Castle was perfectly fine with it. His family was absolutely perfect now.

After another hour, Kate yawned and Martha took a reluctant, but very tired Alexis home. Leaving Castle and Kate alone. She looked at her husband and said, "We need to talk Castle."

"That doesn't sound good."

"It's not bad. At least I don't think so."

"Okay..."

"I need you to promise that you will listen to me. Really listen to me and not jump in and interrupt me."

"I promise."

Kate took a deep breath and then said, "I think... God this is hard..."

Castle reached out and took her hand and squeezed it softly. Then he whispered, "You can tell me Kate."

Kate sighed and finally whispered very, very softly, "I think Lillian is your daughter."

Castle was so quiet that she thought that he hadn't heard her. She looked at him and asked, "Did you hear me?"

He could only nod and stare at her. Then he asked, "How can she be? We never..."

She shook her head, "I don't remember it, but apparently we drank too much the night after the dirty bomb case. We disappeared into your office at the Old Haunt and... The rest is history..."

"She can't be mine..."

"She has your eyes Castle. Those bright blue eyes are yours and Alexis'..."

He was dreaming. He had to be. What other explanation could there be? He didn't remember sleeping with her that night. He actually didn't remember anything about that night. At least not after they had arrived at the bar. He had woken up in the office of the Old Haunt. Fully clothed, but with a pounding headache. He hadn't went to the precinct because it had taken him the whole day to recover. The only thing he remembered was that he smelt like her. And sex. Oh God...Had he slept with her when she was still married to Josh? He felt like he was going to be sick.

He looked at her and whispered, "I need to go. I..."

Castle stood up and kissed her softly on the forehead. Then, she watched as he hurried out of the room. She knew that she shouldn't have told him. She turned to look at her daughter and she whispered, "He will come back sweetheart. He has to. He just has to..."

With that, she closed her eyes and cried herself to sleep. Wondering if she had made yet another mistake in her life...

**_A/N There was just no good place to break this up. so, it's longer than normal. I know, another cliffhanger. I promise to update soon and remember, all my Castle stories have happy endings. It just takes a bit to get there..._**


	36. Chapter 36

_**A/N Okay, Kate and Castle have been married for six months. This story doesn't follow a specific timeline. It's not set in any particular season. Josh and Kate were married for three years. **_

_**I had changed one of the chapters because somehow my saved file got changed and I didn't notice it. Sorry for any confusion.**_

Castle walked around for nearly and hour before he found himself back at the loft. He walked inside and saw his mother sitting on the couch watching tv. She looked up at him and asked, "Is everything okay?"

Obviously the anguish he felt was reflected on his face. Although, if he was truthful with himself, his mother had always been good at reading him. Even when he thought he had his emotions under control. He shook his head and whispered, "Kate..."

"Okay. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that this had something to do with Kate. Is she okay? The baby?"

Castle felt his heart drop at the mention of them. God. Kate must hate him for getting her pregnant and breaking up her marriage. Everything that had happened to her had been all his fault.

Hearing his mother clear her throat he went to look out the window and he whispered, "Kate..."

"Okay. This has something to do with Kate."

He nodded, "She told me that Lillian is my daughter. At least she thinks she is." He took a deep breath and whispered, "I...apparently we slept together while she was married to Josh."

"Oh."

"I don't remember it and neither does she. Apparently we had too much to drink and one thing led to another. I destroyed her marriage.. If it hadn't been for me they would be happy and married and.."

Martha shook her head, "No. Don't you dare think that. What happened, happened for a reason."

"She's going to hate me mother."

Martha smiled, "She doesn't hate you. She loves you. Her marriage wasn't meant to be. She could never hate you."

"I hate myself enough for the both of us. I felt sick to my stomach when she told me what I'd done. Why wasn't I strong enough to resist temptation? I've loved her for years, but..."

Martha smiled at her son. He was a good man, but sometimes men were a bit clueless. She finally asked, "Do you love her or Lillian any less?"

Castle shook his head, "No, but what if she...what if she can't love me mother?"

"She will Richard. I've seen the way she looks at you. She loves you. So very much. She loves that baby and..."

"It was a mistake and..."

"No! You stop that right now Richard Castle. That baby is a blessing and she is what brought the two of you together. She isn't a mistake Richard. She's a beautiful baby girl that has two wonderful, loving parents. Parents that would do anything for her. Sure, you don't remember the night she was was possibly conceived, but that doesn't matter. Because in the grand scheme of things, she's your daughter and Kate is your wife. You were willing to raise her before she was born. When you thought she was Josh's daughter. Why does that have to change now that she might actually be your biological daughter?"

"I should have respected Kate and not forced myself on her and..."

"Who's to say you forced yourself on her? I know Kate well enough to know that she isn't one to be forced to do anything she doesn't want to do."

"We were drunk and..."

"Drunk or sober. It doesn't matter Richard. Stop blaming yourself. Unless she tells you otherwise, take this for the gift that it is. The two of you might have made that beautiful little baby girl. Nothing else should matter."

Castle smiled and nodded, "You're right mother."

"I can be on occasion. Now, you need to go back to the hospital and be with her. I will hold down the fort here."

Castle nodded and kissed his mother on the cheek. Then, he hurried out of the loft and headed to the hospital. When he got to Kate's room, he heard their daughter crying. Loudly. He heard Kate trying to sooth her, but apparently the baby wasn't in the mood to be soothed. He walked over to the bed and held out his hands. Kate sighed and handed the baby over to him.

She whispered, "I've fed her. Changed her, but she's still crying. She hates me.. My daughter hates me..."

Castle laughed and started talking to their daughter. Then he noticed the problem. She wasn't swaddled in the blanket. He knew that newborns would sometimes fuss if they weren't bundled tightly enough. Apparently Lillian was one of those babies.

He smiled and talked to his daughter, "Daddy's here sweetheart. Lets get you bundled up and see if that works."

Castle quickly bundled her up tighter and her cries died down to whimpers. Until they finally stopped altogether. He laid her in the bassinet and smiled at Kate.

Kate looked at her husband and smiled. He had come back. She whispered, "Can we talk?"

"I think that would be a good thing."

Kate smiled and took his hand in hers. Then she whispered, "First of all, I'm sorry for surprising you with the news. I should have waiting until I knew for sure. Lanie is running tests and..."

Castle groaned, "Lanie knows?"

Kate nodded, "She's the one that told me about that night. I don't remember any of it Castle."

Castle sighed, "Neither do I."

"I don't remember it, but I don't regret this Castle. If she's your daughter, it wasn't a mistake. She could never be a mistake. Something so beautiful could never be a mistake."

Castle let out a breath and told her, "I thought you would hate me. I broke up your marriage and..."

Kate stopped him, "No. Josh did that. That's all on him."

"But if we hadn't.."

"If we hadn't slept together then she might not be here. I can't regret that we might have created her. Together. I could never regret that. I know that she's only a day old, but I love her so much Castle. And maybe I love her a little more knowing that she might be your daughter. Instead of the daughter of a man that's so self-centered that he can't love a tiny little baby. You were there for us when we needed you most Castle. You offered to raise her. The baby of another man. I don't know many men that would be willing to do that."

"I love you Kate. I've always loved you. From the first time we met."

"I think part of me loved you also. It just took me a long time to realize it."

"You saved me Kate. Saved me from a life of loneliness."

Kate shook her head and whispered, "I don't know if I would have survived without you. Being alone and pregnant."

Castle shook his head, "You would have. You're strong and..."

Kate smiled, "You make me stronger. You and your love for me. It's always there. Even when I don't particularly deserve it."

"Kate..."

"No. I need to say this Castle. I know these last few months haven't been easy on you. I've been an emotional wreck. I've said and done some things that would send most men running the other way. And you stuck by me through it all."

"I love you Kate."

Kate nodded, "I know you do. I don't deserve you. Don't deserve your love, but it's unfailing and constant. I don't think I can ever repay you."

"You do Kate. Every single day. I love both of you. So, so much. I reacted badly. I felt sick to my stomach. I know what it's like to have an unfaithful spouse and to think that I was the cause of your marriage breaking up... It killed me Kate."

"Stop..Just stop right there. You weren't responsible for what happened between Josh and I. I thought I loved him, but I realize now that I was using him. Just as much as he was using me."

Castle was confused and asked, "Using him for what?"

"To hide from my feelings for you. I've loved you for a long time. Probably since before we met. I read every single one of your books. Multiple times."

"I always knew that you were a fangirl."

Kate laughed, "Probably your biggest fan."

"But you hated me when I first met you."

"I didn't hate you Castle. I hated who you appeared to be in the press. The playboy. The ass who only cared about having a blonde on each arm."

"It was all fake you know. For the press and to sell books. I'm much more of a family man." He looked over at the sleeping baby and whispered, "This is all that I need. All I've ever wanted."

Kate laughed, "I know that now. But back then, I was hiding from my true feelings. Josh was a convenient hiding place. I wanted you, but my head told my heart that you weren't good for me. So, I married Josh, but never fell out of love with you. I was never able to forget you."

"Oh Kate..."

"So maybe that night wasn't so wrong after all." She pointed at the bassinet and whispered, "Because we have her and I wouldn't change that for anything in the world. Not to save a failing marriage or keep a man that couldn't love a woman that was pregnant with his child. You stepped up when I needed you most Castle. That's the sign of a real man. He steps up and is there when he's needed most."

Castle looked at her with tears in his eyes. Then he whispered, "I love you and no matter what the tests show. Whether she's my daughter or not, I love our daughter. And that's what she is. Our daughter. I will love her no matter what. I just don't want..."

His voice faded and she looked at him. Then she whispered, "What don't you want?"

"I don't want you to hate me."

"I could never, ever hate you. You gave me her. The most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me Castle."

"You really think she's mine. Don't you?"

Kate nodded, "I do. She has your eyes."

"All babies have blue eyes when they are born."

Kate shook her head, "No. They have blue eyes. Her eyes...Her eyes are the same color as yours Castle. The same eyes that Alexis has. The same eyes that I've been staring into for years. I know those eyes."

"You noticed my eyes?"

Kate laughed, "It's impossible not to Castle." She put her hand on his cheek and continued, "It was the first thing I noticed about you. Those big beautiful blue eyes. Bright and beautiful."

Castle turned and kissed her hand. She smiled and asked,"Are we okay?"

He nodded and whispered, "We are okay. I just panicked and.."

"And?"

"And wondered if you would hate me because of this..."

"Never. I love you." Then she smiled and whispered, "Always..."

He returned her smile and whispered, "Always..."

They sat together in silence for the next few hours. Taking care of their daughter together and becoming even stronger. He knew that no matter what the test results showed, he would always love Kate and Lillian. They were meant to be and nothing could take that away from them. Nothing...


	37. Chapter 37

_**A/N Some people are upset because I deviated from the original story. I actually didn't. I'd had this in mind since the beginning. I wasn't sure that I was going to go with it, but decided to. So, I apologize in advance.**_

_**Also, I couldn't write anything too angsty. Too much good stuff going on today...**_

Lillian and Kate were released from the hospital two days after her birth. When they pulled up to the loft, Kate could only smile. She was truly glad to be home again. Home with her family.

When they walked into the house, their family and friends were waiting for them. When Castle opened the door, everyone called out, "Surprise!"

Kate looked at Castle and asked, "Did you know about this?"

He shook his head, "I didn't do this."

She kissed him softly and then she whispered, "Are you sure?"

Castle laughed, "I'm not telling, but Lanie might have mentioned something about having a welcome home party for you."

He noticed the small smile that crept onto her face. She turned to him and whispered, "Thank you."

"You aren't mad?"

"Why would I be mad?"

"I know that you don't like to call attention to yourself."

She looked at Lanie as she picked her daughter out of her baby carrier. Lanie looked totally natural holding her. She smiled and told him, "These people are family. I don't like attention from strangers."

Castle pulled her over to the couch and sat beside her. He kissed her softly and she laid her head on his shoulder. She watched as the others passed the baby between them. She was surprised to see Lanie bending over to hand Lillian to Espo. The moan shook his head, but Lanie insisted. He whispered, "I don't want to break her."

Lanie laughed, "You aren't going to break her Javi. Babies are stronger than they appear."

Jenny smiled and showed him how to arrange his arms, and when he was ready, Lanie put the baby in his arms. For a moment, he forgot how to breathe. He looked down at her and a small smile crept onto his face when the little baby yawned. For a moment, Kate thought that she was going to start crying, but she smiled when her daughter seemed to snuggle deeper into his arms. She saw him relax visibly and then she saw a small smile creep onto his face.

Kate looked up at Castle and whispered, "I wish I would have had a camera to capture that. No one would ever believe it."

Castle smiled and nodded. He decided that watching their family hold the baby was something special. Something that he would remember for the rest of her life.

After everyone had left that night, Kate stood beside the bassinet watching their daughter sleep. Castle came up behind her and hugged her carefully. He put his head on her shoulder and whispered, "Are you tired?"

Kate shook her head, "I could stand here all night watching her."

Castle felt the same way. Standing there looking at the perfect little baby would never get old for him. He finally pulled her towards the bed and whispered, "You need to get some sleep. She will be up before long demanding to be fed."

Kate finally let him lead her over to the bed, but it took for about an hour to finally drift off to sleep. She was sure that Lillian would wake up and need her and that she wouldn't hear her. Castle could tell by her breathing that she was finally asleep. He smiled and made his way over to where their daughter slept. She made small sucking motions with her mouth and it made Castle smile.

As he watched her sleep, he couldn't help but be reminded of another little baby. Alexis was just as Lillian. Just as fragile looking. He had spent hours hovering over her bassinet. Watching her every little breath. He worried about her every little movement. Every time she made a noise, he wondered if there was something wrong with her.

It was only a bit easier this time. At least he knew what to do this time. He was no longer a brand new father. He had six years of parenting under his belt. Although, this time, he had a wife that he knew would help him work through any issues they might have. The first night was always the most difficult. After this, it would be a piece of cake.

The next week seemed to fly by. Lillian was the perfect baby. She barely cried. Even then, it was only when she was hungry or needed her diaper changed. Kate couldn't have asked for a calmer baby.

Lanie showed up at the loft early one morning. Kate had just finished feeding Lillian when she opened the door. Lanie smiled at her friend and asked, "Can I come in?"

Kate nodded, "I could use some company. Castle and Alexis aren't here. She had a doctors appointment this morning."

Walking over to the couch, Kate handed her daughter over to her best friend. Lanie smiled, "She just gets more and more beautiful. She looks more like you every time I see her."

Kate smiled and asked, "So, what did you come all the way over here for?"

Lanie nodded towards her purse and said, "I got the DNA results back."

"And?"

"Look for yourself. They are in my purse."

Kate shook her head and told Lanie, "I can't. What if.."

Lanie smiled, "I haven't checked the results. It's a sealed envelope. So, either you want to know and look yourself or you don't want to know."

"And if I don't want to know?"

"Burn it. Hide it. Do whatever you want. All I'm doing is bringing the results."

Kate laughed nervously and took the envelope out of her friends purse. She turned it over and over in her hand. It was a nondescript white envelope that simply read: DNA Results.

Kate captured her bottom lip between her teeth and she took a deep breath. She whispered, "I don't know if I really want to know..."

"Girl. I'm going to slap you. Of course you want to know..."

She sighed, "Will it really matter? Will I love her any less? Will Castle?"

Lanie shook her head, "No, but it will put your mind at ease. Whether or not she's really his daughter isn't the point."

"Then what is?"

"I think you're afraid that if you find out she's really his, then you will admit that you made a mistake the night she was conceived."

Kate looked at her daughter and whispered, "That's crazy. She isn't..."

"I know. She isn't a mistake, but neither of you can remember that night. Can you?"

Kate nodded, "I've tried. Over and over again. I've tried to remember that night, but all I can remember is what happened before we got to the Old Haunt and nothing else until the following morning when I woke up with a hangover. It's like I lost eight hours of my life Lanie..."

Lanie shook her head and tried to reach for the envelope. Kate held it away from her and laughed. Then she whispered, "I'm being silly aren't I?"

"Just a little bit. Look, the worst thing that happens is that she isn't his daughter. Does that really change anything though?"

Kate shook her head, "He says that he will love her. No matter what."

"And you believe him."

"Of course I do. He's proven himself over and over again. He loves her and he doesn't know for sure."

"And I know he will love her even if she isn't his biological daughter. He's a good man Kate."

"No. He's a great man. The best. He's nothing like I thought he was in the beginning. He's the exact opposite in fact..."

"Then there's nothing to worry about. Just open the envelope and see what it says."

Kate laid the envelope on the coffee table and simply stared at it. Part of her wanted to forget all about it and just go on as if she'd never asked Lanie to do the DNA test. The other part of her wanted to know. She swallowed hard and looked at her best friend. Then she told Lanie, "Maybe I should wait and let Castle do it..."

"Are you afraid?"

Kate nodded, "Yes..."

As Kate reached for the envelope, Lillian started to fuss. Kate smiled and whispered, "Saved by the bell..."

Lanie sighed and looked at the baby, "You are definitely your mother's daughter. Stalling techniques down pat..."

Kate laughed and went to feed her daughter. The inevitable delayed for now, but Kate knew that she couldn't put it off forever. So, she decided to wait until Castle got home and then they would do it together...


	38. Chapter 38

_**A/N Kind of short, but I had to write it before I went to bed. I hope you don't mind. It's a bit fluffy...**_

After Lanie left that afternoon, Kate kept staring at the envelope on the table. Part of her wanted to open it before Castle got home, but part of her wanted to wait for him. She had never been so conflicted. She swallowed hard and looked at the envelope one final time. She paced the floor nervously and finally decided that she was just going to open it.

She read the words printed on the page and smiled softly. Then she folded the letter and put it back into the envelope. She grabbed her phone and sent Castle a text message: _**Hurry home...**_

Then she walked over to her daughters bassinet and looked down at her baby girl with tears in her eyes. She had known that this was a possibility, but it still overwhelmed her. She kissed two of her fingers and then pressed them to her sleeping daughter's forehead. Then she turned and walked out of the bedroom silently.

She turned on the baby monitor and then laid down on the couch waiting for Castle to come home.

She didn't bother to get up when she heard the door open hours later. She continued to stare into the couch cushion. She didn't move until she heard Alexis walk upstairs to her bedroom. Then, she walked into the kitchen and started taking out the ingredients for dinner that night. She worked silently and she knew that Castle was watching her. He didn't try to talk to her. He knew better. He knew that she would talk to him when she was ready.

That time didn't come until they were getting ready for bed that night. She walked over to her dresser and picked up the manilla folder that her father had given her. Inside were the adoption papers. All they needed to be filed was Castle's signature. She walked over to him silently and handed him the folder. She waited for him to open it and then saw his face fall when he saw what it contained. However, before he could say anything, she took the folder from him and ripped it in half.

Castle was shocked and asked, "What? Why did you..."

She shook her head and whispered, "I have my reasons Castle."

With that, she turned and left their bedroom. Leaving Castle confused and scratching his head. She returned a few minutes later with a plain white envelope in her right hand. She handed it to him and whispered, "Open it..."

She watched as he opened the envelope. Saw the joy that spread from his lips and invaded his eyes. Then he looked at her and asked, "Is this right?"

Kate nodded, "It says that they did the test three times. Just to make sure there was no mistake."

Castle looked over at the sleeping baby and whispered, "She's mine..."

"I don't know how, but she's really and truly yours Castle."

He rushed forward to kiss her so very softly. A thousand different emotions running through him. Everything from joy to disbelief. He whispered, "I just wish I could remember that night."

Kate nodded and kissed him. She let him hold her tight and then she put her hands around his waist and whispered, "I love you. I love our children. I want to remember this night forever. Even if we can't remember the night we conceived her, the here and now is all that matters. This... this is all we need to be happy."

Castle nodded and then he tilted her head up and kissed her so very softly. Then, they both turned their heads to look at their daughter as she slept and neither seemed to mind that the minutes were going by so very slowly. All they could think about was that their love had created something so perfect and pure. And that something was named Lillian Rose Castle.

Castle was sure how long they had been standing there looking down at their sleeping daughter, but soon, she started to stir and started to cry. Kate smiled and whispered, "I think she's hungry."

He kissed the top of her head and let go of Kate. Then she went to sit in the rocking chair to feed her. It always amazed him to watch her with their daughter. She'd never seemed particularly maternal before they had gotten together. Honestly, he had wondered how she would adjust to motherhood. She was handling it like a pro. If a woman could be a pro at such a thing. Although he shouldn't have been surprised. Kate never did anything halfway. Whether it was in her work or her personal life, she always gave 110%... Always. That was one of the things that had made him fall in love with her. That and the fact that she had an incredible heart. Although she sometimes failed to give her heart enough credit for her success in life.

One of the best things he had done in his life, up to this point, had been to take the chance on loving her. He knew that it could have all blown up in his face. Then he thought about what he would have missed out had Josh actually wanted to be a father. To watch another man raise his baby girl would have been the ultimate heartbreak. He said a silent prayer of thanks to whatever fate had intervened in their lives to bring them together. He walked over to stand beside Kate and he ran his hand through her hair. She looked up at him and smiled softly. God. She was so damn beautiful and he was an incredibly lucky man.

When Lillian was done nursing, she looked up at him and whispered, "Do you want to burp her daddy?"

Castle nodded and held out his hands to take his baby girl. Then, he patted her on the back ever so softly and whispered to his little girl, "Daddy's got you and I love you little one. You're my baby girl..."

Kate looked up at him and she couldn't stop the tears that fell from her eyes. She loved this man and she knew that it wouldn't have mattered to him if the results had been any different, but somehow, this seemed to make her birth perfect. She heard the baby let out a tiny burp and she smiled as Castle handed her back to her. Then he leaned down and kissed her softly and whispered, "We love you daddy.. Always..."

Castle smiled and whispered, "Always..."

_**A/N so, there you have it. the answer to the question that everyone wanted to know. Still more surprises in store for our favorite couple...**_


	39. Chapter 39

_**A/N I am marking this story as complete now. I feel that this story is finished. My next story is in the works. It's not anything in particular. It's a series of one shots based on randoms words...**_


	40. Chapter 40

_**A/N Okay, so this story will be ongoing, but I'm not going to update until I have a good chapter ready to go. I've lost my beta reader and as such it might be awhile before I have something for this story. I want to do it justice, but seeing as others are calling for me to continue, I will mark it as in progress for now...**_


	41. Chapter 41

_**A/N I want to thank Sensaiman for betaing this for me. I definitely appreciate it! I hope you enjoy the latest chapter. Thanks in advance for reading and I love any and all reviews.**_

Everything changed when Lillian went to her six months doctor's visit. Kate had noticed that sometimes Lillian wouldn't hear her when she came into the room if she came up from behind her. If she was close to her, she could hear her, but if they were any further than three feet away from her, she wouldn't hear them.

After a series of tests, the doctors determined that Lillian had severe hearing loss. She had lost about eighty percent of her hearing and what she had left, was marginal at best. She could hear Kate better than Castle. It broke their hearts to think that their daughter would never be able to hear them.

The doctor did give him some good news. With surgery and hearing aids, her hearing could be almost normal. She had surgery when she was barely seven months old. She had been fitted for hearing aides soon afterwards. Kate and Castle could tell that she could hear them. Because her face broke into the biggest smile when she heard her parents voice clearly and from behind her. Which, she had never done before.

She would need regular checkups, but with hearing aides, her hearing would be normal. The doctor didn't see any reason for her to not develop like a normal infant.

Eight Years Later

Josh Davidson sat outside the White Plains home watching and waiting for a view of his daughter, the daughter that he had given up all rights to nearly eight years ago. He wasn't sure why he was here. Other than he felt the need to make things right with Kate; and maybe for a chance to see his daughter. He'd heard through the grapevine that Kate had given birth to a baby girl. At the time he hadn't cared. It hadn't mattered to him because he hadn't wanted children. At least he thought that he didn't, but things change. Especially when you are diagnosed with cancer and given mere months to live.

He watched as the door opened and closed multiple times. Allowing the occupants to come and go as they pleased. He saw five children gathered around Kate. Josh could tell that they were all hers. Well, except maybe for the redheaded little girl. The others were all Kate though. He knew that the oldest of Kate's children was his daughter. So, he got out of his rental car and headed over to where Kate was playing with the kids. Kate obviously hadn't heard him approaching, because when his shadow crossed over her and she looked up, she startled and put her hand over her heart and whispered, "Josh."

He saw the fear and anguish in her eyes. He knew that he had put that there and he would be forever sorry for that. He had changed a lot in the last eight years. He had come here wanting to see his daughter, but looking at the children gathered playing in the yard, he couldn't see one child that looked like his. They all looked like Castle.

He looked at her oldest daughter and then he heard Kate tell him, "She's not yours."

"Castle."

It wasn't a question; it was more of a statement. He watched as the children threw a tennis ball to what was obviously their dog. Kate finally nodded and Josh said, "I'm glad. She deserves to be happy. You deserve to be happy."

"She is. I am."

Before she could say anything else, she heard the door to the house open again and she knew that it was Castle. She heard him ask, "What the hell are you doing here Davidson?"

Josh held up his hands and told them, "I just wanted to see..." He shook his head, "I guess it doesn't matter what I want. Because I know that none of it matters. I won't be back. I'm sorry to bother you."

With that, he turned and hurried back to his car. He'd seen what he had wanted to, but maybe not. He'd been expecting to see his child. A child that he and Kate had made, but was surprised to see that child never existed. He supposed that it was a good thing, because he wasn't a father and never would be. He could admit that Castle was good for Kate. He had always known that Kate had loved Castle, even when they were married, He'd seen the look in her eyes whenever Castle was around. It was a look that she never got when she was with him. He had always known that their relationship was doomed.  
He knew that it was for the best. Now, he would die and be at peace.

After Josh drove off, Castle looked at Kate and asked, "What was that all about?"

Kate shook her head, "I have no idea. He says that he wanted to see Lillian..."

"Why? Why after all this time?"

Kate shrugged and told him, "I have no idea. I don't even know how he knows where we live now..."

Castle shrugged and turned to watch their children playing. They had five perfect children and they had another one on the way. Kate had been devastated when she'd gotten the news about her latest pregnancy three months ago. They'd decided that five was definitely enough, but apparently life had other ideas for them. Ideas that meant they had to move out of the loft and buy a house together. It was the best decision he'd ever made.

Kate's commute to work was longer, but she had grown to love this house. On any given day the sound of their children's laughter filled the air. They also adopted a bulldog named Pepper three months ago. That had been Alexis and Lillian's idea. The two girls had been asking for a dog for the longest time. Pepper had shown up at their door one rainy night. Kate had fallen in love with her slowly.

Castle sat down behind his wife and let his hand rest on her stomach. Then he kissed her neck softly and asked, "Any regrets?"

She smiled and turned back to look up at him. She nodded and whispered, "Only one."

"What is that my dear Detective?"

She kissed him softly and whispered against his lips, "The only regret that I have is that we spent so long dancing around us. When I think that we could have missed this..."

She watched at their kids played in the sprinklers and the squeals of laughter resounded in the air. There had been a time when she couldn't imagine being a mother of one child, much less five and in a few months, six. She also knew that she wouldn't trade this life for anything in the world. No amount of money could replace the life that she had built with the man she loved, the man who had loved her even when she was married to someone else. The man that had given her what she needed most. Family. Something that she desperately needed at that time in her life.

Kate felt Castle's hand work it's way under her shirt. He let his thumb trace small circles over her skin. Over the place where their baby was growing and developing. They'd already made four beautiful children together and they were each a precious gift. She'd been upset to find out she was pregnant again. She had cried for hours that day, but she knew that she would love the latest addition to their family.

Looking at Alexis she couldn't help but smile. Their oldest daughter had become a bright, funny and outgoing child. At fourteen, she was just starting to get interested in boys, although, for the most part, boys were on this side of yucky, but Kate had noticed her talking about a certain boy in her Algebra class at school. She had tried to talk to Castle about it, but he had shook his head and told her that he didn't want to hear about it. To him, Alexis was still his little baby.

Alexis loved her siblings. She was the perfect big sister. She was extremely protective of her younger siblings. She had taught Lillian to walk when she was only nine months old. From there, Lillian never slowed down. Despite her hearing loss, she had developed into a happy, healthy little girl. Unless they had known about her hearing loss, no one would guess that she had ever had issues with her hearing.

Of all their children, Lillian was Castle's daddy's girl. She was the one that was always in on his latest schemes. He bought her a laser tag vest when she was barely four. Allowing her to join in with her father and sister. In some ways, she was better than her father or sister. Kate thought that it was because she was smaller and could hide behind the couch and strike out of nowhere. It always made her laugh to watch them play. Castle had tried to get her to join in, but that had always been his thing. Something he had started with Alexis when she was little and Kate didn't want to intrude on that. So, she would sit on the sidelines and watch as her family played.

Kate had risen up the ranks at the precinct. Montgomery had been promoted to Police Commissioner and they needed someone to take over. Kate had been offered the position, but she had turned it down. It would have meant playing politics and that was something she wasn't good at. Plus, it would take her out of the field. Which is what she enjoyed. She wasn't management material. No, she would much rather do the arresting and investigating. Leave the politics to someone else. She was second in command at the twelfth and that was fine with her.

Castle smiled and asked, "What are you thinking about?"

Kate shook her head, "Josh showing up here just got me thinking about us. About everything that's happened over the past eight plus years."

He kissed her slowly and asked, "Would you change anything?"

Looking at her children playing and sitting here with Castle. She knew that she wouldn't change a thing, because every road had led them to this. Who's to say if they would have ended up here if anything had changed? Even the slightest difference could have potentially changed everything for their family. It wasn't a risk that she was willing to take.

She smiled back at him and whispered, "No. I wouldn't change a single thing."

"Me either."

At that point, the sky opened up above them and the rain came down. The kids squealed loudly, but still played in the water. Neither Kate nor Castle had the heart to make them go inside. Then, off in the distance, Kate and Castle saw a double rainbow. She turned around in his arms and kissed him again oblivious to everything and anything else. Safe in his arms, she knew that there was no place she would ever want to be. This was it for her. He was her one and done. She had known it years ago and she knew it now. He was her home. Her safe harbor. Everything she wanted out of this life could be found in his arms and the arms of their children.

Gone was Kate Beckett career driven and hell bent on revenge. In her place was Kate Castle. Wife, mother and best friend to the most amazing man she had ever known. Some would say she had lost herself when she met Castle. She would disagree. The day she met Castle was the day that she had found herself. She had discovered how wonderful life could be through loving him. He made her a better person and she had more fun since he had come into her life. She looked forward to spending the next fifty years with him; raising their children, and surrounding themselves in the love that they had spent building together, nothing would ever make her happier. Nothing...


End file.
